Messed up situation...

Anti-Chris said:
I don't want to admit it, but I think you are right... I am just confused as to why she insisted that she does not want to end what we had but also not making any effort to continue contact.
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People struggle with negative feedback.

If she strings it along she doesn’t feel like she’s the one who ended it.
 
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Datura said:
How the fsck do you people end up married? It boggles my brain.

Then, when schit goes tits-up you go to a South African tech forum to vent and seek advice. You should be put in a fscking loony bin for the latter...

Go see a marriage councilor or get fscking divorced. Schit is beyond "MESSY" it is fscking BROKEN, mate!
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Huh?

I didn’t detect any problems in his marriage from the OP? So what are you on about?

There’s nothing broken or in need of counselling.
 
Anti-Chris said:
I didn't want to even reply to these types of comments, but I will make an exception for yours...
I have been married for 18 years to a beautiful woman who fulfills all my needs and basically worships the ground that I walk on... We have been best friends from the start and shares EVERYTHING with eachother. We are 100% honest with eachother about our fantasies, feelings, needs etc. We are honest enough with eachother to know that I can not possibly be the only guy she fancy and the same with her.
You know what is broken? A husband that has to tell his fugly wife that he only has eyes for her because she would moer him with the koekroller if he even dares to catch a glipse of the nicely built aunty in Woolworths....
Maybe thats why we are stil happily married after 18 years and not divorced after 2?
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I need to laugh and like this post at the same time. Very true.
 
Imagine your wife was seeing someone. Would you be ok with it? Imaging you were scared of what it might do to your relationship if you objected so you told your wife: "Nah it's cool, you can see Michael." But deep down it hurt you. Now imagine your wife was so oblivious to your pain that she just thought: "Sweet - I can see Michael!"

I'm not saying your wife is lying when she says: "See the girl!". But consider for a sec that maybe for whatever reason she's too scared to say: "You can't see the girl". Put aside for a moment your glee at being given the ok to see the girl and reverse the roles and think about what you honestly would prefer if your wife was seeing another guy.
 
Sounds like this is somebody the OP might ditch his wife for in the long run.
Is this the game the OP wants to really play?
 
saor said:
Imagine your wife was seeing someone. Would you be ok with it? Imaging you were scared of what it might do to your relationship if you objected so you told your wife: "Nah it's cool, you can see Michael." But deep down it hurt you. Now imagine your wife was so oblivious to your pain that she just thought: "Sweet - I can see Michael!"

I'm not saying your wife is lying when she says: "See the girl!". But consider for a sec that maybe for whatever reason she's too scared to say: "You can't see the girl". Put aside for a moment your glee at being given the ok to see the girl and reverse the roles and think about what you honestly would prefer if your wife was seeing another guy.
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She has been, quite a lot over the years. It was cool whilst she was doing it, not when he started.
 
rh1 said:
She has been, quite a lot over the years. It was cool whilst she was doing it, not when he started.
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Ah ok I wasn't sure if he meant she had guy friends or was actually 'seeing' other guys.
 
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Polymathic said:
Sounds like this is somebody the OP might ditch his wife for in the long run.
Is this the game the OP wants to really play?
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I honestly would never... I might have considered a polygamous relationship, but I don't think the ladies would have been up for it...lol
 
This topic rears its head over the years, I remember another forum member stating this (cannot remember his nick):

The reason he wont have an open relationship, is that his wife would get more action than him, in fact he would get none, as she was way more attractive that he was.

It makes sense even more today.
 
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