Azbubu
Honorary Master
Hi, my name is abzo and i'm a mouthwashaholic. You may have not heard of us prior to this, and I wouldn't blame you. We don't get the same coverage as your regular aholics. We don't really mind though. This is my story.
How does it start? The same way every other addiction starts I suppose. I initially started rinsing for the same reasons that most people do : to maintain strong teeth and healthy gums, to protect against the germs that promote plaque build-up and to prevent bad breath. I would rinse twice a day for 30 seconds, just as directed. I eventually started looking forward to it. I'd have a reason to get out of bed, looking forward to my morning rinse. I would cut social events and dinners short so that I could go home for my evening rinse.
But then I started to wonder why I could only rinse twice a day? Because the bottle said so? I was adamant that a 3rd rinse wouldn't hurt. I stood nervously in the bathroom, the bottle trembling in my hands as I took my first mid-afternoon rinse. I was worried, nay, terrified that i'd be found in a pool of my own blood in the bathtub from a mouthwash overdose. But nothing happened. I felt no different. The bottle had lied!
Soon enough I was rinsing after every meal. A while later, after every occasion. I'd rinse when I get my results, I'd rinse on the field after scoring a goal, I'd rinse after a promotion, I'd rinse on birthdays and anniversaries. If there was no occasion, i'd create one. It's Shark Week, must rinse. Kim Kardashian got married, rinse! Kim Kardashian divorced, rinse! Had a haircut, rinse! Rand is up by 0.003%, rinse! New iOS released, rinse!
My life had became a vicious swirl of rinsing and spitting. One shot of mouthwash after the next.
It came to a point where I had a bottle of mouthwash everywhere I knew i'd be. Two in the bathroom, one in the car, one in my office, one under my bed, one in the kitchen, one under the couch. My weapon of choice? Listerine. I found Plax to be too foaming, I'd resemble a rabid canid. I've tried almost every other brand on the market but have found nothing compares yet. I find that I'm judged for rinsing in public yet smoking is fine? Chewing tobacco is fine? I've had to resort to carrying my mouthwash bottles in brown paper bags to swig from in public. Flasks to swig from in meetings.
I don't have it as bad as other mouthwashaholics though, I usually just rinse, swirl and spit; many of my brethren unfortunately swallow which could lead to devastating effects.
Is it the fresh breath? The tingling sensation? The clean mouth feel? Maybe it's all of them, maybe it's none of them. I wish I could carry on with this post but unfortunately my bottle is calling.
Mouthwashaholics, rinse up!
TL;DR version : I'm addicted to mouthwash.
How does it start? The same way every other addiction starts I suppose. I initially started rinsing for the same reasons that most people do : to maintain strong teeth and healthy gums, to protect against the germs that promote plaque build-up and to prevent bad breath. I would rinse twice a day for 30 seconds, just as directed. I eventually started looking forward to it. I'd have a reason to get out of bed, looking forward to my morning rinse. I would cut social events and dinners short so that I could go home for my evening rinse.
But then I started to wonder why I could only rinse twice a day? Because the bottle said so? I was adamant that a 3rd rinse wouldn't hurt. I stood nervously in the bathroom, the bottle trembling in my hands as I took my first mid-afternoon rinse. I was worried, nay, terrified that i'd be found in a pool of my own blood in the bathtub from a mouthwash overdose. But nothing happened. I felt no different. The bottle had lied!
Soon enough I was rinsing after every meal. A while later, after every occasion. I'd rinse when I get my results, I'd rinse on the field after scoring a goal, I'd rinse after a promotion, I'd rinse on birthdays and anniversaries. If there was no occasion, i'd create one. It's Shark Week, must rinse. Kim Kardashian got married, rinse! Kim Kardashian divorced, rinse! Had a haircut, rinse! Rand is up by 0.003%, rinse! New iOS released, rinse!
My life had became a vicious swirl of rinsing and spitting. One shot of mouthwash after the next.
It came to a point where I had a bottle of mouthwash everywhere I knew i'd be. Two in the bathroom, one in the car, one in my office, one under my bed, one in the kitchen, one under the couch. My weapon of choice? Listerine. I found Plax to be too foaming, I'd resemble a rabid canid. I've tried almost every other brand on the market but have found nothing compares yet. I find that I'm judged for rinsing in public yet smoking is fine? Chewing tobacco is fine? I've had to resort to carrying my mouthwash bottles in brown paper bags to swig from in public. Flasks to swig from in meetings.
I don't have it as bad as other mouthwashaholics though, I usually just rinse, swirl and spit; many of my brethren unfortunately swallow which could lead to devastating effects.
Is it the fresh breath? The tingling sensation? The clean mouth feel? Maybe it's all of them, maybe it's none of them. I wish I could carry on with this post but unfortunately my bottle is calling.
Mouthwashaholics, rinse up!
TL;DR version : I'm addicted to mouthwash.
Hope it's also tamed.