Need relationship advice

OMG! I had no idea you felt that way about me.
Sheesh - come to lunch, we can talk, and maybe we can work something out to our mutual benefit.

XXX
 
If you believe he's happily married ask him to bring his wife with. Seriously.
That way you can get over him by seeing how happy he is with his wife and you get to maybe see if she's nice too. AND you won't look like you're sneaking around.

If you can't do that prepare yourself to either get your hopes up, to be used on the side, to start an adulterous affair that would end bad for someone or everyone. Or you can just cancel the lunch and don't go there.
 
When I first read the post my thought was also that he should bring his wife.
 
Moederloos said:
OMG! I had no idea you felt that way about me.
Sheesh - come to lunch, we can talk, and maybe we can work something out to our mutual benefit.

XXX
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Lol :D

If you not going to request the wifey to be present, then do not go ahead with the lunch..run, fast and in the other direction
 
Bottom line is these are 2 people who used to be friends ... Just because hes married, it doesn't mean he should drag his wife around for "relationship security".

Hopefully if he is a decent person he won't do something to screw it up. And on the lunch, I highly doubt you'll do something to screw it up for them.

I hope that when I am married my husband doesn't expect to be dragged to every lunch I go to with a friend who used to have the hots for me.
 
skoob said:
Tell him that he should invite his wife for lunch, and that you would love to meet her....I think that should scare him off.
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come on guys, sometimes honesty can mess up things unintentionally or complicate them if you are honesty too much. I think we should also give the guy credit too here. ;)

He is married, there's nothing wrong with having lunch with an old friend, i mean if the OP makes moves on the guy then if they guy is honest enough and loves his wife he should say no. If not them you cannot only blame the OP for wrecking the marriage, it takes two... :confused:

if they guy is sensible he should be able to go to lunch with her, without her wife knowing, and he should come back to his wife and continue live life without any hassles. :rolleyes:

Hopefully this is a once off and not going to be a habit of them meeting and having lunch together, because then and only then i would be worried.:rolleyes:
 
Unless ..... the wife is in on it from the start .... and they have something else in mind.
 
Kitten said:
Bottom line is these are 2 people who used to be friends ... Just because hes married, it doesn't mean he should drag his wife around for "relationship security".

Hopefully if he is a decent person he won't do something to screw it up. And on the lunch, I highly doubt you'll do something to screw it up for them.

I hope that when I am married my husband doesn't expect to be dragged to every lunch I go to with a friend who used to have the hots for me.
Click to expand...

+100, i always tell my GF that just because we are in a relationship, we don't have to do everything together....
 
I have had plenty of lunches with old friends - and most of them do not lead to sex.

Only those with old female friends do.
 
Why would a single girl complicate her life (and possibly the life of others) so drastically?

remybfg10k summed it upped very nicely and skoob just completed the inequality of this equation. My advice is make sure his wife knows and then invite her along. You need to see the two of them together. It'll help you come to your senses.

Yes there is such a thing as soul mates and then there's the whole 'meant to be' story. But do things the proper way. By some chance (which I would imagine you are hoping for) he is not happy he would first have to leave his wife before the two of you could go out to lunch alone together.

Forgetting all that though... PM me: I'm single!
 
Well, this is SA, so....

Is he African and married in common-law? Are you ok with being wife #2?
 
Some things you didn't mention:
Is it a business lunch?
Is his wife going to be there?
Will there be other people there?
Who's paying?

I would say that if it's just you and him on in a social setting, then this is too much like a date. Rather don't go. If you do go, then you should look happy (even if you aren't). Try to pay for yourself and let him know you have also moved on. Don't pine! Expect to leave early.

If it's a business thing with other work people there sould be no problem. You should still try to pay for yourself unless the work is paying. At any rate he should think you are ok with yourself and what you are doing. Don't leave with him or get left alone with him.
 
Would love to know who the OP is - since she is apparently a regular who posted under a different nick.
 
If you go and have a great time you might develop stronger feelings for him which would will leave you wanting more. Then you would start getting depressed and sulk on a daily basis. So, I wouldn't go.
 
My advice is not to go to lunch with him for his sake.

I don't go out alone with other women because I'm engaged and I don't want my fiancee to even have the thoughts of "what if". She won't go out alone with her male friends either.
It's just easier that way and avoids questions, doubt, mistrust, nasty gossip, etc.
Can you imagine what is going to go through his wife's mind if she finds out via some grape vine that her hubby is having lunch with other women alone?

Trust is a vital part of a healthy relationship and it's all too easy to ruin even if one is in the clear. So for his sake and for the sake of his wife I'd recommend that you cancel or at the very minimum have someone else attend the lunch with you.
 
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