Need relationship advice

HarleyB said:
Maybe, but at least it muddies the waters a bit and stops the casual browser from linking this thread to identifying comments I've made in any other threads.

If you're sure it's no mystery, PM who you think it is and find out if you're right ;)
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I can tell you one thing....Its not me:D
 
Don't do it. What do you hope to get out of it? If you want to pursue the relationship and become the "mistress" (he'll never leave his wife for you) then go ahead but it's just asking for trouble and be prepared to face the consequences. There's probably been a lot of sexual tension between the 2 of you and your MSN chats and meeting each other after so long is just confirming for both of you that you would like to pursue the relationship.
 
snakepit said:
Yeah i kinda see right through ure nic too, simple enough once one analyzes the writing style :) Sad too:(
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Probably. I'm sure the mods can figure out who I'm a clone of too, but as I said I'm just trying to deter the casual browser from cross-linking comments under the two nics.

Why is it sad? Because I created a new nic for this thread? Or is it something related to my other nic? Because then maybe I'm not who you think I am.

Gazer said:
Don't do it. What do you hope to get out of it? If you want to pursue the relationship and become the "mistress" (he'll never leave his wife for you) then go ahead but it's just asking for trouble and be prepared to face the consequences. There's probably been a lot of sexual tension between the 2 of you and your MSN chats and meeting each other after so long is just confirming for both of you that you would like to pursue the relationship.
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No, really, nothing like that! There's nothing sexual about it, no wanting to get together or anything like that. I just wanted tips on how to handle it from my point of view. I'm certainly not interested in pursuing the relationship or breaking up the marriage. Blunomore will probably think I'm sounding defensive again, but I'm really not. I'm just trying emphasise that that's not what I'm looking for. We were good friends, it's just an old-friends-getting-together lunch and if I don't go it will look a bit odd. I'm just trying to figure out how to handle it to make it easier on myself.
 
HarleyB said:
There's nothing sexual about it, no wanting to get together or anything like that. I just wanted tips on how to handle it from my point of view. I'm certainly not interested in pursuing the relationship or breaking up the marriage. Blunomore will probably think I'm sounding defensive again, but I'm really not. I'm just trying emphasise that that's not what I'm looking for. We were good friends, it's just an old-friends-getting-together lunch and if I don't go it will look a bit odd. I'm just trying to figure out how to handle it to make it easier on myself.
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Harley, in your OP you said you had feelings for him. You even said you do not know if the old feelings will be revived again. Now you say you do not have those feelings. We are confused :)
 
blunomore said:
Harley, in your OP you said you had feelings for him. You even said you do not know if the old feelings will be revived again. Now you say you do not have those feelings. We are confused :)
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Green(blunomore) that's the effect that the man has on her.:D She looses herself when she thinks on him. She has feeling alright:p:rolleyes:
 
Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else :p

Just joking.

How can you still not have met someone new?

Go out and get another man, there are only 3.3 billion of us around :rolleyes:
 
blunomore said:
Harley, in your OP you said you had feelings for him. You even said you do not know if the old feelings will be revived again. Now you say you do not have those feelings. We are confused :)
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I'm not denying that I have feelings for him. If I didn't the whole thing would be a non-issue :o. Which is why I was asking for advice on how to handle it to make it easier on myself. I wasn't brave enough to act on those feelings before, when we were both single so I definitely wouldn't do it now! I'm not hoping to get together with him, I just want to get through the lunch with minimal trauma to myself.
 
Devill said:
Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else :p
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Same advice that my exgirlfriend was given by her mother ...

I love it when mothers promote random sex and slutting around to their daughters ...
 
HarleyB said:
I'm not denying that I have feelings for him. If I didn't the whole thing would be a non-issue :o. Which is why I was asking for advice on how to handle it to make it easier on myself. I wasn't brave enough to act on those feelings before, when we were both single so I definitely wouldn't do it now! I'm not hoping to get together with him, I just want to get through the lunch with minimal trauma to myself.
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If it sounds like it is gonna be painful, don't go :)
 
HarleyB said:
I'm not denying that I have feelings for him. If I didn't the whole thing would be a non-issue :o. Which is why I was asking for advice on how to handle it to make it easier on myself. I wasn't brave enough to act on those feelings before, when we were both single so I definitely wouldn't do it now! I'm not hoping to get together with him, I just want to get through the lunch with minimal trauma to myself.
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If the lunch is going to cause you trauma why on earth would you consider going?
The only way to make it easier on yourself is not to go.
 
Dolby said:
Same advice that my exgirlfriend was given by her mother ...

I love it when mothers promote random sex and slutting around to their daughters ...
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Yes give me her number so I can tell her that its not the right thing to do! :p

Nha then she wasn't worth it. Rather be happy that you never married into that family ;)
 
I agree with the above statements. If you have feelings for the man regardless of the intention of the lunch, those feelings are just going to rear their ugly head during the lunch and for long after the lunch.

Don't put yourself in a vulnerable situation simply because you want to honour the friendship. It's just not worth it. You can't control your emotions nobody really can. We have no control over how we feel. It all seems pointless to me. Rekindling a friendship with a man you have feelings for is not a friendship. You can't be friends with a person who you feel something for and if you do that then it's a bit dishonest on your part as he isn't even aware of how you feel. Friendship as a relationship should be based on honesty too. So all round it is just not a good setup to involve yourself in. Cut your losses and move on. We don't stay friends with people for reasons. We drift apart for reasons.
 
It really soudns like ur fooling urself here. U have feelings, u have been chatting alot etc, ur now meeting for lunch....ur saying u dont want anything to happen, but i think u have that excitement of what if...some kind of expectation... ur not trying to rekindle a friendship i think...

nothing good can come of this....
 
Please don't do this lunch. I've been in the "wife's" shoes & its really unfair especially on a new relationship/marriage. I wondered what this girl wanted from my guy, whom she also never dated, but did have a crush on years before. The mere suggestion of them rekindling a friendship that could've been a relationship gutted me. I never trusted my guy the same again, even though nothing happened.

You say you like his wife. Be the bigger person and say no thanks.

Unless its too late and you already went to this lunch...?
 
I did go for lunch. It was perfectly innocent. His wife was there too, we all chatted and joked around, and I paid.

I'm glad I went. I realised that he's not as perfect as I remembered him being :), and that I actually missed having a good friend, and missed having someone I'm attracted to, more than I missed him himself.

Now I know I am over him.
 
yay, at least there was a conclusion in the end.. was worried there wouldn;t be one but the date suggested there might be.
 
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