open relationships?

DJ... said:
Kage, do you tell your hookups about your arrangement and the rules prior to the first time? The couple I know insist on the other party knowing the arrangement full well and on the odd ocassion insist on meeting meeting them...
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Yes. You need to. It removes complications from the start and there are no misunderstandings.
 
Yeah I was just about to ask Kage how he managed to stick it up his boyfriend's vijayjay but refrained...:o :D

I agree - exploring something not possible with the person you're committed to should be allowed...
 
LancelotSA said:
Um.... sometimes this is a necessity.... you may have a partner who really does not enjoy doing a certain act, that you really enjoy. The benefit of an open relationship is that you can both win if you find someone who does enjoy it. You get what you want to try and your partner does not have to suffer through it ;)

Or in the case of bisexuals, your partner physically not be able to give you what you want! :D
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You have already done the act with your partner.
You already know that your partner does not enjoy the act.
If you discussed with your partner before hand that you have a certain proclivity that they are not willing or *cough* able to act for you then you can agree.

This is not breaking the rule.
 
DJ... said:
Kage, do you tell your hookups about your arrangement and the rules prior to the first time? The couple I know insist on the other party knowing the arrangement full well and on the odd ocassion insist on meeting meeting them...
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In the experience of someone I know ( :D) most couples prefer to meet up first in a non sexual environment. They all suss each other out, discuss expectations, go home and talk about compatibility and whether they are keen and then if they are another meeting is arranged. Sometimes you will have the male partner finding the other female really attractive (obviously this is important as it is after all just physical) but the feelings are not the same between his partner and the other chap. Obviously nothing will happen then and you will politely tell them that it is not going to work out. Most people (from what the friend told me :)) are very mature about this sort of thing.

Obviously on the odd occasion it may be more spontaneous, like a pick up at a pub etc.... but those are usually less successful as those types do not understand the "rules"
 
Kage said:
You have already done the act with your partner.
You already know that your partner does not enjoy the act.
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Not necessarily. You could have discussed it and agreed not to try it. Like asphyxiation...:whistle:
 
Kage said:
Errr....that was the example I was thinking of using. :D
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But hypothetically, had your partner shunned the idea without trying it, why would you not be allowed to give it a go with the rent-boy, for example?

See what I did there? :D
 
LancelotSA said:
In the experience of someone I know ( :D) most couples prefer to meet up first in a non sexual environment. They all suss each other out, discuss expectations, go home and talk about compatibility and whether they are keen and then if they are another meeting is arranged. Sometimes you will have the male partner finding the other female really attractive (obviously this is important as it is after all just physical) but the feelings are not the same between his partner and the other chap. Obviously nothing will happen then and you will politely tell them that it is not going to work out. Most people (from what the friend told me :)) are very mature about this sort of thing.

Obviously on the odd occasion it may be more spontaneous, like a pick up at a pub etc.... but those are usually less successful as those types do not understand the "rules"
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Once off pick ups don't work...actually I lie...:o
The pub thing can work if it is right person involved it could be quite fun actually but then your other half need to be secure enough.
What really works for a once off pub though are barmen/ladies. :D
Go to the pub a few times...twice will do if the chemistry is right and then the 3rd time is the charm. :D
I am sharing waaay too much here.:D
 
DJ... said:
But hypothetically, had your partner shunned the idea without trying it, why would you not be allowed to give it a go with the rent-boy, for example?

See what I did there? :D
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See the post though...if you discussed it witht he partner and it is agreed then it is fine.
Communication.

I don't pay for sex. EVER!
 
Kage said:
Go to the pub a few times...twice will do if the chemistry is right and then the 3rd time is the charm. :D
I am sharing waaay too much here.:D
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Anyone who's been around the block knows this. This can get awkward if it's a local spot of yours though.

There is even a method to picking up barladies, but I started writing it out and realised that it might just sound a little creepy. So I won't. It does work though...:o
 
Kage said:
I am sharing waaay too much here.:D
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lol yes you are. It is very unlike you! Sharing is caring as they say though. Could open some peoples minds a bit or at least help them understand how it works. Open Relationships, or consensual as you called it earlier will never be for everyone though. LIKE ME! hehe.
 
ocleroux said:
lol yes you are. It is very unlike you! Sharing is caring as they say though. Could open some peoples minds a bit or at least help them understand how it works. Open Relationships, or consensual as you called it earlier will never be for everyone though. LIKE ME! hehe.
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I do not advocate open relationships or even controlled open relationships.
It takes a very unique partnership to make it happen and a a special combination of individuals to make it work.
 
Kage said:
I do not advocate open relationships or even controlled open relationships.
It takes a very unique partnership to make it happen and a a special combination of individuals to make it work.
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What Kage is trying to say ocleroux, is that you and your hand have a perfectly good relationship as it is. This just isn't for you...:p
 
DJ... said:
What Kage is trying to say ocleroux, is that you and your hand have a perfectly good relationship as it is. This just isn't for you...:p
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Yeah...we had a quicky this morning! Dont you just love morning wood! Getting the real deal tomorrow night though! :-) Python finaly gave in and invited me over while his GF is visiting her mom. I am very excited! lol
 
DJ... said:
What Kage is trying to say ocleroux, is that you and your hand have a perfectly good relationship as it is. This just isn't for you...:p
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....but surely there can be no harm in occasionally using his left hand? As long as he is open and communicates this to his right hand.
 
ocleroux said:
Yeah...we had a quicky this morning! Dont you just love morning wood! Getting the real deal tomorrow night though! :-) Python finaly gave in and invited me over while his GF is visiting her mom. I am very excited! lol
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Kak man! :mad:

Leave me out of this!!!

PS: My gf has sharper heels that yours! :D
 
LancelotSA said:
....but surely there can be no harm in occasionally using his left hand? As long as he is open and communicates this to his right hand.
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I think he's one of those sickos who wouldn't say a word and instead just make it watch...
 
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