Open relationships

Perhaps someone has the perfect partner in every conceivable way, but they have a completely different sex drive to their partner.
Perhaps they are a brilliant couple, but one of them have a fetish the other party isn't willing to indulge in.
Perhaps they are no longer attracted to each other after a few years of marriage and kids but they work well as a family, apart from the sexual aspect.
Perhaps, due to any number of reasons, they aren't emotional people.

There can be many different reasons for people to need external stimulation. For some people, it even brings the core couple closer together.

That said, I'd have a bit of a problem sharing someone I cared about and was emotionally invested in...
 
There's just one big flaw, for me, in the argument that open relationships work. Dads need to know if the kid is theirs :).
 
_Hecate_ said:
I'm curious... do they ever work? Where jealousy or insecurities dont ruin it? I dont think I'd ever be able to share someone I love. This must be a male fantasy, I've never met a woman thats open to the idea.
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And I agree it must be a male fantasy because the only 'benefit' would be guilt free sex with other people
You cannot have your cake and eat it...
 
kolaval said:
And I agree it must be a male fantasy because the only 'benefit' would be guilt free sex with other people
You cannot have your cake and eat it...
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then why do so many women have affairs?
 
kolaval said:
And I agree it must be a male fantasy because the only 'benefit' would be guilt free sex with other people
You cannot have your cake and eat it...
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smalltownsky said:
then why do so many women have affairs?
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let me guess cause the male wants it :whistle:

exactly its a 2 way street ..just many more woman tend to be quiet and keep it under wraps ...where as guys do this to but are generalised as the bad ones
 
kolaval said:
And I agree it must be a male fantasy because the only 'benefit' would be guilt free sex with other people
You cannot have your cake and eat it...
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And you think that women don't want or have guilt-free sex? What rock is currently covering your dorpie?
 
kolaval said:
And I agree it must be a male fantasy because the only 'benefit' would be guilt free sex with other people
You cannot have your cake and eat it...
Click to expand...
Nonsense... there are plenty women out there who are into NSA sex and quicky hookups.
BS societal rules brought about by religious teachings have resulted in aggressive sexual behavior on the part of women being frowned upon.
As long as whatever happens, happens between consenting adults then there's no problem... how can exploring one's sexuality be "having your cake and eating it" ?
 
_Hecate_ said:
Total different issue, nothing open about it. If the guy knew she's having affairs he'd probably insist on a divorce and more fathers would want paternity tests.
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He's referring to the guilt and emotional aspect, quite clearly...
 
_Hecate_ said:
Total different issue, nothing open about it. If the guy knew she's having affairs he'd probably insist on a divorce and more fathers would want paternity tests.
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Problem is so many people are hung up on their partners being "faithful", so most take the easy way out and don't discuss what it is they really want but just go out and explore on the sneak.
 
_Hecate_ said:
In that case I cannot see how it would be guilt free, unless the person has no respect or feelings for their husband/wife.
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Ever cheated? If guilt was a major contributing factor then it wouldn't be so prevalent. Most cheaters only feel guilt after being caught. They then transpose these feelings into guilt of the actions...
 
So far this thread has not had ONE reply from someone who is actually in a working, successful open relationship. (Nor am I, nor do I want to be)
IMO the concept looks good on paper but cannot go the distance.
I have a friend who introduced his wife to the concept of an open relationship, and for a while they had a real "Swinging time". Guess what.. HIS heart ended up being broken, because she fell for someone else, while he still loved her deeply. Now he regrets the whole misadventure..
 
Um, no one on a tech forum has commented on an off topic thread? Small sample group, no?

Okay: I am in a polyamorous marriage. I have been married for 9 years and my husband and I both have romantic relationships with other people. Everyone knows about the relationships and everyone knows each other. Honesty and communication are key. <url removed>. I got married because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband, but not without having other people in my life.

Also I am 31, as is my husband. My boyfriend is 29 and other members of the local poly group range from 25-60yrs, although most are under 45. The ZAPoly group was started by a woman. I started the CapeTownPoly group and we have mostly women as the driving force of the groups.

Ethical non-monogamy is something you might want to look into for other forms of open relationships.
 
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RAS


Quick question...

If one has multiple sex partners, is there ever time to reply to threads like these ?
 
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