Paying for Dates

ChilliGirl said:
I like a gentleman

& i like wearing a bra & being a gurl :D


(In business i can hold my own if I need to & have done so many times)
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I am a gentleman. I pay for things when its appropriate (although I do expect an offer to contribute when appropriate), I open car doors, stand back for woman at doorways, walk them to their car, all that stuff. It's sort of second nature.

But, really in a world where women hold their own in business its just token stuff. Woman are earners and dont stay at home and do the cleaning anymore. Pay for our own meal.
 
Nick333 said:
I am a gentleman. I pay for things when its appropriate (although I do expect an offer to contribute when appropriate), I open car doors, stand back for woman at doorways, walk them to their car, all that stuff. It's sort of second nature.

But, really in a world where women hold their own in business its just token stuff. Woman are earners and dont stay at home and do the cleaning anymore. Pay for our own meal.
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I run my own business & clean my home....

In my opinion that's a way for you to say thank you.
 
ChilliGirl said:
As you wish to see it ;)

I'm not fighting, I'm not mad, I'm just glad I have who I have in my life. :D


I still wouldn't offer to pay on a first, 2nd or 3rd date. Even now I don't pay when he takes me out :p
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I just mean there was no innuendo in my post. I'm not sure what you were on about in your reply. *shrugs
 
Mila said:
My current bf had to work for 8 months before he even got a kiss :)
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Damn you Mila! Blue Balls is one thing - but Blue Lips and tongue! :erm: :eek:

You must either really be a prize or he got some action on the side :p :D Just kidding :)

To weigh in on this debate (rather late)

Coffee on the first date - I'd pick up that tab, not even expect anything from the lass.
I would however be taking notes of her actions at "bill time" but it's no biggy.
A continuation of being stingy or not even attempting to ask to split the bill, could be something to frown upon and even may be something that doesn't have me calling back for a next date.

But hell, I've never been one for fancy restaurants. Or overly pricey anyway - I look for ambiance, good food and vibes at reasonable prices that won't have me breaking the bank.

I suppose on date 2 (or perhaps even later) one gets a feel for the other person and whether they'll cough up or not - but then I've already had to made up my mind about her or gotten an idea if this is someone I want to spend time with and get to know better.
The financial implications of dating are not my first consideration, it's whether she's worth dating and spending the dosh on - if she's the kind of girl that's independent enough to cough up or to suggest splitting bills - all the better.

But freeloaders won't do and you should've sussed them out - if dosh is the only issue Nick - then you're either cheap or you're just not vocalizing your expectations or just looking to get your ego stroked from the gal offering to pay and then you shutting down her proposal :)
 
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Mila, seriously, 8 months thats almost as hard to believe as Genesis.
 
/shrug
Sorry, Nick, seems I'm in the minority and you're screwed (but not in the good way)
 
Shake&Bake said:
But freeloaders won't do and you should've sussed them out - if dosh is the only issue Nick - then you're either cheap or you're just not vocalizing your expectations or just looking to get your ego stroked from the gal offering to pay and then you shutting down her proposal :)
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I've made it pretty clear dosh is not the issue at all. To be honest the ego stroking thing occurred to me too, but really the guy paying thing is part of the whole ritual and the girl offering to pay is part of the new ritual.
I'm certainly not upset by her not offering to pay I'm just wondering what, if anything, I should make of it.

To be fair to her she's probably just traditional and theres nothing wrong with that. I am very not traditional though, so thats possibly a problem right there. I really have nothing against this woman regardless of her reasons for not offering. I'm sure shes just as nice as she seemed.
 
Nick333 said:
I've made it pretty clear dosh is not the issue at all. To be honest the ego stroking thing occurred to me too, but really the guy paying thing is part of the whole ritual and the girl offering to pay is part of the new ritual.
I'm certainly not upset by her not offering to pay I'm just wondering what, if anything, I should make of it.

To be fair to her she's probably just traditional and theres nothing wrong with that. I am very not traditional though, so thats possibly a problem right there. I really have nothing against this woman regardless of her reasons for not offering. I'm sure shes just as nice as she seemed.
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Yeah, there are so many varying attitudes and expectations to this conundrum.
But hell, perhaps your approach or the way you ask her out to dinner or whatever should kind of lay the tone for what you're expecting.
"Would you like to go out and grab something to eat/pizza/fish-aways/spur?" opposed to "What are you doing Saturday night? Would you like to go on a date or escort me to a ball?" :D

The more informal your approach (this without knowing what your approach is/was) may have a her feeling that it's not a big deal and that you're meeting each other rather than dating.

Dating is such a kak word and term and always has me rather uncomfortable.
The one and only time I've ever used the word "date" is when I "drunk-dialed/messaged" a gal on Facebook and she actually offered to go dutch on a meal out.
And that was cool.

I think that there are plenty of females out there whom are more than willing to pay their own way - it's a fact.
Then there are freeloaders.
And then there are those that are just old fashioned, expectant or perhaps too uncomfortable to extract the conversation towards the cost of a meal/date.
^ the same goes for guys I'm sure.

At the end of the day - ***ken be upfront and then don't be disappointed, or at least get to know her and let her get to know you and then decide if she's worth pursuing or not.

Geez Dr. S&B?!?! :eek: where all this **** come from.
I hate being serious - I've got a rep to keep up man! :D
 
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I think after your first date its too soon to judge whether she is stingy. It was just coffee. Give her a call tomorrow and ask her to the cinema and suggest that you pay for the movie and she gets the snacks. Then note her reaction or response.
 
Mila said:
My current bf had to work for 8 months before he even got a kiss :)
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Seriously ?!?!?

On the 2nd date if nothing happened I would think she only wants to be friends. After the 3rd date and nothing I would have moved on, I have enough friends already :p
 
DigitalSoldier said:
Seriously ?!?!?

On the 2nd date if nothing happened I would think she only wants to be friends. After the 3rd date and nothing I would have moved on, I have enough friends already :p
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Fully brah!
8 months and not even a smack of the lips.:whistle:
Must be a member of a cult; catholic, amish or the saddest thing of all - been raised by good parents with wholesome values and been isolated from the joys of lust. :D

8 months is a looooong time - but heck, the guy must really love gingers :) Or rather just the one ;)

DigitalSoldier said:
lol, had to double check to make sure its you posting :p
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Know what I mean!?!?!?! :mad: :(
 
Shake&Bake said:
Fully brah!
8 months and not even a smack of the lips.:whistle:
Must be a member of a cult; catholic, amish or the saddest thing of all - been raised by good parents with wholesome values and been isolated from the joys of lust. :D
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Or he was posting on mybb asking for help.

Sent from my HTC Desire using MyBroadband Android App
 
I dont agree with letting the guy pay for the few first dates - just to see if he can afford me. In the first place, I would go on a date with someone that looks like a hobo, so there I already know he would be able to afford things. If I go on a date and he is a jerk, Ill make him pay - as I didnt enjoy my time - why should I pay. On the other hand, If its a nice guy Id offer to pay. However, if on the first date I offer to pay, and he accepts, Ill run to the hills because Im not going to date a penny pincher. I firmly believe that it shows a guys character, If I offer to pay, and he said no, he will take care of it, it shows some potential :)
 
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