Personal question, not sure what to name this thread.

Arthur said:
Bonus thought for every time you wank: by going through with this solitary auto-erotic act I am damaging my sexuality and my soul. Just this one time more further reinforces my increasing disconnection from real sex, real bodies and real love and inevitably makes it that much more difficult to claw my way back to health. Stop! Stop!! Stop!!! Go for a run/walk/shower - whatever sublimates. No more porn. Ever.

Bonus image for every time you wank: "I place myself at the foot of the Cross and gaze on that scourged and tortured body. He's in my place. Every pull of my hand scourges Him further. He takes it like a Man because He loves me."

Bonus: Steps to healing. Porn No More.
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Some strong crack you got there...
 
maumau said:
shouldn't this be in some religious/christain thread? sorry Arthur but your preaching (?) offends me far more than a bit of porn does.
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Is it the 'preaching' or the subject that offends you? If the preaching, how is this different from those advocating porn and masturbation, or saying it's OK/healthy (they are also making ethical/moral judgments, just different ones, surely)? If the subject, then all I can say is "same here". There is no proselytism on my part. No threat. No personal denigration. My answers are an honest and sincere reply to the thread-starter's genuine questions about the very vexing and important subject. The answers properly belong here, even through you might not agree (which you are entirely free to do). Trying to prevent my answers (which are overwhelmingly psychological and not religious) on the fatuous grounds that they belong under "religious" threads ... you might was well argue that the poster's questions belong under "natural sciences". I have always tried to keep my answers to the point and relevant. Millions of men struggle hugely with porn and masturbation - I am suggesting there is hope and a way back to health. The problem is so deeply embedded in our psyches that overcoming it requires the deepest resources we can draw on - much more than simply biology or even psychology.
 
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actually Arthur you're correct it's not the preaching it is the subject matter 'cos "...the foot of the cross ....... he loves me" is just so much twaddle to the "millions of men (who) struggle hugely with porn and masturbation" if they don't believe in "him". at this stage it's pure speculation that porn and masturbation are OP's problem. P.S. i don't mean to offend you!
 
Arthur said:
Is it the 'preaching' or the subject that offends you? If the preaching, how is this different from those advocating porn and masturbation, or saying it's OK/healthy (they are also making ethical/moral judgments, just different ones, surely)? If the subject, then all I can say is "same here". There is no proselytism on my part. No threat. No personal denigration. My answers are an honest and sincere reply to the thread-starter's genuine questions about the very vexing and important subject. The answers properly belong here, even through you might not agree (which you are entirely free to do). Trying to prevent my answers (which are overwhelmingly psychological and not religious) on the fatuous grounds that they belong under "religious" threads ... you might was well argue that the poster's questions belong under "natural sciences". I have always tried to keep my answers to the point and relevant. Millions of men struggle hugely with porn and masturbation - I am suggesting there is hope and a way back to health. The problem is so deeply embedded in our psyches that overcoming it requires the deepest resources we can draw on - much more than simply biology or even psychology.
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As a lifelong porn user and masturbater who is also by all accounts a good lover I call BS.

Like all those who are anti anything you take the worst case scenario mix in some pseudo-science and sell it as the inevitable scenario.

I have a healthy, satisfying, guilt and neurosis free sex life that includes pornography and masturbation thank you very much.

As someone who is supposedly so familiar with psychology why don't you rather spend some time on a bit of introspection ( read up on projection).
 
@Arthur

I actually think it is worse to have guilt associated with sexuality. I dont condone sleeping around or promiscuity, but I think people need to be comfortable with themselves.

People develop sexual hang ups very easily depending on how they are brought up. If they are taught when growing up that their private parts are dirty and that sex is yucky, and that touching themselves is sinful and evil, they will never have a fulfilling sex life as adults, even if they only have sex within marriage. Bad sex in marriage can and does lead to divorce. Partners are shamed by it but their upbringing makes it difficult to talk about or even admit there is a problem.

So yes, pushing it all under the rug and telling people its evil leads to higher divorce rates, IMHO.
 
Ancalagon said:
@Arthur

I actually think it is worse to have guilt associated with sexuality. I dont condone sleeping around or promiscuity, but I think people need to be comfortable with themselves.

People develop sexual hang ups very easily depending on how they are brought up. If they are taught when growing up that their private parts are dirty and that sex is yucky, and that touching themselves is sinful and evil, they will never have a fulfilling sex life as adults, even if they only have sex within marriage. Bad sex in marriage can and does lead to divorce. Partners are shamed by it but their upbringing makes it difficult to talk about or even admit there is a problem.

So yes, pushing it all under the rug and telling people its evil leads to higher divorce rates, IMHO.
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Of course I (largely) agree. Both my reason and my religion (Christianity) affirm that sex is a great good, that sexual parts are good, that sexual pleasure is good (after all, they are created by an all-good God). Bad family or social culture or bad religion can of course give people hang-ups that are not part of authentic religion or comport with the natural law. This is lamentable. However, the remedy to these and other ills is not to abandon right reason and slip into a priapic licentiousness. Both are perversions. The solution isn't a via media (halfway between), but an ordered and directed use of the sexual faculties. This includes the integration of the unitive and procreative dimensions of the conjugal act.
 
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I've choked my monkey or chicken or raccoon or whatever you call it every day since i started this thread. Today I stop, promise!:o
 
Arthur said:
Is it the 'preaching' or the subject that offends you? If the preaching, how is this different from those advocating porn and masturbation, or saying it's OK/healthy (they are also making ethical/moral judgments, just different ones, surely)? If the subject, then all I can say is "same here". There is no proselytism on my part. No threat. No personal denigration. My answers are an honest and sincere reply to the thread-starter's genuine questions about the very vexing and important subject. The answers properly belong here, even through you might not agree (which you are entirely free to do). Trying to prevent my answers (which are overwhelmingly psychological and not religious) on the fatuous grounds that they belong under "religious" threads ... you might was well argue that the poster's questions belong under "natural sciences". I have always tried to keep my answers to the point and relevant. Millions of men struggle hugely with porn and masturbation - I am suggesting there is hope and a way back to health. The problem is so deeply embedded in our psyches that overcoming it requires the deepest resources we can draw on - much more than simply biology or even psychology.
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I think you were hoping to post this in a forum where people actually believe this cr4p.
 
Arthur said:
There is no proselytism on my part. No threat. No personal denigration.
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Arthur said:
At some point you've got to man up and face the truth that wanking to a fantasy is soo unsatisfactory, so stupid. It comes from weakness, not strength. Because it is damaging it is wrong. The damage is psychological, at various levels. Damage can even be physical. It is most certainly spiritually destructive.

Time to stop. It's a hard battle. But it'll make a man of you.
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Since you think everyone is so stupid that you can lie and no one will notice we can add narcissism to a list of your disorders.

What we know about Arthur:

*He is a devout Christian
*He is a recovering porn addict
*He is disgusted by porn, masturbation and sex outside of marriage
*He is obsessed with the sexuality of others

I don't want to jump to any conclusions based on anecdotal evidence and I may be wrong, but he appears to have all the makings of a self-loathing, hypocritical, w@nker.
 
Nick333 said:
Since you think everyone is so stupid that you can lie and no one will notice we can add narcissism to a list of your disorders.

What we know about Arthur:

*He is a devout Christian
*He is a recovering porn addict
*He is disgusted by porn, masturbation and sex outside of marriage
*He is obsessed with the sexuality of others

I don't want to jump to any conclusions based on anecdotal evidence and I may be wrong, but he appears to have all the makings of a self-loathing, hypocritical, w@nker.
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Nice try, but no banana. Peculiar comments from a person who thinks Psychology is a pseudo-science, but that aside, here are the facts:
* I am a devout Christian. Not a good one, but trying to be and constantly failing. Christianity is very hard.
* I have never been a porn consumer or porn addict.
* I am not disgusted by porn, masturbastion or sex outside marriage - I am saddened by it and compassionate for those who don't know what they do to themselves and their relationships (much like I am for drug abusers). It's not sex that is ugly (it is very good), but rather its misuse and despoliation (like a beautiful picture of passage of music defaced and despoiled).
* I am not obsessed with the sexuality of others. I am intensely interested in all the elements that impinge on personal and social wellbeing, such as politics, economics, religion, sexuality, culture, philosophy, the Arts, literature, history, relationships, sport, sociology, anthropology, technology, and the like - as as evident from my posts on this and other forums. With Freud, I believe our views and actions around sex especially reveal our characters, and affect just about everything because sexuality is such an important aspect of our personalities. Get sex wrong, and just about everything else is contaminated (this is Freud, not religion).

In regards to your cheap-shot ad hominems (self-loathing, hypocritical w@nker) - I must have touched a nerve to provoke such a response from you, for which I am sorry. Here's the truth:
* I don't loathe myself or anyone else. We are all created in imago Dei and therefore beautiful and lovable despite our sins.
* Hypocritical. Get educated by finding out the real meaning of hypocrisy. I don't hold you or anyone else to a standard that I don't first apply to myself. I don't judge or condemn you or anyone else whilst exempting myself from those same standards.
* W@nker. By the grace of Almighty God (and immense personal effort) this is not a problem. But dealing with temptation in our highly sexualised culture is a daily battle.

By the way, I use my real name and don't hide behind an alias in a virtual world. I long ago decided to try to be one person with one identity. YOu can even see a mugshot in my profile. I relish living in the real world, not a fantasy. (Can you see the link between fantasy identity, fantasy sex and fantasy living?)
 
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its true:
u can have bad sex, but you cant have a bad w@nk lol!
 
When i w@nk, i don't w@nk to fantasy though. I find the w@nks much more enjoyable when I keep the thoughts realistic. TMI:wtf:
 
It's like tennis..."the wall can return the ball but it's still not an opponent" :D
 
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