Please help :( i dont know what to do anymore

[Stillie]

Positive. One word of advice Stillie (because the exact same thing happened to me). Please keep CLOSE tabs on any changes in your childs behaviour towards you. And I mean ANY.

My daughter requested the same thing during my divorce. Equal time with mom and dad. And it started waning. I attributed to exams / stress of the divorce etc. Until things got to a point where overnoght bmvirtually sbe wanted nothing to do with me.

Years later (6 months ago) I discovered that my ex had slowly fed her only one side of the story. Painting herself as an angel. And me as the spawn of satan.

Thing are getting back on track now. But it was a hard fought and heartbreaking 3 years for me.

thanks man, my (ex)wife would never do this, this i know but thanks for the headsup, i will keep an eye out for signs like this.

Appreciate it

 

[maumau]

Thanks for the update Stillie.

Happy to hear things are looking up for you and that you'll be seeing a lot of your daughter.

 

[ForceFate]

thanks man, my (ex)wife would never do this, this i know but thanks for the headsup, i will keep an eye out for signs like this.

Appreciate it

Don't rely on this. You're not emotionally attached anymore therefore, she may turn nasty

 

[Fuma]

Don't rely on this. You're not emotionally attached anymore therefore, she may turn nasty

This^^
If she realizes you are happy and moved on and she's not, she might turn nasty. There is no such thing as happy divorce.

 

[Stillie]

i get where u guys are all coming from and i dont think she will do this, but like i said, i will keep an eye out for it if it happens to happen

 

[SoulTax]

I was 10 when my parents got divorced. There was infidelity involved, one partner leaving another partner loads of debt, very bad blood. But they both tried to keep me out of it. But it got to a point of nastiness where they started bad mouthing each other. I turned around to each of them and said, "Keep your issues between you two, I want nothing to do with it, and if you keep trying to bad mouth the other person then I will have nothing to do with you."
My parents quickly stopped the bad mouthing around me. Perhaps it was easier because I was a bit older. But I think that it is important to get that message across to your kids in a divorce. That both of the parents promise to not drag the kids into the drama, and any parent that does should be reprimanded by the child. Make the children understand from the get go that both parents agree to be civil, which includes not bad mouthing.

I was lucky in that I had a very "mature" upbringing. My family always treated me as an adult where possible. Spoke to me as one and allowed me to understand adult themes without shielding me too much. So by the time I was 10, telling my parents off was not the same as back-chatting my parents. And everyone understood the difference.

Stillie, it sounds like you have a very grown up little girl there, so hopefully it would go down the same way with her. But keep an eye out as has been said. Sometimes the kids in a divorce are putting on a brave face, but are really confused inside, and that confusion can lead to being manipulated very easily if someone chooses to.