Please help :( i dont know what to do anymore

wrinklyo said:
Sorry to hear you guys are separating, but it's never too late to fix it. What made you two fall in love in the first place?
To make a marriage really work you have to have 100% commitment from your side, be prepared to give up your dreams, your career, your happiness and if necessary your life. I've been married for 32 years and been through the mill. You have to put her first, before yourself, and win her back. My wife is now my best friend, my kids are happy, so the grind was all worth it. It's pure hell for awhile, but it gets better. That's my 2 cents worth.
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Today we live in a microwave society, this kind of mindset is sadly fading away.
 
wrinklyo said:
Sorry to hear you guys are separating, but it's never too late to fix it. What made you two fall in love in the first place?
To make a marriage really work you have to have 100% commitment from your side, be prepared to give up your dreams, your career, your happiness and if necessary your life. I've been married for 32 years and been through the mill. You have to put her first, before yourself, and win her back. My wife is now my best friend, my kids are happy, so the grind was all worth it. It's pure hell for awhile, but it gets better. That's my 2 cents worth.
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Read the thread and allow stillie to move on.
 
wrinklyo said:
Sorry to hear you guys are separating, but it's never too late to fix it. What made you two fall in love in the first place?
To make a marriage really work you have to have 100% commitment from your side, be prepared to give up your dreams, your career, your happiness and if necessary your life. I've been married for 32 years and been through the mill. You have to put her first, before yourself, and win her back. My wife is now my best friend, my kids are happy, so the grind was all worth it. It's pure hell for awhile, but it gets better. That's my 2 cents worth.
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The 1800's called. They want you back :whistle:
 
ShaunSA said:
The 1800's called. They want you back :whistle:
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lol! some of the things i agree with, but sadly i think we just grown apart and we arent as happy as we could be so its time to move on and for us to find happiness somewhere else. Never know maybe things will change in the future but i am not keeping my hopes up for us getting back together
 
Strongs Stillie. Lean on your friends. Enjoy a whiskey. Get back in the game.
 
Ho3n3r said:
Ironically, requesting everything in writing will achieve the nasty part much quicker.
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@Stillie, the advice about getting everything in writing is a sound one, but you've got to make her think it's her idea. I can't remember who said it, but women, sheesh, they can be a bit crazy...
 
D3nz said:
@Stillie, the advice about getting everything in writing is a sound one, but you've got to make her think it's her idea. I can't remember who said it, but women, sheesh, they can be a bit crazy...
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This one speaks the truth. ^

If you dont make her suggest it, she will try to see the Devil in every detail on that piece of paper, and the divorce will go from 0 to nasty in 0.5 seconds.
 
If the lady suddenly warms up to the co- worker seeking "moral support" we know what caused the split.

Im sorry to say that after the mutual split, the light innocent flirt will now be escalated into no holds barred rumping, pumping and sucking.

All the best stillie. It happens and you just have to move on.

Strongs.
 
WaxLyrical said:
If the lady suddenly warms up to the co- worker seeking "moral support" we know what caused the split.

Im sorry to say that after the mutual split, the light innocent flirt will now be escalated into no holds barred rumping, pumping and sucking.

All the best stillie. It happens and you just have to move on.

Strongs.
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well that happens and will most likely happen with me with randoms :crylaugh:
 
Stillie said:
Her reason for needing the space is that she wants to figure things out and be alone. We have been together since she was 16 and i was 18 and she said: i just sat one day and thought about how tied down ive been for so long and what it would feel like to be on my own. Then i started getting unhappy coz i wanted to know."
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Hey, I know this and have been there in something very similar.
Take note on the single most important thing here.
You have not changed. You have been faithful. This is in no way your fault, from what I can read you're an upstanding BoyF/Husband who takes his responsibilities seriously.

She has changed and needs to own up to it.

Stillie said:
I seriously have the feeling this is it, we are over, she just hasnt come to the realisation.
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Yes it is. She needs to move out as you are not the one causing the split. She may turn around and point out a lot of things that are "wrong" with you, but the bottom line is she has changed and she is seeking attention elsewhere because she feels she "missed out" on her teens years becaus eyou guys were already an item then.
It is literally her issue that she needs to deal with.

Because she's the one to be causing the split, she should be moving away... not you. She needs to adult up and realize that her life as she knows it with you is over and she needs to move out.
Continue to take care of yourself and her daughter.

For your own benefit, if you truly believe she's the one. You can leave the backdoor open after she has finished jolling around to return to the family.
However, get the divorce first because that's the consequence on being able to morally screw around. She can't remain married to you AND have a stukkie on the side. She should own up to that and see it as part of the consequences of the path she has chosen to walk.

I truly hope you don't have to go to court over this, but just in case. Get evidence and force the consequences on her if she does not adult up about it.
 
Hi all,

Sorry to bring up an old thread, just wanted to inform you guys as to whats happening.

A couple months ago we eventually called it quits and this weekend, she is moving into her own place, i'm moving in with friends for a couple months to squash debt then will find my own place. Once we have moved out (starting next week most likely) we will start the divorce process.

Me as a person, i'm doing well, have a really good support system of friends and family that have helped me through this, it has been hard and there was a point where, i tried to call it "quits", that was my lowest low that i have ever been, but things are going really well for me.

Im excited for the future.

When we sat my daughter down to explain whats happening, she did something truly unexpected which means we have done something right. She asked if daddy can pick her up from school in the afternoons and my (ex)wife drops her off in the morning. This will allow me to spend some time with her daily. That just caused all the dust in the room to flood into my eyes. :cry: this was not something we had thought about and my beautiful 7 year old daughter thought about this.

So things are going well for me, my (ex)wife found a place, she is moving in on Monday, she nearly found a car, hopefully by the end of the week she will have her own car.

So yea thats whats happening and i am happy for the future, things are looking up and I'm excited :)
 
Stillie said:
When we sat my daughter down to explain whats happening, she did something truly unexpected which means we have done something right. She asked if daddy can pick her up from school in the afternoons and my (ex)wife drops her off in the morning. This will allow me to spend some time with her daily. That just caused all the dust in the room to flood into my eyes. :cry: this was not something we had thought about and my beautiful 7 year old daughter thought about this.
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Wow, this is so beautiful. Strength brother, it's so great to know your daughter loves you very much!
 
Thanks for the update! Stay strong bud!! I've heard many examples where a spouses relationship with her/his children actually improved post divorce! You'll never take time with your daughter for granted and vice versa. Keep things civil and amicable and come out with your integrity and dignity in tact.
 
Stillie said:
/nipslip
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Very glad to hear you're in a better space and doing okay man. Always hard with a child involved, but hard on you individually too. If you need any help just shout, Ill be there.
 
Positive. One word of advice Stillie (because the exact same thing happened to me). Please keep CLOSE tabs on any changes in your childs behaviour towards you. And I mean ANY.

My daughter requested the same thing during my divorce. Equal time with mom and dad. And it started waning. I attributed to exams / stress of the divorce etc. Until things got to a point where overnight virtually she wanted nothing to do with me.

Years later (6 months ago) I discovered that my ex had slowly fed her only one side of the story. Painting herself as an angel. And me as the spawn of satan.

Thing are getting back on track now. But it was a hard fought and heartbreaking 3 years for me.
 
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