Relationship Dilema

AcidRaZor said:
Intellectually you know that, but why did you ask her to move in then?
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She looked at me with those puppy eyes, I just wanted her to NOT cry. Stupid I know but so be it.

Ænema said:
D-amn! :eek:

This makes me realize how boring and normal my life is...thank goodness!
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I would give anything for some of that boring life. Well maybe not. I had it for my entire marriage. Life should be more than just settling or am I wrong?
 
So you screwed your wife around, then you do the same with G and then you proceed and do the same with L?

Did i get this... you do know that even if you get L she will always know that you are a cheater and doubt you?

Or maybe she likes when you are unavailable, she did only want you back when you committed to someone else, sounds like you are her back up screw too.

She knows your colours, she will never trust you.

But maybe she likes your pay check, :rolleyes:so she might stick around till a better one comes around.
 
bex.cpt said:
She looked at me with those puppy eyes, I just wanted her to NOT cry. Stupid I know but so be it.
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Inevitably, this is what is going to happen. Sooner or later. With or without Lady L.

Why even suggest to commit FURTHER into a relationship you're trying to break off? Just to not see her cry? Is she 5? Did you take her favorite toy away because she was being naughty and gave it back immediately when you saw waterworks PLUS some ice cream PLUS a brand new Audi just because you didn't want to see her cry?

I will seriously PK you if I see you in hopes of scrambling some kind of braincell into the right direction.

Remember, just because you can debate about this intellectually doesn't mean you're intellectual (I'm far from it myself)

But why commit further by saying you would like to move in with her??? (nb my example of the 5yo above)

... seriously dude. If you didn't want to see her cry then just take back what you started saying? Instead, given your track record, I won't be surprised if you ask her to marry you next time you attempt to break up with her. Why raise the stakes each time?!?!?
 
bex.cpt said:
She looked at me with those puppy eyes, I just wanted her to NOT cry. Stupid I know but so be it.



I would give anything for some of that boring life. Well maybe not. I had it for my entire marriage. Life should be more than just settling or am I wrong?
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No, you are not wrong in wanting an exciting existence. You need to realize though, that in your efforts to fulfil your own wants and desires, you leave in your wake battered and broken, those that did not meet your requirements. You, however, will move on again to capture the illusive something or someone that you are in search of and may never find.
 
So how do you afford all these women?
Dating is one chick costs enough money.
And where the hell do you get the time? You dating 2 a day?

You're a cheat and so are the women you're dating, so these relationships are doomed anyway.
 
Fact: Girls will cry when boys break up with them
Fact: Boys will cry when girls break up with them
Fact: It hurts breaking up

Why prolong the inevitable??? Someone reading this thread with no experience whatsoever or looking for advice on "letting them down easy"

This is how:

Tell them. Break up. Move on.

Stringing them along, telling them half-truths. Making them doubt and wonder is NOT the way forward! It causes more pain than you ever can imagine. Get to the point. Do it. If they cry it's because they hurt. No matter when you do it, it will hurt, so crying is going to happen. Accept that.

Also, you don't have to think of elaborate reasons "WHY". Be honest. "I don't love you anymore and feel it's unfair towards you to keep you in something that will eventually hurt you more than it would right now"

I've had women string me a long because "I was so nice and nothing was wrong with me". If they just broke up with me saying they didn't love me anymore I would've been fine with it. Instead, they... nevermind... you all know what I'm talking about.

Get over yourself. Please. Just tell her and do it quick. In your case, SMS or Email just to get it over with. Because seriously... WTF
 
Mila said:
So you screwed your wife around, then you do the same with G and then you proceed and do the same with L?

Did i get this... you do know that even if you get L she will always know that you are a cheater and doubt you?

Or maybe she likes when you are unavailable, she did only want you back when you committed to someone else, sounds like you are her back up screw too.

She knows your colours, she will never trust you.

But maybe she likes your pay check, :rolleyes:so she might stick around till a better one comes around.
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Not likely I am as broke as a church mouse

AcidRaZor said:
Inevitably, this is what is going to happen. Sooner or later. With or without Lady L.

Why even suggest to commit FURTHER into a relationship you're trying to break off? Just to not see her cry? Is she 5? Did you take her favorite toy away because she was being naughty and gave it back immediately when you saw waterworks PLUS some ice cream PLUS a brand new Audi just because you didn't want to see her cry?

I will seriously PK you if I see you in hopes of scrambling some kind of braincell into the right direction.

Remember, just because you can debate about this intellectually doesn't mean you're intellectual (I'm far from it myself)

But why commit further by saying you would like to move in with her??? (nb my example of the 5yo above)

... seriously dude. If you didn't want to see her cry then just take back what you started saying? Instead, given your track record, I won't be surprised if you ask her to marry you next time you attempt to break up with her. Why raise the stakes each time?!?!?
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Not sure what that means but if it is what I think it is. Go ahead it might just work :D

Seriously I get what you are saying. You are right.

Cause that is what SHE wants.
 
If you want to break up with her but don't want to see her cry, just drop her an email:

Hey Girl

Listen, I don't think things are going to work out. I'm just super busy, it's not you it's me.

Have a great day
Bex.cpt
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Sorry, that was terrible advice, it's just there really isn't an easy way out of this...:(
 
Kaufies said:
Sorry, that was terrible advice, it's just there really isn't an easy way out of this...:(
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Yep. There was an easy way to avoid getting into this mess, but now that you're in it there's no easy way out.
 
AcidRaZor said:
Also, you don't have to think of elaborate reasons "WHY". Be honest. "I don't love you anymore and feel it's unfair towards you to keep you in something that will eventually hurt you more than it would right now"

I've had women string me a long because "I was so nice and nothing was wrong with me". If they just broke up with me saying they didn't love me anymore I would've been fine with it. Instead, they... nevermind... you all know what I'm talking about.

Get over yourself. Please. Just tell her and do it quick. In your case, SMS or Email just to get it over with. Because seriously... WTF
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I think what you are failing to read into all of this is that, although the OP has verbalised that he definitely does not want G but wants L, subconsciously he is obviously not so sure about it....

He has feelings for both parties. Either that, or as stated, he wants to have his cake and eat it by not messing his chances with either one. He is fearful if things with L fail, which it seems may be a possibility, if he has hurt G he will have lost her too.
 
Leave them both and get your own head right first. You're in no position to make anyone happy. The best thing you can do is see a psychologist. Neither of these relationships are going to work out and if one is meant to be then it will happen but fix yourself up FIRST. x2 on Attachment disorder.

Do you have any close guy friends who can advise you? Give the women a break and if you won't get therapy then get honest with your close friends who won't just tell you what you want to hear.
 
Sensorei said:
Leave them both and get your own head right first. You're in no position to make anyone happy. The best thing you can do is see a psychologist. Neither of these relationships are going to work out and if one is meant to be then it will happen but fix yourself up FIRST. x2 on Attachment disorder.

Do you have any close guy friends who can advise you? Give the women a break and if you won't get therapy then get honest with your close friends who won't just tell you what you want to hear.
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Not really in my culture. We drink and cry about our issue hoping that when we recover everything will be better :D (a Cape Flats thing :p)

Thanks I will do just that.
 
Bex ou boet ... It's time you start thinking with the right head. Sorry to say it. :/

Give women a lower priority in your life and get yourself sorted 1st.
 
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