Becasue you never tried to buttbang her before you were married, you failed to set the basic criteria of your sexlife going forward. You are now going to starve anally, for loss of a better term, unless you try this: Tell her you are into backdoor, both ways. And that this is fundamentally you. You require this once a month as a start, reciprocation included, which may increase in frequency up to twice per month, reciprocation included. One of 2 things will happen. Either she will reverse up and open her choco starfish, or she will call you a perv and dump you. If she says no and still wants to stay with you, well then i am sorry you will have to purchase backdoor elswhere. just cover your tracks.