Sexual performance anxiety

[PerfAnx]

I would not suggest viagra for someone who has no physical issue, it's use is mostly for people who literally cannot get it up, whether high/drunk or because they have a medical issue. Mental blocks need to cleared by person who are trying to sleep with. You do need stop thinking about it so much when you are in the situation, the more you think about the more anxiety you get the worse it will become. You need this new girl to do what your g/f did and pull you through it.

His issue is mental and sadly it comes down to the girl, she needs to be reassuring and relax you, if she doesn't you will struggle and don't use viagra because it will become you have to use and you don't need to. You need to explain to her the situation, relax but she also needs to do things that make you relax. You managed to get it right with your ex so i assuming she was reassuring and she did something to help you.

I explained it to her, and like I mentioned she is really understanding, the bolded parts is almost exactly the advice she gave me, but for the life of me, the more I tell myself not to think about it and to just relax, the more I seem to think about it

With the previous girl the anxiety and fear never came to this high point, the first time I got over it because it wasn't as bad, this time round it feels much much worse...Thanks for your input though

 

[akescpt]

hahaha pics 1st so we can see the issue
he needs to maybe think of some other lady haha

how will seeing him bone-less help solve this issue. such a vouyer sammy....

 

[killadoob]

I explained it to her, and like I mentioned she is really understanding, the bolded parts is almost exactly the advice she gave me, but for the life of me, the more I tell myself not to think about it and to just relax, the more I seem to think about it

With the previous girl the anxiety and fear never came to this high point, the first time I got over it because it wasn't as bad, this time round it feels much much worse...Thanks for your input though

Yea but you need to go into it with the right frame of mind, go in thinking you are the most amazing sexual beast on the planet and you are going to pleasure this girl without doubt!!!!!! Think like an arrogant **** because if you think you are going to bone this girl so broken she will crave more that is exactly what you will do. Once you start to think about the last time or the last 4 times it's over but again this is down to her as well. She needs to say ok hold on, then start relaxing you, perhaps suck your willy for a bit and show she is ok with it and she is trying to help you push past the mental block. If you give up once the anxiety has set in you won't get over it. Most confident people having no issues banging any chick at any point because mentally they are not worried about anything. Easy to say obviously. You need to sort it out or find a way to sort out the next time it happens, don't give up mentally and your new g/f needs to start performing a bit. She needs to let you see how badly she wants it and what she is willing to do to get it I know it sounds stupid.

She needs to give you the confidence that you will perform and she really wants you to.

 

[PerfAnx]

use a blindfold or bang her with the lights off

We've seen each other completly naked more than once, its not a problem of I'm embarrassed with my body, its a problem of feeling embarrassed when I lose wood

Pix or ... erm ... it's not true? :erm:

well, at least pix of the new GF ... maybe she's the problem.

hahaha pics 1st so we can see the issue

he needs to maybe think of some other lady haha

Nah man, its not that she's the problem, on the contrary, if it was some but ugly girl I most probably would’ve been worried way less of what she thinks about my "problem”

 

[I.am.Sam]

We've seen each other completly naked more than once, its not a problem of I'm embarrassed with my body, its a problem of feeling embarrassed when I lose wood

Nah man, its not that she's the problem, on the contrary, if it was some but ugly girl I most probably would’ve been worried way less of what she thinks about my "problem”

no one said anything about your body

maybe your body dont like her body but your mind says stay

and akes ..pics of the girl ..get your mind out the gutter ...thought you married to a lady

 

[kokzn]

Any one mentioned alcohol already?
Get drunk together, and bang. You don't have to drink every time you have sex though, just once to get over the initial anxiety.

 

[killadoob]

Any one mentioned alcohol already?
Get drunk together, and bang. You don't have to drink every time you have sex though, just once to get over the initial anxiety.

the worst possible thing he can do right now is use something like drugs to nail her once, then it will turn into having to use that aid to nail her next time and he will now be faced needing a certain substance to have sex with her when he is perfectly capable of it without drugs.

All in the mind bro, drugs are not the answer to this. Work on getting your mind right and she may not know how to help you which means you are on your own. Mentally you need to think you are better than her and she should be thankful to be in your bed or in bed with you. Don't have that attitude but think like that, just get past the hurdle and do it using the power of your mind if she doesn't know how to help when it happens.

You could look into sex games, that is fun, relaxing and you don't need to focus on her the whole the time.

 

[Sinbad]

More foreplay! make her orgasm before you even think about penetration. And then make her cum again. Get lost in the moment, and see what happens.

 

[R13...]

Doubt I'm going to get perscription for viagra, isn't viagra for someone who actually never manages to get a boner, this is psychological, but I'm willing to try anything

Yes that's why I suggest killa, he's a bit of a dealer in the unofficial sense. The Viagra is so that once its up it does flop when you get anxious. I think.

 

[SauRoNZA]

Go see Dr Eve.

 

[wetkit]

I have to agree with Sinbad here.
Why not just rub her pinky with your floppy untill the stiffy gets back up to speed

Would be interesting to find out what is causing all the anxity?
Small monster? Early out of the blocks? Bad BO? Afraid the sex might not be good???

 

[PerfAnx]

Yea but you need to go into it with the right frame of mind, go in thinking you are the most amazing sexual beast on the planet and you are going to pleasure this girl without doubt!!!!!! Think like an arrogant **** because if you think you are going to bone this girl so broken she will crave more that is exactly what you will do. Once you start to think about the last time or the last 4 times it's over but again this is down to her as well. She needs to say ok hold on, then start relaxing you, perhaps suck your willy for a bit and show she is ok with it and she is trying to help you push past the mental block. If you give up once the anxiety has set in you won't get over it. Most confident people having no issues banging any chick at any point because mentally they are not worried about anything. Easy to say obviously. You need to sort it out or find a way to sort out the next time it happens, don't give up mentally and your new g/f needs to start performing a bit. She needs to let you see how badly she wants it and what she is willing to do to get it I know it sounds stupid.

She needs to give you the confidence that you will perform and she really wants you to.

Thanks for this, going to try this approach, the one thing I've been doing as soon as the fear kicks in, is to give up, thinking about it now, I'll have to overcome it, by actually getting through it, trying to avoid the nerves all together is going to be hard (no pun intented)

As for expecting her to give me confidence, I'm just scared she tries and fails, and then she's going to end up feeling stupid because se couldn't turn me on:erm:

 

[Redeemed]

Was the break-up with your ex acrimonious? Maybe she hexed you.

 

[PerfAnx]

I have to agree with Sinbad here.
Why not just rub her pinky with your floppy untill the stiffy gets back up to speed

Would be interesting to find out what is causing all the anxity?
Small monster? Early out of the blocks? Bad BO? Afraid the sex might not be good???

LOL to the bolded part

And no its got nothing to do with size, or premature ejaculation...The feeling I get when I lose wood is really embarrassing , so the anxiety is created because I don't want to experience that feeling, **** dunno if that makes sense

 

[ClintZA]

Thanks for this, going to try this approach, the one thing I've been doing as soon as the fear kicks in, is to give up...

Selfish male! Why not focus on her for a bit. While you are down there busy it will take the focus off you and you may find things will happen.... you could even help them along without her attention making your nervous.

 

[R13...]

LOL to the bolded part

And no its got nothing to do with size, or premature ejaculation...The feeling I get when I lose wood is really embarrassing , so the anxiety is created because I don't want to experience that feeling, **** dunno if that makes sense

Maybe you need to get a bit tipsy. Or get some kind of high.

 

[PerfAnx]

Selfish male! Why not focus on her for a bit. While you are down there busy it will take the focus off you and you may find things will happen.... you could even help them along without her attention making your nervous.

The last time it happened, I went down on her afterwards (because by then she must've been very frustrated with never climaxing) she ended up climaxing sooner than expected, so I kinda didn't get back into it again...FML

 

[Sinbad]

The last time it happened, I went down on her afterwards (because by then she must've been very frustrated with never climaxing) she ended up climaxing sooner than expected, so I kinda didn't get back into it again...FML

WTF? Don't stop ... never heard that women can have multiple orgasms?

 

[Totempole]

Based on the OP's writing style, I think it's pretty obvious who this was written by. He's
been a member of this forum for many years, but I don't know him personally... Or at all
for that matter.

I may be wrong, since this person's writing style tends to vary a bit, but I'm pretty sure
I'm not.

 

[PerfAnx]

WTF? Don't stop ... never heard that women can have multiple orgasms?

Yeah okay should've worded that a bit different, remember that the aftermath is accompanied by a really ****ty/useless feeling, so by the time she climaxed and nothing happened yet down south I was kind of out of motivation, and at least she had a orgasm to show for it this time, but yeah you're right, I just have to keep going