She is not the one.

PythonFSi said:
and you thought you'd give him a hand! :p
Click to expand...

If by hand you mean a push over the railings - then yes.

@anon - Just do it you woman. You have already decided, stop using this forum to get people to morally justify it. We won't.
 
Anon_ said:
However its not like i will dissapear out of my child`s life.
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Well you're not going to make it easier on the child growing up when the parents are split up and seeing other people.

You brought the kid into the world, now take responsibility and make it work. It's too late now to be looking for romance when there are more important responsibilities. You had the chance to look for romance prior to knocking her up, but that's gone now :)
 
Anon_ said:
However as we are all humans , we all make mistakes.
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its this kind of half hearted bull that has got society into its current position. yes you made a mistake, man up and face the consequences, you're in it for the long haul, you screwed your life up by making the wrong decision but now don't screw up the life of your child by leaving it without a father.

finish and klaar :mad:

/rant
 
Anon_ said:
I understand where you coming from.
However as we are all humans , we all make mistakes.

However its not like i will dissapear out of my child`s life.
And the idea of person A isnt an idea. We know each other very well and have throughout the years. We just didnt know until recently that we both still felt the same still. We didnt talk about it at all until recently again.
So not to use an excuse but i settled for lady "B" in the end because i didnt know "A" still felt like we were meant to be.

Loving the child as i do and also not wanting to hurt "B" is the reason i still pretend to "B" that she is the one.
However i can feel the lies tearing me up inside.
How much longer can i pretend... i really dont know.
Who am i fooling in the end and at what cost ?
Click to expand...

Lol

On Saturday I met an ex from standard 7!! Almost 10 years later and we were still quite into eachother... we never swapped numbers and im fighting the urge to search for her on FB.
Things will and are not the same as they were in the past. You got to move on!:)
I also think that baby blues theory Datura suggested might be true.
 
Anon_ said:
Im in a bit of a mess at the moment.
About 10 years ago i fell in love with someone (not my current lady - so we will her lady "A"). We couldnt be together because of certain circumstances.
We saw each other over the years here and there but never got together romantically again.
After more then 8 years together (not married yet) and a child, i have realised that my current lady (lady "B") is not the one and that my heart still belongs to lady "A".
However me and lady B have a child together and we dont make a bad couple.
I see her more as a friend now than a spouse.
She just never has and my heart tells me , never will be the one.
The child makes things complicated though as i love the child dearly (less than 6 months old).
Lady A knows about lady B and our relationship and baby etc.
No one except me and lady A knows about our (me and "A"`s relationship).

Okay thats the nutshell version.
My heart tells me that i will forever life in regret if i dont end it with "B" and just carry on pretending she is the one for the sake of the child and never be happy for myself. (she "B" thinks she is my one).
We dont have a lot of fights and good friends to each other.
My mind tells me that rather the devil you know than the devil you dont.
My questions for advice..
Do i forget about "A" and continue my life with "B" facing the fact that i have signed my fate with someone that is my friend but never my soulmate ?
I need advice.

"B" is really an awesome person and very good hearted and its not like we are not getting along as a couple , its just i dont see her as my soul mate , i see her as a friend.
How do i tell her she has never been the one but it only took me 8 years to know that.

Seriously need some advice.
Click to expand...

I am in a similar position well without the child tho. I am seeing my ex gf after the woman I love and I broke up because of circumstances beyond my control. Now the person I am seeing now is a great person BUT not the one that has my heart. So I feel you pain mate. No real advice cause I am in the same boat.

:(
 
Dude, if lady A was the one, you would have worked through your problems. Take a good look at the mirror, then imagine yourself after 2 weeks after you told lady B about lady A. Then ask yourself if you can live with that person in the mirror.
 
bit of derailage here, anyone remember the movie Idiocracy, where the dumb people "breed" faster than the more educated and eventually over run the world, whenever i read these things this just pops into my head.
 
hoegh said:
its this kind of half hearted bull that has got society into its current position. yes you made a mistake, man up and face the consequences, you're in it for the long haul, you screwed your life up by making the wrong decision but now don't screw up the life of your child by leaving it without a father.

finish and klaar :mad:

/rant
Click to expand...

I would stay his father and help care for him forsure.
Im not planning on just leaving if i do leave.
Do you wanna tell me every child who has had his parents break up ends up screwed for life?
 
bex.cpt said:
I am in a similar position well without the child tho. I am seeing my ex gf after the woman I love and I broke up because of circumstances beyond my control. Now the person I am seeing now is a great person BUT not the one that has my heart. So I feel you pain mate. No real advice cause I am in the same boat.

:(
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Break up with your current gf, nothing worse for a girl than living a lie, or so I heard.

@OP, not you, you already messed up to much
 
I was thinking along the same lines. So was pronstar. Which is why he mentioned the vasectomy.
 
hoegh said:
bit of derailage here, anyone remember the movie Idiocracy, where the dumb people "breed" faster than the more educated and eventually over run the world, whenever i read these things this just pops into my head.
Click to expand...

Wow you must be perfect :0
How does it feel to have never made a mistake in your life?
 
Anon_ said:
Wow you must be perfect :0
How does it feel to have never made a mistake in your life?
Click to expand...

It's not about making mistakes :rolleyes:

It's about having the stones to face the consequences... oi vey, some people... and I use the word people lightly.
 
Stop thinking about your self and consider the other people in your life.

Does "A" even want a relationship with you ?

Don't give up something good for a life that might be, accept the concequences of your actions and live with it.
 
As you made your bed - so you must lie in it.

Also ... what davemc said.

Do yourself a favour and whenever you're thinking of Lady_A, have a fap and jump back to reality. Your kid is your entire life now.
 
Idiocracy - fantastic movie. One of the best ever made...

OP: APAPOP

But, if that is not enough, then consider the real future. I for one do not subscribe to this idea that a father and mother must stick it out for the kids. Before my daughter's 2nd birthday, her mother and I had long broken up and I started seeing the person I would eventually marry.

That marraige was not without its serious ups and downs. Lots of the kind of thing you are hinting at, in fact. But, when the time came, when my new wife and I split, the realisation came for both of us: s/he was the one, and now we've fscked it up.

It took another 3 months to fix it up though - to get back on track, albeit with new rules and new understandings. Sometimes, those rules still get bent a little and those understandings are sometimes forgotten, but we remain on track, counting our stars that we were able to get things fixed.

We were lucky, in a sense. You may not be, especially when you or A starts to remember why you split in the first place...
 
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