Single and happy?

[wishblade]

Dear miss Kitten,

Wishblade makes a valid point ... and as AvatarS was getting to, if you can't
make yourself happy, how fair would it be to expect someone else to make you happy - and how can you enjoy being with someone who doesn't enjoy their own company? It would be smothering.

The way I've always understood it - and I believe this addresses one of the problems of the fear of being alone and/or being controlled:

A relationship should not be based on need, but rather affinity. You shouldn't NEED someone in your life - you should WANT them. The moment you rely on something/someone, you become enslaved.

Example: I don't WANT my job, but I NEED it. Would a waiter be as courteous and humbling to you, the paying customer, in his personal capacity? Hell no, he is doing it against his own will based on the necessity of money. Get the idea?

And that says the entirety of the basis of a relationship, which I believe is also, in addition to this, made up from trust and communication.
Thanks Voicy for communicating what I was trying to get at!!!

 

[wishblade]

Hey hey. I'm on the West Rand. And no we don't have many friends- the g/f and I are still looking to build up our friend basis here (we sort of just moved here)...

 

[Handz]

"But then again my female friends treat me as their "gay best friend" "

Thats usually my role...even though i am straight im like one of the girls...lol...thats sounds...wrong

 

[Kitten]

Hey hey. I'm on the West Rand. And no we don't have many friends- the g/f and I are still looking to build up our friend basis here (we sort of just moved here)...

If you ever find a way of doing that, let me know the secret

 

[blunomore]

It's so weird to see girls act promiscuous like that

I don't even like the idea of no strings attached. But then again my female friends treat me as their "gay best friend"

"But then again my female friends treat me as their "gay best friend" "

Thats usually my role...even though i am straight im like one of the girls...lol...thats sounds...wrong

So you two guys are good to go to for fashion advice?

 

[Pitbull]

Hey hey. I'm on the West Rand. And no we don't have many friends- the g/f and I are still looking to build up our friend basis here (we sort of just moved here)...

If you ever find a way of doing that, let me know the secret

Easy, you invite allot of people to a braai in your area. I mean here we're 3 people already. I know of more in and around this area on MyBB alone.

 

[Handz]

lol fashion advice...could give it a shot but dont expect to expand your friend circle based of my fashion sense

 

[AvatarS]

Hey hey. I'm on the West Rand. And no we don't have many friends- the g/f and I are still looking to build up our friend basis here (we sort of just moved here)...

http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php?t=162923

 

[killadoob]

Braai at kitten's place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Voicy]

So you two guys are good to go to for fashion advice?

I've already told my female friends I refuse to go shopping with them. I could never be gay as my dress sense is FAR TOO BAD.

I shop at Mr Price anyway. (Maybe that's why I'm still single )

In short, we are intellectual whores. The kind of guy a girl goes to in order to dumb all their emotional baggage, since the homeless biker jock couldn't be arsed to stay and cuddle.

 

[Oculate]

http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php?t=162923

+1

 

[Oculate]

In short, we are intellectual whores. The kind of guy a girl goes to in order to dumb all their emotional baggage, since the homeless biker jock couldn't be arsed to stay and cuddle.

Gotta agree with you there Voicyboi.. didnt think/want there was a term for it

 

[Voicy]

Gotta agree with you there Voicyboi.. didnt think/want there was a term for it

Yep: "Intellectual Whore"

Ladder theory suggests that a man who attempts to appeal to a woman through intellectual stimulation or entertainment runs the risk of, rather than becoming or replacing the woman's sexual partner, becoming what Allen satirically depicts as an "intellectual whore" -- someone sought out solely for their intellect, with no interest on the part of the woman in broadening the relationship to other dimensions.

Ladder theory asserts that there is less stigma attached to a woman maintaining platonic friendships with other men outside her primary sexual relationship than the reverse, due to the perceived separation of relationship values on the "ladders", and that this entails a certain degree of hypocrisy -- women are given latitude to maintain multiple relationships to satisfy all their social needs, while men are expected to find satisfaction for all their social needs in a single relationship only.

 

[AvatarS]

I've already told my female friends I refuse to go shopping with them. I could never be gay as my dress sense is FAR TOO BAD.

Misconception!
I know straight guys who dress incredibly well. And who I could drag along shopping as they have really good taste.
I also have a really good gay friend who's shopping assitance I would never ever ask.

 

[Voicy]

Misconception!
I know straight guys who dress incredibly well. And who I could drag along shopping as they have really good taste.
I also have a really good gay friend who's shopping assistance I would never ever ask.

Hehe, once again you caught me generalizing

You know what? I actually couldn't be bothered what the okes think of me for being a friend to a girl who needs it. On the flip side, girls also need to realize that not _EVERY_ guy has only one thing on their mind.

 

[AvatarS]

Hehe, once again you caught me generalizing

You know what? I actually couldn't be bothered what the okes think of me for being a friend to a girl who needs it. On the flip side, girls also need to realize that not _EVERY_ guy has only one thing on their mind.

That was a typo!

Girls do realise it. Well, it depends on the girl, I guess. So, some of us do realise it.

 

[Kitten]

Voicy i know not all guys think that way, but the ones who focus on it ruin it for the good ones

 

[Voicy]

Voicy i know not all guys think that way, but the ones who focus on it ruin it for the good ones

As with all aspects in life

I sincerely hope you find your Zen.

 

[killadoob]

Maybe i am a selfish prick who only ever thinks about himself by there is nothing than going shopping for clothes with your partner. Maybe some guys do because they are being nice but i think deep down they are either gay or wanting more than shopping Voicy 99% of men want sex from a chick until they hit a point of being best friends and the sister brother relationship develops but if this best friend/ sister is flaming hot you will want her every now and again , unless your gay

 

[Voicy]

I'm going to get crucified for this comment from whichever side of the tangent, but here it is.

I'm not planning on sleeping with a girl until I can afford the consequences of making a mistake. Even with the contraception out today I'd still be too worried.

I have 5 friends who are single moms - all I can say is no thank you. I do NOT need that responsibility on my plate right now. No matter how hot the girl might be.