The d!ck within....

Anonymous™ said:
This is a Monday thread. One I look at and wish the weekend never happened. Here goes:

I had the unforunate experience of screwing over one of the most precious relationships I was starting to build by being an absolute ****.

There's this amazing lady at the office that I quite much fancy; over the last week or two we've started hanging out together and things were great. She got me in a way few people do and I felt comfortable being myself with her.

She was privy to the fact that I despise my father; he was an alcoholic devilish **** who beat my mom and was generally a monster. I try so hard to be better than him. On Friday night, after having too much to drink - I was this monster. I shall not go into the details, but it was so bad, I really woke up wishing I was dead!

She took me out, bought me dinner, allowed me to sleep over at her place. Like a retard, I let my insecurities get the better of me and went snooping. I came across innocent conversations, which were none of my business, and well I flipped. I did not lay a hand on her, but I did touch and speak to her in a way guys that belong in hell do. It was so bad she decided to leave her own apartment whilst I passed out. I know - double dickmove on my part!

I have trampled a relationship booming with potential and I wish I could fix it. I have no idea where to start as she has made it clear she wants nothing more to do with me. The upside is that atleast she still talks me, a little atleast.

How do I fix this mess I created? I have already lost her - I just wish there was something I could do to get her back. In no capacity other than just a friend... She is a cool chick and that guy she met is not me. The fear that preoccupies my subconscious mind came out in a terrible way! She advised me to get an intense sport to rage all I can as she saw that it'll kill me.

Over the weekend, I contemplated resigning but that is the easy way out and it also says I am a wuss. I'd appreciate any input or advice. (If not help, ridicule me as is the norm then...)
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The best advice I can give you here dude is, do nothing.

By that I don't mean ignore her or avoid her but keep doing what you normally do, work ect. But stop trying to concentrate on getting her back but rather concentrate on becoming a better person.

She will see that change in you and when you feel ready and she feels that she want to restart something then by all means go ahead.

If you continue trying to get her back and trying to make her see you were wrong and all that crap she's gonna feel pressured and you gonna blow it. So stop! Work on yourself first ok.

In other words. You can't fix it! Its like a wound. It has to heal on its own.
 
RazedInBlack said:
The best advice I can give you here dude is, do nothing.

By that I don't mean ignore her or avoid her but keep doing what you normally do, work ect. But stop trying to concentrate on getting her back but rather concentrate on becoming a better person.

She will see that change in you and when you feel ready and she feels that she want to restart something then by all means go ahead.

If you continue trying to get her back and trying to make her see you were wrong and all that crap she's gonna feel pressured and you gonna blow it. So stop! Work on yourself first ok.

In other words. You can't fix it! Its like a wound. It has to heal on its own.
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I thank you.
 
Anonymous™ said:
I wasn't trying to sabotage it. I'm the loser that doesn't know when to stop. The only constant in life is change so people on that "people never like you never change" tip can go jump.
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I'm not trying to find excuses for you but sometimes underlying emotional problems can cause people to act so against their natural character and it's only when that's sorted out that they feel and act like themselves again.
 
Yeah, while you clearly behaved very badly you didn't beat, murder or rape her. So, I would cool it with the self-lambasting you're giving yourself. Punishing yourself does make you feel better for a certain degree of better, but really it's not going to help you with your issues.
Self-hatred is part of the abusive cycle. You're going to have to forgive yourself at some stage. Remorse is an appropriate response to your own poor behaviour because it means you know you were wrong but, it serves no purpose beyond that. Self-judgement can be as pointless as judging others.
 
Also, don't let your feelings of guilt blind you to all and any wrong doing on her part. Is it possible that you were right to be PO'd and it was only that your response was way out of proportion?
 
Nick333 said:
Yeah, while you clearly behaved very badly you didn't beat, murder or rape her. So, I would cool it with the self-lambasting you're giving yourself. Punishing yourself does make you feel better for a certain degree of better, but really it's not going to help you with your issues.

Self-hatred is part of the abusive cycle. You're going to have to forgive yourself at some stage. Remorse is an appropriate response to your own poor behaviour because it means you know you were wrong but, it serves no purpose beyond that. Self-judgement can be as pointless as judging others.
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I've decided I am not going to punish myself or feel I am not worthy. The judgemental folk in this thread can go **** themselves. Yes, I err'd - in a despicable way, however life has to go on. Already have my first help session booked. I am not the monster my father was, but I cannot deny I displayed the same behaviour.

Nick333 said:
Also, don't let your feelings of guilt blind you to all and any wrong doing on her part. Is it possible that you were right to be PO'd and it was only that your response was way out of proportion?
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My reaction was terrible. But worse was the manner in which I uncovered what I did. I have decided to believe the lady in question has/had a purpose to serve in my life. Whilst very little has changed in how I feel about her - I've decided the best thing I can do for her is to let her be. I'll definitely still love to be friends with her (even though the Friendzone is going to be a horrible place to live).

I'll get my **** together and well, que sera sera.

I guess it wouldn't be a good idea to let you guys know that we're on speaking terms again - this morning I accidentally elbowed her. It's cool though. I think.
 
Rocket Raccoon said:
:twisted:
Well good luck with whatever you decide.
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She came from behind. I did not see nor hear her.

02/10/2013
Her 11:57 AM
it was purely accidental
:)just a bit sore & scared i dnt bruise otherwise its cool
Me 12:13 PM
I know but still...
Idiot reflexes. Sorry
Her 12:13 PM
haibo dnt worry:)
pls give me the smile
look @ me & give the smile
Her 12:14 PM
i nrrf iy more right now
pls dnt keep the lady waiting
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abzo said:
"Accidentally"...
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Needs some more of these:

air_quotes.jpg


Die ou geloof sê mos dat jy die liefde moet in slaan. :erm:
 
Yes it's easier to come from behind. Don't keep the lady waiting, pls. She really nrrfs iy!!
 
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