The Friend Zone

[TJ99]

So the consensus here is that if he's your friend and hasnt tried to sleep with you he doesnt find you attractive and it has nothing to do with the "friend zone"?

Or he's just too shy/waiting for the right moment/waiting for her boyfriend to dump her.

But yes, nothing to do with the friend zone.

 

[Tinuva]

So the consensus here is that if he's your friend and hasnt tried to sleep with you he doesnt find you attractive and it has nothing to do with the "friend zone"?

I assume you have given him enough blatant signs you are interested? Some guys don't pick up on the usual signs woman throw unconsciously.

 

[Mike Hoxbig]

Some guys don't pick up on the usual signs woman throw unconsciously.

Subconsciously. I doubt that they throw any signs while they're knocked out

 

[_Hecate_]

I assume you have given him enough blatant signs you are interested? Some guys don't pick up on the usual signs woman throw unconsciously.

I've always wondered about this. How many signs should you give? By telling the person outright you lose some of the fun in the "game". Ppl appreciate stuff more for which they have to work for.

I think women in general over analyze what guys say. I often have to stop myself from doing this and focus on what they do.

 

[VioletF]

By telling the person outright you lose some of the fun in the "game".

Not to mention making things awkward.

I think women in general over analyze what guys say.

Agreed.

So how do you stop yourself from becoming too interested in a friend (that is, someone who you know isn't interested in dating you, for whatever reason, but you'd like to keep around because you enjoy their company)?

 

[Nick333]

I've always wondered about this. How many signs should you give? By telling the person outright you lose some of the fun in the "game". Ppl appreciate stuff more for which they have to work for.

I think women in general over analyze what guys say. I often have to stop myself from doing this and focus on what they do.

Why shouldn't women just put it out there and go for what they want. I know part of the attraction is usually from a guy being bold and confident but really is always that important?

I had a chick literally drag me off and fcck me once. It didn't seem to ruin the attraction for either of us.

I guess I'm just asking if we really need all these rules? Or does that sort of thing only work for some people? I suspect guys think that women set the rules and women think that guys do.
Like, guys think girls want them to make the first move because its necessary for attraction whereas girls think that if they make the first move they'll think they're a slut.

 

[I.am.Sam]

Why shouldn't women just put it out there and go for what they want. I know part of the attraction is usually from a guy being bold and confident but really is always that important?

I had a chick literally drag me off and fcck me once. It didn't seem to ruin the attraction for either of us.

I guess I'm just asking if we really need all these rules? Or does that sort of thing only work for some people? I suspect guys think that women set the rules and women think that guys do.
Like, guys think girls want them to make the first move because its necessary for attraction whereas girls think that if they make the first move they'll think they're a slut.

cause girls are weird in that sense ..they feel they become the easy desperate one...there is nothing wrong in a woman saying guy i like you and want something

i also had a girl in the club once like that ...i didnt mind just needed to get abit drunk tho

 

[I.am.Sam]

Why shouldn't women just put it out there and go for what they want. I know part of the attraction is usually from a guy being bold and confident but really is always that important?

I had a chick literally drag me off and fcck me once. It didn't seem to ruin the attraction for either of us.

I guess I'm just asking if we really need all these rules? Or does that sort of thing only work for some people? I suspect guys think that women set the rules and women think that guys do.
Like, guys think girls want them to make the first move because its necessary for attraction whereas girls think that if they make the first move they'll think they're a slut.

cause girls are weird in that sense ..they feel they become the easy desperate one...there is nothing wrong in a woman saying guy i like you and want something

i also had a girl in the club once like that ...i didnt mind just needed to get abit drunk tho

 

[Tinuva]

Well to be honest, if I am not looking for the signs, I also miss them, usually happen when I just want to drown in a beer and go home. I actually have to think about it, and then I can see them clearly. So when its a night that I am tired and not looking for a shag, I will completely miss the usual signs. When I go out of my way then sure I pick up no problem.

If a girl come up to me saying she is interested is no problem for me, though its nothing special, it happens enough that I don't think its strange.

 

[_Hecate_]

Why shouldn't women just put it out there and go for what they want. I know part of the attraction is usually from a guy being bold and confident but really is always that important?

I had a chick literally drag me off and fcck me once. It didn't seem to ruin the attraction for either of us.

I guess I'm just asking if we really need all these rules? Or does that sort of thing only work for some people? I suspect guys think that women set the rules and women think that guys do.
Like, guys think girls want them to make the first move because its necessary for attraction whereas girls think that if they make the first move they'll think they're a slut.

LOL yes clear straight forwardness if you are just looking for sex. But if you want something long term this is not the way to start it, imo.

Telling someone you like them (dating-wise) too early can creep the other person out. [crazeeyyy eyes]

 

[I.am.Sam]

LOL yes clear straight forwardness if you are just looking for sex. But if you want something long term this is not the way to start it, imo.

Telling someone you like them (dating-wise) too early can creep the other person out. [crazeeyyy eyes]

depends if he gives you signs as well but maybe he is scared somehow ....cause guys can be the same as well ....they will like you but be afraid to tell you cause of destroying what you have

 

[bwana]

The Friend Zone™ is a whole owned subsidiary of Women Inc™. If you're in it, it's because she wants you to be.

 

[_Hecate_]

depends if he gives you signs as well but maybe he is scared somehow ....cause guys can be the same as well ....they will like you but be afraid to tell you cause of destroying what you have

What would be a sign?

 

[Griz]

The Friend Zone™ is a whole owned subsidiary of Women Inc™. If you're in it, it's because she wants you to be.

Subsidiary trademarks, thats a new one.

 

[I.am.Sam]

What would be a sign?

how does he act all around you ....is there outings and stuff and calls you more often than normal people and hows the attraction between you guys

any of those nice moments

 

[azbob]

Ah the friendzone. The closest we'll get to knowing how a wet Jack Russel feels in a bath tub.

 

[Sinbad]

So the consensus here is that if he's your friend and hasnt tried to sleep with you he doesnt find you attractive and it has nothing to do with the "friend zone"?

And if you're hot, he's firmly in the gay zone.

 

[_Hecate_]

how does he act all around you ....is there outings and stuff and calls you more often than normal people and hows the attraction between you guys

any of those nice moments

I'm not currently in a "friend-zone" situation. I'm just curious in general, what the signs would be. The more subtle ones. Since I over analyze I've started looking at behaviour and not what people say and "reading" into it.

I'd rather base my findings on does he call/text me more than normal. Does he go out of his way to see me etc. From what male friends have told me, when a guy likes you...you'll know it. They are pretty straight forward with feelings and make it known. But what I'd like to know what about the shy ones..would they be straight forward in their actions as well?

...getting a bit OT

 

[Helghast]

I have... terrible mistake tho, the chick sucked my soul!

 

[Helghast]

Some of the recent threads have made me think and I'm curious... Has anyone ever managed to escape the dreaded "Friend Zone" by ending up in a relationship with that person?

If so, how did you do it?

And yes, this happens to women as well.

In my case, I was eventually able to walk away (though not, unfortunately, until I'd basically torn myself to pieces). After a year or so of no contact, we were able to pick up the friendship again - not as close as we had been, but at least without any more romantic interest from either side.

It was the hardest thing I'd ever done, though, and I don't think I'd be able to do that again. So, also, does anyone have advice on how to avoid getting too attached to a good friend in the first place? Not making friends with the interesting sex at all seems a little extreme...

Me personally I can't be friends with a girl and not have some form of attraction, unless she is a literally a mountain troll, the thing is tho I might not act on it cos I enjoy the friendship and don't need more from her.