I was posting via my cell so had to keep things brief, and unfortunately also slightly vague. So here's a more verbose reply.
My first suggestion would be to completely
forget about photography when starting out. First get a decent knowledge of the skies, gain experience and do visual observing to see if the hobby sticks. Many beginners start out wanting to take Hubble-like images, but quickly give up on that and enjoy visual observing by itself. Even if you do go for astrophotography you will need a background on where the objects are located, how to set up the scope, best time/conditons for imaging etc and then astrophotography has a whole learning curve on it's own.
Imaging is not as easy as it seems to be. Unlike normal photography you'll need to know quite a bit more and have deep pockets to boot.
Unless you have a permanent observatory you'll be faced with this every night:
Set up the scope. Carry weighty mount outside, level the mount, add the OTA.
Provide power for the mount, your camera and most likely a laptop.
Allow scope to reach ambient temperature. (Can be between 30min to a couple hours depending on scope)
Do a very accurate polar alignment (for us in the SH this means going through the process of drift alignment).
Attach camera to scope. Get the correct focus.
Capture flat images. Capture dark images.
Point at target and start capturing images of object for 2 hours or so.
Pack everything away.
Do post-processing by stacking short exposures or tweaking long-exposures.
Equipmet needed:
Very good EQ mount with worm gears and port for auto-guider.
Imaging scope (the main OTA)
Guidescope (to add auto-guider to)
Camera (DSLR will work, but for serious use you need an actively cooled CCD camera)
Laptop
Power supply for scope, laptop etc.
Cost: Entry level type setup would run around: R35000- R40000 (EQ5 Pro Go-To Mount - R18000, 80mm ED Refractor - R10000, Auto-guider - R5000, Finderscope suitable for guidescope - R1500, misc accessories - R3000)
For visual use you can get away with a much lower budget. Depending if you want Go-To or tracking etc. A 8" Dob should set you back around R6000. Everything will have to be done manually but it's lots of aperture at a minuscule price. No extra accessories would be needed to start with. As you grow in the hobby you can add more eyepieces and other accessories as needed.
If you want tracking you can get a SW tracking Dob for around R14000, or wait and see if the Orion Go-To Dobs become available within the next year or two for a similar price.
A typical night out would be something like this:
Carry mount out. Put it on the ground.
Get the OTA and put it on mount.
Wait for the scope to reach ambient (a hour or so)
Put eyepiece in and view.
Basically, I hear you say that I should by a Dobsonian? See if I stick with it enough to drop the bucks to buy something with a decent mount? Although your Dob is about 3 times the cost of your refractor. And the dob should be easier for the family?
There really isn't an easy answer to this. For me a Dob was the best choice. The refractor was a cheapish experiment to see how I'd cope with refractors. It's pretty good on star clusters and decent on planets (does have quite a bit of purple fringe (CA) on them ), but for DSO's my Dob wins hands-down.
I find the refractor uncomfortable to use. The Dob is much more comfortable and pointing it is easier and I can the eyepiece stays at a height where I can easily sit and observe.
A Dobsonian is the cheapest entry point for the largest amount of aperture. It does have downsides though. You have to collimate it regularly and when viewing you have manually nudge it to track the object. For most that's no problem, but other people absolutely WANT tracking, which you can get - at a cost.
There are various factors which come into play for what would be right for you.
What do you want to look at?
How old is your child(ren)?
Do you have a problem with light pollution?
How much storage space do you have?
Are you comfortable with nudging the scope around?
Would collimation be a problem?
Are you willing to learn the sky?
Personally I'll take aperture over tracking and Go-To, but you might be different. An 8" Dob would be a great starter scope to test the waters.
If you are
very serious (R20 000 worth of serious!) and want tracking. Something like the Celestron 8SE would be good. It's an excellent visual scope, has Go-To and tracking and later you can use the OTA on a EQ mount for photography.