I hit the track this afternoon for some 800m intervals to mentally process the financial havoc my wife wrecked on my bank accoount but it quickly turned into a scene straight out of a comedy sketch. Most of the lanes were hijacked by a coach running 100m and 200m sprints with athletes who apparently had rocket fuel in their veins. So, being the genius I am, I decided to strategically pace myself with each lap so that every time I hit the start line, I would be a few meters behind a group of sprinters gearing up for their 100m blast off.
And then because I clearly have no self preservation instincts Id join them for a 100m sprint right in the middle of my 800m interval. You know.....for fun.
If you’re wondering how that felt, let me summarize: like trying to run while being punched in the chest by a MMA fighter wearing spiked boxing gloves. My heart rate shot up to levels only seen on malfunctioning HR monitors, and I was pretty sure I was about to black out.
But the cherry on top? I got absolutely smoked....no, obliterated! by a 17 year old girl who sprinted past me like she was late for the apocalypse and a guy who looks like he is Gout Gout’s long lost twin brother. I didn’t just get outrun, I got dunked on, humiliated, and spiritually broken in the space of 100 meters.
So yeah, in summary today I discovered that mixing sprints with intervals is an excellent way to make your lungs file for divorce, and teenagers are terrifyingly fast.