If I microdose correctly, I tend to have a better chance of having a really good mood during the day.
I gotta share something. I'm still processing it, and working through the implications to see if I can make it happen again.
On Thursday, I did self hypnosis for the first time. Basically, its like meditation, except you try to relax as much as possible. You focus on progressive relaxation until you are utterly relaxed, and then you can deliver messages to your subconscious from your conscious mind. Supposedly this works, I'm still trying it out. I delivered some positive messages, and worked on forgiving my mother for what she put me through, which relates heavily to what I'm dealing with. I don't think I had forgiven her in my heart, and I think it was holding me back. She is dead so I can't speak with.
On Friday, I took leave. I had travel plans which I won't get into - not relevant to the story. I microdosed in the morning, and was just around the house. At around 10, I started feeling really down. Like, a really rapid onset depressive episode. I've been struggling a bit lately, so it wasn't unusual, except for its onset and its intensity. It was very bad. It was related to what I've been struggling with.
So I did the self hypnosis thing again. Partly because meditation can help in any case, but also because I thought perhaps I can try to change some of my negative thought patterns and let go a little more of the weight I've been carrying around.
Wow. Its like I was supercharged. I have never had a day like that, ever, in my entire life. My mood lifted from being so bad I couldn't finish cleaning my kitchen, to being the best mood I have had in probably more than a year. And it stayed there for the rest of the day. The next day, things mostly returned to normal, although, better than most of the previous week.
I'm still working on self hypnosis. I think it can really help. And, I wonder if it is really powerful in combination with the right dose of mushrooms. I believe too high a dose of mushrooms will make you so distracted that you won't be able to self hypnotise yourself. But the right dose will not only assist you in focusing but also help lower your subconscious defenses so that you can deliver messages to it.
I feel like the results are already semi permanent. I haven't microdosed today, nor have I self hypnotised, and I feel good. It feels like maybe my average happiness level has raised a bit.
I don't know if this is because self hypnosis can really change your subconscious, or whether the intense relaxation just nukes stress, especially combined with mushrooms. I don't know which of those is true. It matters a little which it is, but.... even if I can't directly change my subconscious that way, man, blasting stress like I did on Friday was an incredibly powerful experience. I think I took 0.45g that day - more than I would if I were working.