Unexpected Pregnancy

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MrDilemma

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Hi everyone,

I am a longtime member of MyBB just using a new account due to the sensitive nature of my post.

Yesterday my girlfriend (who is current staying in Durban) told me that she was pregnant, which surprised me as we were so careful and to be honest we haven't had sex that much. Anyways, she goes in for her scan yesterday... and here is the kicker. She tells me that it is about 5 weeks along. The reason why this came as a bit of a shock was that the last time I was in Durban and was intimate with her was 12 weeks ago. The last time she was down here and we were intimate was earliest 3 weeks ago.

Now, I want to trust her I really do. But from what I have googled, a scan is very accurate within the first 12 weeks, and if anything they might estimate the babies age to be younger than the conception date as it is based of menstrual cycles etc etc, which just pushes it further away from the two periods when we were together.

I haven't made a big thing about this as she is going through a rough time right now, and I want to get my facts 100% in order. She said she hasn't slept with anyone.

tl;dr: Girlfriend is about 5 weeks pregnant. I last slept with her 12 weeks ago, and +-3 weeks ago. How accurate are scans usually? Could it be a technical glitch, or would I be a fool to believe her.
 
nukefission said:
I say get a paternity test or else you`ll be wondering forever
Click to expand...

Oh sorry I should have mentioned, and I am ashamed to admit it, but she got an abortion yesterday. Well started it at least. So there is no way for me to verify if I was the father. But ye, if we were going to have the baby, I would definitely have gotten a paternity test.
 
nukefission said:
I say get a paternity test or else you`ll be wondering forever
Click to expand...

You may need to do this for peace of mind.

There is a degree of inaccuracy, though. The scan is based on the size of the foetus and I know the date of her last menstrual period somehow comes in to play.
My wife had a scan with our first. Sone time later, she started bleeding and was rushed to the hospital. Her gynae was not immediarely available, so the stand by gynae at the hospital arranged a scan. His date differed by about 1 week from her own doc.
 
MrDilemma said:
Hi everyone,

I am a longtime member of MyBB just using a new account due to the sensitive nature of my post.

Yesterday my girlfriend (who is current staying in Durban) told me that she was pregnant, which surprised me as we were so careful and to be honest we haven't had sex that much. Anyways, she goes in for her scan yesterday... and here is the kicker. She tells me that it is about 5 weeks along. The reason why this came as a bit of a shock was that the last time I was in Durban and was intimate with her was 12 weeks ago. The last time she was down here and we were intimate was earliest 3 weeks ago.

Now, I want to trust her I really do. But from what I have googled, a scan is very accurate within the first 12 weeks, and if anything they might estimate the babies age to be younger than the conception date as it is based of menstrual cycles etc etc, which just pushes it further away from the two periods when we were together.

I haven't made a big thing about this as she is going through a rough time right now, and I want to get my facts 100% in order. She said she hasn't slept with anyone.

tl;dr: Girlfriend is about 5 weeks pregnant. I last slept with her 12 weeks ago, and +-3 weeks ago. How accurate are scans usually? Could it be a technical glitch, or would I be a fool to believe her.
Click to expand...

Hold up there people. You need to understand how doctors report on term into the pregnancy.

When a doctor says 5 weeks he does not mean 5 weeks since the egg was fertilised. They mean 5 weeks since the first day of her last period. So if she is 5 weeks along in pregnancy terms, and she will ovulate about 10 to 18 days after that, then it puts the 3 weeks mark at a reasonable timeframe. Especially seeing as sperm can live inside a woman for a few days.

5 weeks pregnant minus about 2 weeks to cater for the time between menstruation and ovulation, puts you at around 3 weeks since conception.

I would confirm that this is the method that the doctor is using. Most do use this method, especially this early on. Don't immediately assume infidelity is afoot.
 
MrDilemma said:
Oh sorry I should have mentioned, and I am ashamed to admit it, but she got an abortion yesterday. Well started it at least. So there is no way for me to verify if I was the father. But ye, if we were going to have the baby, I would definitely have gotten a paternity test.
Click to expand...

why are you ashamed of something that she chose to do, if she did make the choice on her own. she obviously has her reasons for deciding to take this route and you need to respect her for this and hold your head up. with regards to dates etc, a woman's pregnancy dates are not accurate. they never are and a doctor is not god so........... a woman supposedly carries for 40 weeks, does that equal to 9 months?
 
Celine said:
why are you ashamed of something that she chose to do, if she did make the choice on her own. she obviously has her reasons for deciding to take this route and you need to respect her for this and hold your head up. with regards to dates etc, a woman's pregnancy dates are not accurate. they never are and a doctor is not god so........... a woman supposedly carries for 40 weeks, does that equal to 9 months?
Click to expand...

Uh... What if it was his? Should he as the father not have a right to make the decision with her?
 
SoulTax said:
Hold up there people. You need to understand how doctors report on term into the pregnancy.

When a doctor says 5 weeks he does not mean 5 weeks since the egg was fertilised. They mean 5 weeks since the first day of her last period. So if she is 5 weeks along in pregnancy terms, and she will ovulate about 10 to 18 days after that, then it puts the 3 weeks mark at a reasonable timeframe. Especially seeing as sperm can live inside a woman for a few days.

5 weeks pregnant minus about 2 weeks to cater for the time between menstruation and ovulation, puts you at around 3 weeks since conception.

I would confirm that this is the method that the doctor is using. Most do use this method, especially this early on. Don't immediately assume infidelity is afoot.
Click to expand...

this. Its very hard to pin point when a woman WAS fertile there are many factors that can cause ovulation. Even when the cycle is regulated by the pill. So yeah its generally around 14 days to ovulation from the 1st day of menstruation.

That said dont be naive. Ask her to take an HIV test wont tell you if she is faithful or not but it will keep you safe

EDIT:

the abortion is suspicious. Did she consult you on the matter or did she do it on her own accord ?
 
Last edited:
Yeah. If she did it without consulting you, then it sounds like she fscked around and aborted before you could find out that you're not the father.
 
Looney said:
Uh... What if it was his? Should he as the father not have a right to make the decision with her?
Click to expand...

it's not his body so lets not go there shall we. no one can say or make a claim to a woman's decision in what she decides with regards to abortion. not the father of the child nor society. so everyone needs to stay the hell out of her decision making. the end.
 
Based on my calculations, it was yours.

See SoulTax's post to see how pregnancy is calculated...
 
Sloots gonna sloot.

Have an in depth chat to her about all of this. Be open and honest with her and share your concerns. Is there a reason for this mistrust other than the timing? It sounds like there is, and where there is smoke...
 
Celine said:
it's not his body so lets not go there shall we. no one can say or make a claim to a woman's decision in what she decides with regards to abortion. not the father of the child nor society. so everyone needs to stay the hell out of her decision making. the end.
Click to expand...
What the actual fsck?!!! :wtf:

You're trolling, right?
 
Celine said:
it's not his body so lets not go there shall we. no one can say or make a claim to a woman's decision in what she decides with regards to abortion. not the father of the child nor society. so everyone needs to stay the hell out of her decision making. the end.
Click to expand...

Wtf, Celine. Just wtf.
 
SoulTax said:
Hold up there people. You need to understand how doctors report on term into the pregnancy.

When a doctor says 5 weeks he does not mean 5 weeks since the egg was fertilised. They mean 5 weeks since the first day of her last period. So if she is 5 weeks along in pregnancy terms, and she will ovulate about 10 to 18 days after that, then it puts the 3 weeks mark at a reasonable timeframe. Especially seeing as sperm can live inside a woman for a few days.

5 weeks pregnant minus about 2 weeks to cater for the time between menstruation and ovulation, puts you at around 3 weeks since conception.

I would confirm that this is the method that the doctor is using. Most do use this method, especially this early on. Don't immediately assume infidelity is afoot.
Click to expand...

100% correct!!

The time of conception was when OP slept with her 3 weeks ago.
 
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