Urgent. Peadophile?

HumanoidTyphoon said:
Doesn't have to be that way..

I know 25 y/o guys who have never been in a relationship. They are more innocent than any 16 y/o girls I have ever met ^_~ And it would be a piece of cake for a 16 y/o to manipulate and take advantage of them.

I think the parent should meet the guy before judging him. Too late it seems..
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ROFL :D

But these 25yos prefer their porn :p
 
From the age of about 13 every boyfriend I've had has been a minimum of 5 years older than me (largest age gap has been 13 years). At the time I saw no problem with it at all - but then, as many posters have said - I thought I was old enough, smart enough, mature enough and emotionally capable enough to deal with anything that came my way. In retrospect I know without a doubt that I was in NO way old enough, smart enough, mature enough or emotionally capable enough to deal with any of it.

I now have a 6 year old daughter and swear on all that is holy that I will enjoy every minute of torture inflicted on any man who so much as sniffs in her direction :p

Realistically speaking though, I hope (with out much conviction I'll admit) that I can impart the lessons learnt from my mistakes to my child. Unfortunately I get the feeling that she is going to be just like her mother in certain areas (she's going to want to make all her own mistakes) and I can only hope that I can teach her the neccessary skills to navigate herself safely through puberty.

If my teenage years were anything to go by - we cannot force our children to do what they are taught or told, but as parents we need to be there to help love and support where ever we can. This does not mean that we should condone all behaviours but (IMO) perhaps we should embrace rather than reject their decisions. Should my daughter turn to me in 10 years and ask to bring home her adult bf I'm certainly not going to turn either of them away. I would rather foster open communication and hope that my daughter feels safe enough to approach me should there be any questions. I'm sure many would scoff at the idea but I've seen it in action....

My sister was 17 when she was dating a 27 yr old. One night my mother received a phonecall (I was seated beside her) from my sister sayin that she was about to have sex with this man for the first time and did my mom have any words of wisdom before the big moment.

I hope to have that kind of relationship with my daughter one day.
 
gdiza said:
If I have kids, I will always expect them to be open and honest with me, if my daughter came to me at 16 and said she wanted to date a older guy (most girls are into this) then I'd expect her to know all the rights and wrongs, taught by myself / school and generally common sense.
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So if your 15 year old daughter approaches you and tells you she is going to start doing hard drugs you will approve?

You will approve because she was open and honest enough to speak to you about it? And that you know at 15 she is mature enough and street smart enough to make these decisions?

This is how absurd your logic sounds!
 
In my (black) culture, a girl can't introduce, or invite her bf to her home.

I find this disgusting for a 16yr old to say to her parents "Mom and dad, I want you to meet someone who faks me". :)
Shucks!
 
Heita_Hola said:
In my (black) culture, a girl can't introduce, or invite her bf to her home.

I find this disgusting for a 16yr old to say to her parents "Mom and dad, I want you to meet someone who faks me". :)
Shucks!
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So you have never met your SO/GF/BF's Parents?

Different strokes for different folks ;)
 
PsyWulf said:
Bleh!

Say what you like :P

She was 18 and me 23 at the time,year later and we're still madly in love and happy together. Parents are very supportive aswell :)
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18 is A LOT better than 16:)

That is like saying Hi im 18 and I date a 14 yo OR Hi im 18 and I date a 11yo :rolleyes:
 
GrandEqualizer said:
I don't think that 23 going out with 16 is a paedophile. It would be if he was around 30 going out with 16. An age difference of 7 years is not unusual (within the same decade). I am 6 years older than my wife. That means she was 14 when I was 20. Would you have said that was also paedophilia?
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now put that 6 years in relative terms. if you were 30 and she was 24, its fine. she's mature enough to make her own decisions. if you were 26 and she was 20, that's still fine. i'd even let 18 and 24 slide, if the girl has at least finished school!
there is not one person who can tell me that a 16yr old girl is ready for the same things as a *normal* 23 year old without lying. that 7 year gap is nearly half her lifetime. ask any guy and he'll tell you the same - you change and learn a lot after high school... and you get exposed to a lot more.

i feel there are 3 possibilities:

1) he's incapable of getting a girl his own age because he's a pretty messed up guy
2) the guy is very innocent and immature, in which case i might understand the situation but i still wont approve
3) he's one of those who hang around schools after they've come out and chats to the girls because he gets off on them being in school uniforms
 
Devill said:
18 is A LOT better than 16:)

That is like saying Hi im 18 and I date a 14 yo OR Hi im 18 and I date a 11yo :rolleyes:
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Hmmm...some 16year olds are quite mature aswell,while some 18year olds are pretty childish
 
PsyWulf said:
Hmmm...some 16year olds are quite mature aswell,while some 18year olds are pretty childish
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NO 16yo is mature, maybe more mature than the rest but not mature. Also there is a difference between mature and knowledgeable :)
 
Devill said:
NO 16yo is mature, maybe more mature than the rest but not mature. Also there is a difference between mature and knowledgeable :)
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I'd love to go into a debate about how circumstances may force people to grow up too fast for better or worse but that isn't entirely what this discussion is about :P

Point being things like this need to be individually weighed and merited

Pedophilia is the love of pre-pubescent children by most common definition. Which this however is not :P
 
lol. This thread is never gonna die. :D

The age gap if they were adults would be fine but they're not adults only one of them is. Girls nowadays often get away with lying about their age but it seems clear in this case that the guy knows precisely how old she is and doesn't seem to be bothered enough to even worry that he dad would be angry about it.

Look, meet the guy, scare the living daylights out of him. Ask him for his home address, work address, university/ college, his ID number and his cell number. Just make him aware of the fact that if ANYTHING happens to your daughter he is a marked man. He'll eventually get so worried he'll 1. Respect her all the time or 2. Get so scared he'll end it.
 
hxc87x said:
1) he's incapable of getting a girl his own age because he's a pretty messed up guy
2) the guy is very innocent and immature, in which case i might understand the situation but i still wont approve
3) he's one of those who hang around schools after they've come out and chats to the girls because he gets off on them being in school uniforms
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i agree with your whole post. no rep system, so i can just pat you on the back :p

but lets boil down those three points. no sugar coating, no PC:
1) loser
2) momma's boy / loser
3) pervert / loser

if you, as an ADULT of 23+, like 16 year olds, why draw the line there? are older women too mature for you? or even women of your own age :)

16 year old kids are impressionable, and easily manipulated. thus the appeal. if you go to school and your mom or dad packs you lunch, washes your clothes, gives you allowance, takes you to church, etc etc, then you are a kid. "but i can likes to be older than my age, i matures faster coz i am like a feemail". ah, never mind then, heres your baby, enjoy your life.

all that being said though, i know a few 25 year olds who are still kids, who don't have a drivers license (or car), lives with mum, never goes out. does that make it right though?

PS: this is not directed at anybody, just people in general as discussed in the original post
 
i hate the word mature, i always have to think about a nice rump steak that has matured for about 2 - 3 weeks. I think we can not assume, that when a girl is 16, that she is "mature". Some never "mature". My dad is 14 years older than my mom, but he didnt date her when she was 16 and he was 30. They got togehter when my dad was like 45 and my mom 31.

If I had a daughter who is 16, and she would tell me that she has a BF that is 23, :D i would phone him and tell him that if he touches her again, he sure has to make sure that he has some sort of medical aid that covers intensive care, plastic surgery and a good dental aid...

maybe it is a bit harsh, but thats what i would do...
 
thedutchman said:
i hate the word mature, i always have to think about a nice rump steak that has matured for about 2 - 3 weeks. I think we can not assume, that when a girl is 16, that she is "mature". Some never "mature". My dad is 14 years older than my mom, but he didnt date her when she was 16 and he was 30. They got togehter when my dad was like 45 and my mom 31.

If I had a daughter who is 16, and she would tell me that she has a BF that is 23, :D i would phone him and tell him that if he touches her again, he sure has to make sure that he has some sort of medical aid that covers intensive care, plastic surgery and a good dental aid...

maybe it is a bit harsh, but thats what i would do...
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QFT
 
PsyWulf said:
I'd love to go into a debate about how circumstances may force people to grow up too fast for better or worse but that isn't entirely what this discussion is about :P

Point being things like this need to be individually weighed and merited

Pedophilia is the love of pre-pubescent children by most common definition. Which this however is not :P
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True but like I also said I was knowledgeable enough at 5yo to read and understand maths textbooks up to grade 6 level but I would not have been able to implement them in the real world :)
 
Devill said:
True but like I also said I was knowledgeable enough at 5yo to read and understand maths textbooks up to grade 6 level but I would not have been able to implement them in the real world :)
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You must have been a bored child :P
 
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