Urgent. Peadophile?

BTech said:
In the old days many girls in "white" SA were married by 16, many didn't even have matric! If it was okay for Ouma...well...
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In the old days many "white" SA girls were also not allowed to work and knew their "place" in the household. Their childhoods effectively ended as soon as they started popping out kids at 14. Thank goodness it's no longer the old days.
 
hxc87x said:
lmao, it might be a needle but it works like a sewing machine
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ROFL :D

BTech said:
its only a 9 yrs difference...when he's 89 she'll be 80?? I know a lot of guys married to or dating younger women e.g. guy is 50 girl friend or wife is in early 20's..so whats the big issue?? I mean to say, if she's 16 its legal for them to marry right??
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Yeah but then should a 16yo be able to date a 9/10yo? See everything is relative.

w1z4rd said:
I would say its dependent on the relative maturity of the two. My sister dated a lot older as well, but she was extremely tall and mature for her age. The guys she dated were good decent sensible chaps. She is much older now and happily married with two kids.
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Sure, most guys seem that way..... Lol, also most 13yo and upwards think they are mature.

marco said:
Thank you.
I have not allowed this 23 year old guy to come to our house.
My daughter has been upset since.
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Are you angry because your daughter is angry at you?

Most of us said meet the guy and THEN talk to your daughter.

Also what did you think was going to happen when you told her "no"?
 
I did not read all of the posts but I'll give my two cents worth!

The age difference is not the main issue - it is very commom for a 40 year old male the date or even marry a +30 year old female and no one will frown upon the relationship.

In this case, the timing of the relationship is totally wrong - you can not allow a relationship develop between two people where the one is still in school and dependent on their parents while the other have an independent life - does not matter if they are studying at university or college. It is unfair from the independent party to be involved with the dependent one.

This is said out of experience - I was proved correct after having to bear the brunt of everyone else because I spoke up against such a relationship. I was just releived that both parties eventually walked out of the relationship without any damaged caused to the other.
 
marco said:
Thank you.
I have not allowed this 23 year old guy to come to our house.
My daughter has been upset since.
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of course she's going to be upset. you rejected her boyfriend before even meeting him. i'm not saying you did the wrong thing here because, honestly, i would've done the same, but what did you expect from her?

its all damage control now. explain to her your reasons for doing so. she's going to be very pissed off and very emotional, but hey, thats too be expected from teenage girls. dont expect her to accept you reasons for doing so but tell her why you did it and hopefully she'll think about it and come to her senses soon.
maybe get a close female friend/her mom to talk to her about it. someone more mature (older sister? cousin? maybe even her aunt?) if she sees that there are others who agree with you then she'll be more likely to accept and forgive and forget about her manfriend.

good luck man.
 
This whole thing, with 20-something year-old's dating teens, seems retarded. I can see why a 23 year-old guy would want to date a 16 year-old and it doesn't have anything to do with love. You could definitely get easy sex dating a teen and girls at that age won't put up too much resistance when a 23 year-old comes with his Jedi Mind Tricks.

I agree, he may not be a paedophile but its probably all about easy sex because in all honesty what are they going to talk about? I mean, when I was in my early 20s I couldn't see myself dating a 19 year-old due to the maturity gap but when I was 26 I dated a 23 year-old who was almost on my level.
 
marco said:
My daughter aged 16 wants me to meet her "boyfriend" tomorrow. She is 16 and he is 23. I do not agree with it. I think he is a peadophile.
What do you think?
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This sounds a bit dodgy, but not a paedophile. Maybe he doesn't know she's only 16!
 
marco said:
Thank you.
I have not allowed this 23 year old guy to come to our house.
My daughter has been upset since.
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IMO you might rather have invited the guy around, sat them both down and explained things.

. . . alternatively you could have just shown him the freshly dug [-]grave[/-] soak-away in the back garden.

Hope it doesnt come around to bite you in the you-know-where :o
 
A 23 year old guy dating a girl of 16 does not necessarily mean he is a paedophile. It does however probably mean that the guy is taking advantage of the girl's immaturity.

To her, it is flattering that a man in his 20s shows interest in her.
To him, she is a child who he can easily influence and manipulate.
 
If you dont want your daughter going out with a 23 year old, tell them both that. Tell him to **** off and tell your daughter she is not allowed to see him. If she does, she's f_cking grounded till she's 18!

If I had a daughter she would'nt even think about introducing me to her boyfriend! I ofcourse would pretend not to mind, but when he came round, I would beat the living ***** out of him!
 
BTech said:
Good old days...young wife barefoot n pregnant in the kitchen..when real men worked hard, smoked, drank, spat, had bar fights,,ahh, I misq
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ROFL :D

brixton tower said:
This whole thing, with 20-something year-old's dating teens, seems retarded. I can see why a 23 year-old guy would want to date a 16 year-old and it doesn't have anything to do with love. You could definitely get easy sex dating a teen and girls at that age won't put up too much resistance when a 23 year-old comes with his Jedi Mind Tricks.
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He will use the wors :p


I just can not see how a 23yo is not looking for sex when he is dating a 16yo.
 
GrandEqualizer said:
I don't think that 23 going out with 16 is a paedophile. It would be if he was around 30 going out with 16. An age difference of 7 years is not unusual (within the same decade). I am 6 years older than my wife. That means she was 14 when I was 20. Would you have said that was also paedophilia?
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If you had wanted to date her and sleep with her when she was 14. Then yes
 
GrandEqualizer said:
I don't think that 23 going out with 16 is a paedophile. It would be if he was around 30 going out with 16. An age difference of 7 years is not unusual (within the same decade). I am 6 years older than my wife. That means she was 14 when I was 20. Would you have said that was also paedophilia?
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When did you start dating?

So it is fine if an 18yo dates a 12yo?

Matric guy dating a gr6(st4) girl??
 
I'm dating a girl a year younger than my baby-sister. Admittedly the GF is 18 and ridiculously fine...im 24 :P
 
blunomore said:
A 23 year old guy dating a girl of 16 does not necessarily mean he is a paedophile. It does however probably mean that the guy is taking advantage of the girl's immaturity.

To her, it is flattering that a man in his 20s shows interest in her.
To him, she is a child who he can easily influence and manipulate.
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Doesn't have to be that way..

I know 25 y/o guys who have never been in a relationship. They are more innocent than any 16 y/o girls I have ever met ^_~ And it would be a piece of cake for a 16 y/o to manipulate and take advantage of them.

I think the parent should meet the guy before judging him. Too late it seems..
 
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