What have I done?? :(

My vote goes with don't tell her!

No matter how many times a woman tells you she would rather just know and that it won't affect the relationship, it is all lies! She will suspect you every time you go out without her. She will conjure up all sorts of things in that female mind of hers as to what actually happened! Sometimes, and particularly in a case like this, what you don't know can't hurt you.

Unless of course the guilt of what you did eats away at you and destroys your relationship in that way? But that is for you to sort!
 
You have to tell her I am afraid.. And face the consequences.. It is going to take months for her to trust you again.. my now husband cheated on me, and told me 4 months later.. I was mad for almost a year.. But now that we are married, and he has proved he was really sorry and understood every time I questioned him, gave me his passwords for his emails even to prove how sorry he was.. But now that we are married everything is out there, open and honest..

If you don't come clean it will be an injustice to your relationship..

It is your choice though if you can handle the consequences :(
 
thesadguy said:
This is probably the best advice anyone's given so far. Where were you 2 nights ago :(

How can I go about forgiving myself?
Click to expand...

It was just a kiss...forgive yourself for having a moment of falling for a temptation. I'm a woman, an older one too, and I've been on both sides of similar situations...I promise you...one little kiss is not worth the distrust, fights that will come out of a confession.

By you telling her what are you going to achieve? Are you hoping she'll forgive you? Will it make you feel better? That's definitely not going to happen overnight and depending on your GF it may never happen. You'll feel worse after the fight and it'll be brought up over and over again. Either way, whether you tell her or not, you cannot reverse what happened. Accept it as a really bad judgement and learn from it.
 
LancelotSA said:
As Natasha said, but with a male translation, tell her and you will be her b_tch for the rest of time!
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lol, yes true sadly..

Depends on the woman though.. Some won't do that and will realise after some time that for the sake of both of you, she needs to get past it..

I don't bring it up anymore, and understand it was right in the beginning of our relationship, he was sorry, it was a mistake, blah blah..

But yes, Lance is right.. Some may never come to that realisation.. If she loves you though, she will forgive you..
 
What if I told her, but toned it down a lot? I have a way with words.
 
Natasha H said:
You have to tell her I am afraid.. And face the consequences.. It is going to take months for her to trust you again.. my now husband cheated on me, and told me 4 months later.. I was mad for almost a year.. But now that we are married, and he has proved he was really sorry and understood every time I questioned him, gave me his passwords for his emails even to prove how sorry he was.. But now that we are married everything is out there, open and honest..

If you don't come clean it will be an injustice to your relationship..

It is your choice though if you can handle the consequences :(
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply, Natasha_H!

Congrats on getting through it. I'm not so sure we'd be as lucky. I think that after I told her (if we stayed together) she'd "get over it" pretty quickly, only to bring it up later as a bargaining chip. And to be honest, she has every right to.

People keep telling me to reverse the roles. If that were the case, I'd want to know about it. On the other hand, I'd go crazy if it happened to me. So we have yet another conflict when looking at things "from the other side"
 
thesadguy said:
What if I told her, but toned it down a lot? I have a way with words.
Click to expand...

You do seem to feel a lot of remorse for the incident. If you do decide to tell her be totally honest. Why mess around with half the truth, it sort of implies you only half regret it.
 
Ha ha ha so much for the advice we gave him on this forum!!

By my count there was only one vote for tell her.... glad to see thesadguy values our advice!! :)

I'll sit back and wait to say "i told you so".... unfortunately it may be weeks, months or years until she gets a chance to use this in her favour. Perhaps she snogs a guy and then says, "oh but you did". Or you argue and she says "well at least I did not kiss someone".....
 
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