What is love?

[Garson007]

Ek is nie een van jou hoerskool slette nie, Picard.

 

[Pooky]

Have a crank, you will feel better.

 

[Goliath]

Everyone thinking of the Haddaway song it seems..

 

[Picard]

Everyone thinking of the Haddaway song it seems..

It's basically automatic. We can't help it.

[video=youtube;xhrBDcQq2DM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhrBDcQq2DM[/video]

 

[Garson007]

Tell us more about yourself.

What would you like to know more about me?

 

[Garson007]

Since this is now a music thread...

[video=youtube;PDZcqBgCS74]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDZcqBgCS74[/video]

 

[TofuMofu]

Went on like a meet / date today with some other random guy. Seems nice enough. Good conversation. Etcetera. Maybe long-term potential there.

Got back home and all I can feel is how much I want the guy this thread is about. Ffs.

Give it some time. You'll get over him

 

[Garson007]

So, like I said. We've been chatting a bit on whatsapp. I brought up going to lunch sometime (I know Grant said I should phone, but I've never phoned him before so I'm afraid it will feel like I'm pressuring him) but I also made a follow up goodnight comment. He only replied to the gnight comment. What does this mean? I always fear that my whatsapp messages come across as passive aggressive, which is why I don't like it as a platform.

In any case, what should I do now? Should I ask him tomorrow if he's slept on the question? Do I just ignore the ignoring of the question?

 

[Hamish McPanji]

From the movie adaptation (2002), the freeky one with Nicholas Cage acting as both twins :

Charlie Kaufman:*There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.

Donald Kaufman:*Oh, God. I was so in love with her.

Charlie Kaufman:*I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.

Donald Kaufman:*I remember that.

Charlie Kaufman:*Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.

Donald Kaufman:*I knew. I heard them.

Charlie Kaufman:*How come you looked so happy?

Donald Kaufman:*I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.

Charlie Kaufman:*But she thought you were pathetic.

Donald Kaufman:*That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.

 

[TofuMofu]

So, like I said. We've been chatting a bit on whatsapp. I brought up going to lunch sometime (I know Grant said I should phone, but I've never phoned him before so I'm afraid it will feel like I'm pressuring him) but I also made a follow up goodnight comment. He only replied to the gnight comment. What does this mean? I always fear that my whatsapp messages come across as passive aggressive, which is why I don't like it as a platform.

In any case, what should I do now? Should I ask him tomorrow if he's slept on the question? Do I just ignore the ignoring of the question?

Just ask him about the lunch idea again.

Sadly, if he doesn't feel the same way about you, then I think it would be best to just move along.

Maybe even talk to him about it? Say you have feelings for him. Maybe he does have feelings for you, but is afraid of commitment or maybe even thinks you do not want anything more.

 

[Garson007]

It's complicated, but yeah. I dunno man. I'd much rather just be friends and move on. Enough heartache is enough, especially when I don't even see him once a month. But is where it hurts, he doesn't believe I'd only want to be friends.

 

[Grant]

It's complicated, but yeah. I dunno man. I'd much rather just be friends and move on. Enough heartache is enough, especially when I don't even see him once a month. But is where it hurts, he doesn't believe I'd only want to be friends.

"there is no pain as exquisite as the pain of wanting something you know you should never have"

 

[Nick333]

It's complicated, but yeah. I dunno man. I'd much rather just be friends and move on. Enough heartache is enough, especially when I don't even see him once a month. But is where it hurts, he doesn't believe I'd only want to be friends.

Do really think you could just be friends?

 

[Grant]

So, like I said. We've been chatting a bit on whatsapp. I brought up going to lunch sometime (I know Grant said I should phone, but I've never phoned him before so I'm afraid it will feel like I'm pressuring him) but I also made a follow up goodnight comment. He only replied to the gnight comment. What does this mean? I always fear that my whatsapp messages come across as passive aggressive, which is why I don't like it as a platform.

In any case, what should I do now? Should I ask him tomorrow if he's slept on the question? Do I just ignore the ignoring of the question?

i wouldn't ask again tomorrow if you have not had a response - you run the risk of coming across as a nagging wife - which i suspect is something he is allergic to.

leave it for a week or so, then MAKE THE CALL.
but dont suggest having lunch "sometime", but "i'm down the road from you, do you feel like grabbing a bite to eat". (a here & now approach)
lunch "sometime" is too open ended.

whatsapp / text is too wishy washy & devoid of emotion & commitment.

 

[Garson007]

Do really think you could just be friends?

I do.

I'm not jealous of sex. I'm not jealous of fun. I don't need sex.

Now of course there must be some adjustment, but I can't see why it wouldn't work as a friendship. Maybe a bit of an intense friendship but over time I'll adapt to my new role. What scares me is losing him completely.

 

[Nick333]

I do.

I'm not jealous of sex. I'm not jealous of fun. I don't need sex.

Now of course there must be some adjustment, but I can't see why it wouldn't work as a friendship. Maybe a bit of an intense friendship but over time I'll adapt to my new role. What scares me is losing him completely.

Ja, when you're your age everything's so now and urgent. Sometimes you've got to not be friends for a while before you can be friends later. Give yourself the time you need to get over him. There's no reason you can't be friends again down the line. Even as I type it I can feel that sense of loss you're feeling at the thought of not having him at all but, I promise you it's the only medicine. It's going to hurt but, it's better than that slow drawn out pain of hoping against hope. When you can give him a call one day and really just want to be his friend it'll feel great and you'll a better, stronger person.

Loves a motherfccker, buddy. I'm sorry.

/hugs

 

[Grant]

but over time I'll adapt to my new role. What scares me is losing him completely.

seems like you are prepping yourself for a fall.
wots this nonsense of "accepting your new role" ?
you enter a race to win, not for second place, accepting a subservient position is unacceptable.

if you fail to make a concerted effort to get what you want and simply accept 2nd place, you will ever live to regret that decision - trust me, i speak from experience on that one.
down the line you will always wonder why you never really made the effort, by which time the ship of opportunity has long sailed.

accept 2nd prize after you have run the race, not beforehand.

 

[Nick333]

seems like you are prepping yourself for a fall.
wots this nonsense of "accepting your new role" ?
you enter a race to win, not for second place, accepting a subservient position is unacceptable.

if you fail to make a concerted effort to get what you want and simply accept 2nd place, you will ever live to regret that decision - trust me, i speak from experience on that one.
down the line you will always wonder why you never really made the effort, by which time the ship of opportunity has long sailed.

accept 2nd prize after you have run the race, not beforehand.

This.

 

[STS]

I do.

I'm not jealous of sex. I'm not jealous of fun. I don't need sex.

Now of course there must be some adjustment, but I can't see why it wouldn't work as a friendship. Maybe a bit of an intense friendship but over time I'll adapt to my new role. What scares me is losing him completely.

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/4b/4bf3da7f2e73506bd63f972ddbf658ad1b0fece834278eb3315ed1dc632a4dbc.jpg

 

[Ockie]

"there is no pain as exquisite as the pain of wanting something you know you should never have"

Do really think you could just be friends?

Possible, but hard. I was in love with my then best straight friend in school. He was in matric and I was two years behind him. I would not give up those years of friendship for anything, but damn it was hard.