when is too long, waaay too long

[Mike Hoxbig]

It's not a matter of blame. It's clear the lady's feelings are not, and will not, be reciprocated. Continuing the relationship based on the presupposition or hope that reciprocation will occur will only lead to greater disappointment and anguish. As I alluded to, in any event, her feelings of love will probably override her impulse for self-preservation. 'Tis a shame.

Sorry HR, I wasn't singling you out specifically

But it's not cool to see replies telling her not to waste her time with this guy, implying that he is at fault, without knowing the full story. He may very well have a good reason which may not be related to any of the assumptions here, including those that may have been made by the OP.

Perhaps he really does have difficulty expressing his emotions due to his upbringing, as somebody else said. We don't know.

 

[Murdoc]

Jeezus , you know more often than not theres a thread about heart break ,cheating , some one of facebook is breaking up,couple friends fighting - it goes on.

I've had heart break too many times now . Im starting to wonder if this **** is worth it.
I will not make a break up thread

And its not the guys who can be heartless ,
chicks are freaking ruthless - the stigma in society is WRONG
what ever the **** this means ,

Chicks are carguards™

its the truth

Sorry I just need to vent but
I basically just got a dear john email this evening after being strung along like a rag doll for 2 weeks
****ing ****

 

[krycor]

my 2c.. while agree with the whole emo thing isn't always the same depending how close the family the person comes from is.. from what you said you kinda had to pressure/argue him to say it. The whole continuation and see where it goes is fine in theory but you may end up hating him for it when the result is not positive. End of the day he needs to decide whether or not he wants you to be more than just a cool friend to hang out with etc and sometimes the process of deciding this is going through a rough separation wherein he decides on his terms whats important to him etc. tbh i don't like the whole crying thing.. you basically force the guy to come to amenable solution that while does not solve anything returns the status quo for now.. in future don't do that, you only hurt yourself that way.

 

[Murdoc]

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."

- Thich Nhat Hanh

god damn Buddhist speaking the god damn truth

 

[Bobbin]

if he is gay, then his web browser is very misleading, coz it's naked ladies all round. and my gay-dar is superb form, i know people are gay before they do.

he is very affectionate. just doesnt seem to translate into the eyes.

his folks arent very coochie-coo either. but mine werent either, they hated each other in fact.

i was thinking dragging us both off to a councellor, because we are both issue-ridden.

Just a stab in the dark here...

Assuming he is a normal person psychologically speaking then yes I don't think he loves you and maybe never will.

However from the little bit of info you have given it seems he might be either very confused or something else is wrong deep down in this guy.

I can be like that too sometimes, displaying affectionate behaviour but feeling completely dead inside. However I also have moments when I am completely opposite in how I feel. I only learned to identify this issue later in life and it has indeed cost me 2 possibly 3 relationships in the past, not that I can necessarily blame it on an issue it was still my fault. Now I just manage it better and I'm open about it with my girlfriend.

If he feels numb just because of you well there is nothing you can do. But if he feels numb about everything in general (even only to a point that he has no desire to do anything or to only do some things and be left alone) then that is entirely different and needs to be looked at

 

[techead]

been through this exact same thing, I was that guy.

forget him and move on. you deserve someone who really adores you and isnt there just for the ride