When marrying, which surname do you take?

Voicy

Voicy

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Hi friends,

Since men and women have equal rights and so on ... how much weight is still put on keeping the husband's surname instead of going for double-barreled ones?

Personally I would expect someone to take my surname if I was the one who asked her to marry...but quite a few women lately are adamant that the surnames be joined.

What's your take on this?
 
Voicy said:
Hi friends,

Since men and women have equal rights and so on ... how much weight is still put on keeping the husband's surname instead of going for double-barreled ones?

Personally I would expect someone to take my surname if I was the one who asked her to marry...but quite a few women lately are adamant that the surnames be joined.

What's your take on this?
Click to expand...


I did a thread on this some time ago. I do not like those hyphenated surnames one little bit.
 
My wife brought this up before we got married....when I eventually stopped laughing she kind of got the idea and never brought it up again. However if her maiden name was Blackadder, Longwood, van Dam or Vader I may have considered taking her surname...but it wasn’t
 
Why on earth would anyone want to change their surname? You spend years forming your own identity, which includes your name. Keep it. There's also no need to tack on another surname.

If that ever happens, I would definitely keep my own surname. Any offspring would probably bear the father's surname.

Like blu, I'm not a fan of hyphenated surnames either.
 
I personally hate the idea of double-barreled surnames and then there's the fact that the kids will have different surnames to their mother. My wife has chosen to take my surname, but add her maiden name as an additional first name. That way, the family name is preserved in some sense.
 
AvatarS said:
Why on earth would anyone want to change their surname? You spend years forming your own identity, which includes your name. Keep it. There's also no need to tack on another surname.

If that ever happens, I would definitely keep my own surname. Any offspring would probably bear the father's surname.

Like blu, I'm not a fan of hyphenated surnames either.
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a change of name is declaration of power...

for me it goes without saying, the i marry if ever i should marry, will use my surname...
 
blunomore said:
You men are chauvinists.


:D
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we might have equal rights, but we are not equal. take a quick example, when you get at home look at your husband's/bf's hands, shoulders and then look at yours...

men have balls for a reason...
 
If you do not take on the husband's surname ... does that mean your father does not have to walk down the isle to "give you away" anymore?

I'm just curious to see which traditions we keep and which we discard ... it seems a lot like quoting the bible to suit our own agenda. Only follow the rules we are happy with and ignore the rest...

Is it then not better to just be declared common-law partners?
 
Well, I have a double-barrel surname to begin with, but my wife took my surname without adding hers.
 
It's never been an issue for me. My first wife never took my surname and I never asked her to. When we divorced she had less paperwork to do I guess.

My second wife applied for new passport and ID book the week after we where married. I never requested her to and it was a great gesture on her part that made me fell very proud.

I think it's a great way to show the 'team spirit' involved in a marriage.

What I do find odd is when people split up and don't change their married name back to their maiden name. I've not really thought it through in detail but I do find it odd.
 
According to South African law...

These are your options…
(a) You may assume your intended husband’s surname after marriage.
(b) You may resume a surname which you bore at any prior time.
(c) You may join your maiden name or a previous married name with the surname of your intended husband.
(d) You may retain your maiden name.
 
Voicy said:
If you do not take on the husband's surname ... does that mean your father does not have to walk down the isle to "give you away" anymore?

I'm just curious to see which traditions we keep and which we discard ... it seems a lot like quoting the bible to suit our own agenda. Only follow the rules we are happy with and ignore the rest...

Is it then not better to just be declared common-law partners?
Click to expand...


It depends whether you get married for reasons of tradition or for money or for love or whatever else.


And sorry to be rude, but for the nth time on this forum: SA LAW DOES NOT RECOGNISE ANYTHING EVEN APPROXIMATING A COMMON-LAW MARRIAGE. You are either married, or not.
 
Voicy said:
Is it then not better to just be declared common-law partners?
Click to expand...

Being married vs. staying 'common law partners' (if that exists - for Blu) and changing names have got very little to do with each other.

Being married is more about the names you call each other than the name in your ID book.
 
Waaib said:
What I do find odd is when people split up and don't change their married name back to their maiden name. I've not really thought it through in detail but I do find it odd.
Click to expand...


This one got Mr Blu upset! He saw that his former wife still uses his name and he asked her to give it up. He is an incredibly patient man and almost never get angry or irked, so I am not sure why it troubled him so much??
 
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