When marrying, which surname do you take?

Voicy said:
Hi friends,

Since men and women have equal rights and so on ... how much weight is still put on keeping the husband's surname instead of going for double-barreled ones?

Personally I would expect someone to take my surname if I was the one who asked her to marry...but quite a few women lately are adamant that the surnames be joined.

What's your take on this?
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I think it matters more to the men in a sense... Also, if there are any kids they will have the mother's surname and not the father's if they don't have the same surname, even though he's the bialogical father he'll have to "adopt" them to have their surnames changed. Personally I'd take my hubby's surname.
 
I'm not sure if you're joking or highly confused...
 
When i get married i will take my husband's surname. Doesn't bother me if i lose my yucky porra surname :p
 
Serqet said:
When i get married i will take my husband's surname. Doesn't bother me if i lose my yucky porra surname :p
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Yea, if its pora lose it. Just like all the soccer tournaments in which they play.
:D
 
We should keep the current tradition. It helps to be able to trace the family line. You wouldn't want to marry your cousin accidentally, now would you.
 
Waaib said:
It's never been an issue for me. My first wife never took my surname and I never asked her to. When we divorced she had less paperwork to do I guess.
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Makes no difference either way.

I think it's a great way to show the 'team spirit' involved in a marriage.
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And how many men are willing to show this team spirit by taking their wife's surname?

What I do find odd is when people split up and don't change their married name back to their maiden name. I've not really thought it through in detail but I do find it odd.
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Nothing odd about it. There is no requirement to do so. And it would also be a huge hassle.

Voicy said:
If you do not take on the husband's surname ... does that mean your father does not have to walk down the isle to "give you away" anymore?

I'm just curious to see which traditions we keep and which we discard ... it seems a lot like quoting the bible to suit our own agenda. Only follow the rules we are happy with and ignore the rest...
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Next you're going to tell me some people no longer view marriage as a property exchange wherein a man, the father, sells an object he owns, his daughter, to another man, the husband.

A lot of what we think of as a traditional wedding only came into being in the last 600 years or so.

Giving a diamond ring is very modern.

In some places it was or is common standard practice to have a hyphenated surname. In others the standard practice was for both partners to keep their birth surname.

These things change all the time. Culture and tradition are fluid.

blunomore said:
This one got Mr Blu upset! He saw that his former wife still uses his name and he asked her to give it up.
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I suppose if he is willing to do all the work to have it done, then asking her to do so could be considered reasonable.

Sackboy said:
We should keep the current tradition.
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Which one?

You wouldn't want to marry your cousin accidentally, now would you.
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And how are your children going to know who to avoid on whichever side's name was discarded?
 
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My wife kept her own surname (it's a nice one). More than that, our son was given her surname. My daughter has my surname.
 
The thing I dont understand is women go on about wanting to keep THEIR family surnames ... but imagine if their mothers had the same attitude, then their prized surname would be completely different.

I believe in chivalry, but this is one point that I'd be hard-arsed about.
 
Personally, if I ever got married, I would take my husbands surname. I guess I just belive in tradition. I don't like double barreled surnames, as my surname is long enough already ;)
 
well, my fiancee sure had a change of heart- shes going with my surname (just asked her), but i have to que with here every where it needs to be changed :D
 
I added my husband's onto mine, but not hyphenated.

I have to confess though, I have not officially changed it everywhere I have accounts, contracts etc. That's a LOT of work :)
 
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