Why have kids?

[cerebus]

Just what is says. People that have a kid like that probably wishes, "I wish I never had kid(s).".

They might do, it's a risk you face. You can go without taking any risks whatsoever, I suppose that's a viable option. But I'd imagine the parents of heroin addicts etc didn't do much of a job of it on the whole... There will be some exceptions, but largely good parents produce emotionally healthy children. Rapists were probably abused themselves; terrorists were likely neglected, and so on. If you aren't responsible enough to conceive of why you'd want a child in the first place, you might not be the right person to raise one. You might think it's rude, but then you might also have some maturing to do.

 

[satanboy]

I wanna have children, and it makes sense if I have children, I'm genetically fit, attractive, tall, intelligent, have no hereditary diseases (ok, there's kidney issues, but I might be lucky here... ).

However, I'd only have children when I'm more than capable of looking after them .

I can't argue with that, but why?

 

[marine1]

Personally I can't stand kids, noisy little irritating ****s too many people in the world already

 

[murraybiscuit]

I wanna have children, and it makes sense if I have children, I'm genetically fit, attractive, tall, intelligent, have no hereditary diseases (ok, there's kidney issues, but I might be lucky here... ).

However, I'd only have children when I'm more than capable of looking after them .

assuming you and your partner are fertile. that's becoming an increasing problem these days.
it would be interesting to see whether it's increasing across all social strata, or if it's more prevalent in the stressed-out career-focused members higher up maslow's heirarchy.

 

[Cruelty]

First kid : condoms don't work
Second kid : nor does the pill
(no further kids) : The marena loop does work

 

[murraybiscuit]

I can't argue with that, but why?

1. biological urge
2. somebody has to stick their hand up in order for the next generation to be produced.

 

[bwana]

I have sex because it is a bonding experience and it is fun too.

So is having kids.

 

[TJ99]

Personally I can't stand kids, noisy little irritating ****s too many people in the world already

Agree 100%. I can't stand children. Didn't even like them when I was a kid myself.

Always running around, screaming, crying, talking gibberish, looking for attention... They're like little mini-Malemas basically.

 

[satanboy]

...There will be some exceptions, but largely good parents produce emotionally healthy children...

The sad part is that many parents believe that they are good, but I have seen the evidence of the opposite too many times. Sure they love their kids, but their parenting skills are woeful.

Shoving tons of sweets down toddlers throats like foie gras ducks.
Taking the kids to day care at 6am and picking them up at 6pm again.
Setting them up in front of a TV for 6 hours at a time.
Smoking in the same room/car as the kids.
Having sex in the same room as the kids.

These are statements of real people that I personally know.

 

[TJ99]

The sad part is that many parents believe that they are good, but I have seen the evidence of the opposite too many times. Sure they love their kids, but their parenting skills are woeful.

Shoving tons of sweets down toddlers throats like foie gras ducks.
Taking the kids to day care at 6am and picking them up at 6pm again.
Setting them up in front of a TV for 6 hours at a time.
Smoking in the same room/car as the kids.
Having sex in the same room as the kids.

These are statements of real people that I personally know.

True, even though I can't stand kids, I find stuff like this very cruel, it's getting as bad as America. Now there's some bad parenting.

 

[satanboy]

You might think it's rude, but then you might also have some maturing to do.

I think making an adult decision to NOT have kids (and follow through with a vasectomy) is a pretty mature thing to do. I may be wrong.

 

[wise_guy]

Those that can't stand kids will probabaly end up having them anyway.Its already been decided.

 

[cerebus]

The sad part is that many parents believe that they are good, but I have seen the evidence of the opposite too many times. Sure they love their kids, but their parenting skills are woeful.

so...what are you saying? that people with woeful parenting skills shouldn't raise children? It sounds like you're just pessimistic in general about the human race. The human race is as good or as bad as the people it composes. If the overwhelming majority are being raised by unqualified, terrible parents, what do you think the world would become? What I'm saying is a legitimate reason to have children would be if you could raise them to be contributing citizens. It's not luck, it does take work, and it can be done with the right parenting approach.

I think making an adult decision to NOT have kids (and follow through with a vasectomy) is a pretty mature thing to do. I may be wrong.

It might or might not be.. It certainly isn't mature to categorically state that there isn't any good reason to have children, or that those who do have them will just end up producing monsters so you're backing out of the race altogether.

 

[marine1]

Not saying I won't have but I do hate them, dirty, noisy etc etc

 

[Savanah]

I'm actually not sure what you're getting at with this. Nobody is forcing you to have children. Maybe the world would be a better place if you didn't. So be content with your choice, I certainly don't want to persuade you out of it.

What he said ^^

 

[KSINGH]

we had a kid cos we just wanted to. we got dogs before that. may adopt kid/s as well. that is all.

 

[LazyLion]

I am not trying to attack anyone that has children. Having them just makes no sense to me.

So it is a selfish thing...you want to bring more people into an overpopulated planet just so that you can have MORE love, joy and friendship. This is not an attack on you, just an observation.

I find that my partner gives me more than enough love and friendship.

These two posts are contradictory. You say you do not want to attack anybody but are just interested, but then in the next post you show us that you have already pretty much made up your mind and view anyone who has kids as being selfish.

Why did you start this thread if you already have such opinions? Just to mock people and give yourself a platform to justify your own life decisions?

If you have already made your mind up, then learn to live with that. But the fact that you need to create this thread shows one of two things.

Either you are insecure with your own decision, or you feel prideful enough about your decision that you see the need to lord it over others.

Why can't you just learn to live with your own decisions and leave others to live with theirs?

 

[satanboy]

... It certainly isn't mature to categorically state that there isn't any good reason to have children, or that those who do have them will just end up producing monsters so you're backing out of the race altogether.

Isn't it?
I didn't say all children will turn into these monsters. Nelson Mandela and Gandhi were kids once upon a time after all and look how they turned out.

 

[Dean]

well, there really aren't any objective reasons imo.
procreation is a moot point.
preservation of wealth is a moot point (depending on your social status).

the world has changed and having kids nowadays imo is mainly for selfish ends:
- you feel feel happier if you conform to perceived social pressures
- you like the idea of somebody looking out for you when you get old
- your partner wants kids and a happy partner makes you happy
- you think kids will impart purpose, significance and affirmation in your life

i guess there's no inherent problem in being selfish.
there's also the biological urge to procreate, and while biology isn't an excuse for behaviour, it does motivate it.

very well-written, and hard to fault. pretty much sums up why I feel no good reason to have kids...

 

[LazyLion]

Just go visit an old age home on a Sunday and ask the people there where their kids are.

Wow, you really are bitter about life. So that is all you have to look forward to? Loneliness and regret?

I actually do visit a lot of old age homes.... as part of our church ministry.

And yes, there are a few there who have been cast aside. But there are far more that are happy, their families visit them regularly and they are still able to give joy to others.

I find when I visit elderly people that I actually get more of a blessing FROM them, that I can give TO them.

And most of the time it is them telling me about their lives and their families and how proud they are of their kids.

This thread is nothing more than you trying to justify a bad decision to yourself... a decision that you already seem to have regrets over.