With friends like these...

Pitbull said:
"We need to help you and support you so that you can heal from this"
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You assume I'm looking for help and support? No. I have put more than enough mechanisms into place for my own sanity etc. I am no longer in a relationship with the guy and there are a whole whack of issues leading up to my attendance at the wedding.

Once again i would like to reiterate that my only purpose for posting on that particular situation was to illustrate the pack mentality of some people. I just get tired of hypocrisy. All these big men who profess to be the last knight in shining armour, the testosterone fuelled neanderthal who makes sweeping statements of how he would kill any man who would lay a hand on a woman blah blah blah fishpaste. Truth of the matter is we're all fscking cowards. Humans are self serving power hungry attention whores whose only priority in life is their own personal fulfillment.

I just wanted to put it out there that you cannot believe a man when he says : 'i would never stand by and let that happen', or 'if he ever does it again...'
 
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I'm sorry but it's seems like you are trying to direct the attention away from the problem here. Seriously, re-read the thread sit back and think about it for a while. There is some pretty good advice here ;)
 
almostgone said:
You assume I'm looking for help and support? No. I have put more than enough mechanisms into place for my own sanity etc. I am no longer in a relationship with the guy and there are a whole whack of issues leading up to my attendance at the wedding.

Once again i would like to reiterate that my only purpose for posting on that particular situation was to illustrate the pack mentality of some people. I just get tired of hypocrisy. All these big men who profess to be the last night in shining armour, the testosterone fuelled neanderthal who makes sweeping statements of how he would kill any man who would lay a hand on a woman blah blah blah fishpaste. Truth of the matter is we're all fscking cowards. Humans are self serving power hungry attention whores whose only priority in life is there own personal fulfillment.

I just wanted to put it out there thatyou cannot believe a man when he says : 'i would never stand by and let that happen', or 'if he ever does it again...'
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As much as you are complaining about the pack mentallity, you have the power to do something about it yet you don't...

I just want to know how you are going to feel if he rapes someone else.
 
You cannot judge the whole male species because of one idiot. Your ex doesn't sound like an upstanding guy and he wont associate with men who are.
 
Yeah there is lots of good advice - despite my knee jerk reactions I do actually see the words people are putting out there. If there is one thing i know with full clarity its that on this topic my mind is about as clear as a mudpool.My concepts of right /wrong, guilty / not guilty, appropriate / inappropriate etc etc are completely muddled.

So screw you for saying I'm stupid but thanks at the same time.

Gah. I think I'm trying to get angry at the wrong people because I cant seem to get angry at my ex.

*wanders off to find freud*
 
almostgone said:
You assume I'm looking for help and support? No. I have put more than enough mechanisms into place for my own sanity etc. I am no longer in a relationship with the guy and there are a whole whack of issues leading up to my attendance at the wedding.

Once again i would like to reiterate that my only purpose for posting on that particular situation was to illustrate the pack mentality of some people. I just get tired of hypocrisy. All these big men who profess to be the last knight in shining armour, the testosterone fuelled neanderthal who makes sweeping statements of how he would kill any man who would lay a hand on a woman blah blah blah fishpaste. Truth of the matter is we're all fscking cowards. Humans are self serving power hungry attention whores whose only priority in life is there own personal fulfillment.

I just wanted to put it out there thatyou cannot believe a man when he says : 'i would never stand by and let that happen', or 'if he ever does it again...'
Click to expand...

Let me tell you a little something since I missed this little part :o I wish my wife would respond to your statement.

I'm a man, I've had more testosterone in my body than most normal men will ever have ;) I have never done my wife wrong. The thing allot of people in relationships don't get is that for a healthy and successful relationship you both need to be the lesser part.

Let me explain. No matter how strong, big or testosterone high I am, I always respect my wife, and she does the same. It's all about the "YOU" factor. If you have an argument, YOU should say sorry first. If your partner asks you something "YOU" agree. Even if you don't like it. It's called compromise.

Let's make an example:

I want to go on a bike rally with the boys. I know what my wife will think the second I ask her. However, I know she will let me go regardless of how she feels about it. Reasons:

. She lets me be me.
. She understands my needs and will compromise to keep me happy.

Now I know how she will feel about it, so I will get the go ahead, and will compromise with her also. I will get on the bike and only ride through to the rally for the day and come back. (She said I can go for the whole weekend.)

This way I keep her happy also.

There is 2x YOU in a relationship. Not just YOU ! Sure you get people who only want from a relationship and never give. But that is the world for you. Seriously I would never have a successful relationship with anyone other than my wife. Because we understood this YOU part right from the first date. No one ever said anything in this regard. We both live by the same kinda of code if you wana call it that.

You are just in a fk'd up relationship and blame everyone but yourself ;) Like you just labeled all men under this little highlighted part :p
 
Pitbull said:
Let me tell you a little something since I missed this little part :o I wish my wife would respond to your statement.

I'm a man, I've had more testosterone in my body than most normal men will ever have ;) I have never done my wife wrong. The thing allot of people in relationships don't get is that for a healthy and successful relationship you both need to be the lesser part.

Let me explain. No matter how strong, big or testosterone high I am, I always respect my wife, and she does the same. It's all about the "YOU" factor. If you have an argument, YOU should say sorry first. If your partner asks you something "YOU" agree. Even if you don't like it. It's called compromise.

Let's make an example:

I want to go on a bike rally with the boys. I know what my wife will think the second I ask her. However, I know she will let me go regardless of how she feels about it. Reasons:

. She lets me be me.
. She understands my needs and will compromise to keep me happy.

Now I know how she will feel about it, so I will get the go ahead, and will compromise with her also. I will get on the bike and only ride through to the rally for the day and come back. (She said I can go for the whole weekend.)

This way I keep her happy also.

There is 2x YOU in a relationship. Not just YOU ! Sure you get people who only want from a relationship and never give. But that is the world for you. Seriously I would never have a successful relationship with anyone other than my wife. Because we understood this YOU part right from the first date. No one ever said anything in this regard. We both live by the same kinda of code if you wana call it that.

You are just in a fk'd up relationship and blame everyone but yourself ;) Like you just labeled all men under this little highlighted part :p
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No, I was in a fscked up relationship where I was made to take all the blame. I am more than aware of my own mistakes and have on many many occassions expressed as much and have taken steps to show it. I have never stopped my partner from doing what he wants because I know that that is how i would lose him. I know this because every time he stopped me i took one step further away from him. So please, before you decide to make personal statements on who and what I am all about I ask you to ensure you restrict your judgements to the facts you have. Anything unsaid is unsaid for a reason and it is not your place to point fingers. The information that HAS been shared is there for all to consume as they see fit, but anything else is pure speculation.
 
No, I mean... what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway? Just asking for trouble IMO.
 
I have never stopped my partner from doing what he wants because I know that that is how i would lose him
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If your partner hurt children, would you not stop him for fear of loosing him?

Why is it okay for him to physically and emotionally hurt you?
 
almostgone said:
No, I was in a fscked up relationship where I was made to take all the blame. I am more than aware of my own mistakes and have on many many occassions expressed as much and have taken steps to show it. I have never stopped my partner from doing what he wants because I know that that is how i would lose him. I know this because every time he stopped me i took one step further away from him. So please, before you decide to make personal statements on who and what I am all about I ask you to ensure you restrict your judgements to the facts you have. Anything unsaid is unsaid for a reason and it is not your place to point fingers. The information that HAS been shared is there for all to consume as they see fit, but anything else is pure speculation.
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Ok well the facts state you have not done anything to put a rapist behind bars...

He is free to do it again to someone else. Those are the facts.
 
almostgone said:
No, I was in a fscked up relationship where I was made to take all the blame. I am more than aware of my own mistakes and have on many many occassions expressed as much and have taken steps to show it. I have never stopped my partner from doing what he wants because I know that that is how i would lose him. I know this because every time he stopped me i took one step further away from him. So please, before you decide to make personal statements on who and what I am all about I ask you to ensure you restrict your judgements to the facts you have. Anything unsaid is unsaid for a reason and it is not your place to point fingers. The information that HAS been shared is there for all to consume as they see fit, but anything else is pure speculation.
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I guess you took offence to where I said "You are in a fk'd up relationship and blame everyone but yourself"

If that is so, you have just proven my point ;)

But so much for free advice :p Your next consultation will be charged for :D
 
So what if the guy in question is an active and involved member of this here MyBB 'community'?
 
almostgone said:
So what if the guy in question is an active and involved member of this here MyBB 'community'?
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So what ?

You know the guy better than anyone of us could ever imagine. But your still with him :confused: You still social with the guy which is just as good as still being in a relationship. I couldn’t care less if he's part of the MyBB community of even if he's the President of the USA. He has nothing to do with this as it is. He is the party at fault and you are actually supporting his behavior as you are still with him.

To not be able to see the link in this chain is beyond even my limited comprehension
 
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