Ya boi needs some advice...

airborne said:
And the corollary to that one - Don't get your honey where you pay your money...
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He's got to keep trying right... Perhaps he should just pay to get some honey.
 
Agent69 said:
On WhatsApp she’s generally relaxed and playful. She jokes, sends voice notes, and we’ve had some genuinely good conversations. Recently she even said we have each other’s back and referred to our “undercover friendship.” She’s also called me “cute” jokingly and teased me a bit.

But in person the dynamic is completely different. Sometimes she’s nervous or fidgety around me. Sometimes she avoids eye contact or me completely in group situations or seems like she wants to end conversations quickly. There have even been times where she physically ran out of a room when I walked in (looked like a deer in headlights). Yet other times when we’re alone (she shares her office with someone), she’ll stare at me until I come over to talk to her, laugh at my jokes, or start chatting normally. She's even given me brownies and I've given her oreos, etc.
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She wants to bang you but doesn't want to make the first move, hence the nervous behaviour.

My advice is don't schit where you eat...
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
She wants to bang you but doesn't want to make the first move, hence the nervous behaviour.

My advice is don't schit where you eat...
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Honestly, just leave her alone, with all the crap we've seen with false accusations and and... Probably better to remain single @Smiggles will know, he will advise you to get an Apple of sorts, it will comfort you.
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
She wants to bang you but doesn't want to make the first move, hence the nervous behaviour.

My advice is don't schit where you eat...
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This is SAGE ADVICE.


and stop with the whatsapp chatty chatty girlie best friend BS . She's one emotional tug away from being a Fiend.

Relook at her outside the workplace, and the glamour may very well be gone.
 
Agent69 said:
but often it’s joking, venting about work
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Next time she vents say something like: "wanna go grab a quick coffee and have a proper vent? HR is really pissing me off today and texting just isn't cutting it".

Low stakes, easy for her to say yes or no and doesn't really change anything going forward. Obviously if she says yes, well - then you're in 'we should do this again' territory.
 
Agent69 said:
This is probably my first post on myBB in a long time (haven't been doing much pol posting because work + studies are moering me, anyway...)

So I’m in a bit of a confusing situation with a coworker and I genuinely don’t know what to make of it anymore. I’m hoping for some outside perspective because at this point I feel like I’ve been stuck in my own head about it for weeks. Arguing with myself, trying to figure things out, etc.

For context: we work together since September and have neighbouring offices (next-door to each other). From the start of the year, we’ve been talking on WhatsApp almost every day (she initiated at the start of January, suddenly got my number off the work group). Before that we did interact here and there. Sometimes it’s work-related, but often it’s joking, venting about work, sharing gifs, just talking, etc. She has opened up to me about stress and feeling overwhelmed with work and I’ve tried to be supportive when she vents. She has also thanked me directly for the emotional support before.

Here’s where it gets confusing.

On WhatsApp she’s generally relaxed and playful. She jokes, sends voice notes, and we’ve had some genuinely good conversations. Recently she even said we have each other’s back and referred to our “undercover friendship.” She’s also called me “cute” jokingly and teased me a bit.

But in person the dynamic is completely different. Sometimes she’s nervous or fidgety around me. Sometimes she avoids eye contact or me completely in group situations or seems like she wants to end conversations quickly. There have even been times where she physically ran out of a room when I walked in (looked like a deer in headlights). Yet other times when we’re alone (she shares her office with someone), she’ll stare at me until I come over to talk to her, laugh at my jokes, or start chatting normally. She's even given me brownies and I've given her oreos, etc.

So it feels like a constant push-pull. Another thing that confuses me is that she clearly notices things about me. She’ll comment on my mood, tease me about things I’ve said before, and remember small details (I've also noticed she's learnt the sound of my footsteps). But then other times she’ll leave messages on read, suddenly go quiet or not talk to me for a long time.

So I’m over here thinking: "What the **** is going on?".

But then some of her behaviour (the nervousness, the staring, the “undercover friendship” comment, etc.) makes me wonder if there’s something else going on that she’s hesitant about, especially since workplace gossip is a thing. To complicate things further, she used to talk a lot about a “special person” in her life earlier in the year but hasn’t mentioned him at all since end of January.

I mean if there was absolutely nothing there, why get so nervous around me? Why physically run away sometimes? Why does seem to want to hide the fact that we talk? Why tease me? Etc, etc, etc

I genuinely don't understand what's going on.

So my question to you guys is basically: "What do?"
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TheMightyQuin said:
Never schit where you eat, buddy.

It is a very basic and well known rule.
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Smiggles said:
Don’t get your honey where you get your money. Rule as old as time.
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Mike Hoxbig said:
My advice is don't schit where you eat...
Click to expand...

OP, read these guys above's responses. If unsure, reread it again. In fact, read it as many times as it takes for you to understand it.

Let it go, no matter how good she looks, it's not worth it.
 
Azbubu said:
He can always find another job but he’s never going to find another girl interested in him.
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Listen, this economy is fcked, and that's even before the butt fcking we're about to receive in April with the fuel and electricity increases, so if the above is true this guy must be really ugly. Even then, I'd still say it's not worth it. Unless he is really rich and don't care much for his job.
 
Agent69 said:
This is probably my first post on myBB in a long time (haven't been doing much pol posting because work + studies are moering me, anyway...)

So I’m in a bit of a confusing situation with a coworker and I genuinely don’t know what to make of it anymore. I’m hoping for some outside perspective because at this point I feel like I’ve been stuck in my own head about it for weeks. Arguing with myself, trying to figure things out, etc.

For context: we work together since September and have neighbouring offices (next-door to each other). From the start of the year, we’ve been talking on WhatsApp almost every day (she initiated at the start of January, suddenly got my number off the work group). Before that we did interact here and there. Sometimes it’s work-related, but often it’s joking, venting about work, sharing gifs, just talking, etc. She has opened up to me about stress and feeling overwhelmed with work and I’ve tried to be supportive when she vents. She has also thanked me directly for the emotional support before.

Here’s where it gets confusing.

On WhatsApp she’s generally relaxed and playful. She jokes, sends voice notes, and we’ve had some genuinely good conversations. Recently she even said we have each other’s back and referred to our “undercover friendship.” She’s also called me “cute” jokingly and teased me a bit.

But in person the dynamic is completely different. Sometimes she’s nervous or fidgety around me. Sometimes she avoids eye contact or me completely in group situations or seems like she wants to end conversations quickly. There have even been times where she physically ran out of a room when I walked in (looked like a deer in headlights). Yet other times when we’re alone (she shares her office with someone), she’ll stare at me until I come over to talk to her, laugh at my jokes, or start chatting normally. She's even given me brownies and I've given her oreos, etc.

So it feels like a constant push-pull. Another thing that confuses me is that she clearly notices things about me. She’ll comment on my mood, tease me about things I’ve said before, and remember small details (I've also noticed she's learnt the sound of my footsteps). But then other times she’ll leave messages on read, suddenly go quiet or not talk to me for a long time.

So I’m over here thinking: "What the **** is going on?".

But then some of her behaviour (the nervousness, the staring, the “undercover friendship” comment, etc.) makes me wonder if there’s something else going on that she’s hesitant about, especially since workplace gossip is a thing. To complicate things further, she used to talk a lot about a “special person” in her life earlier in the year but hasn’t mentioned him at all since end of January.

I mean if there was absolutely nothing there, why get so nervous around me? Why physically run away sometimes? Why does seem to want to hide the fact that we talk? Why tease me? Etc, etc, etc

I genuinely don't understand what's going on.

So my question to you guys is basically: "What do?"
Click to expand...
Leave her the fek alone.. Sounds like a crazy one..
 
Dated plenty of ladies from work over the years and it’s never been an issue even once.

Different story if you are literally in the same team, but even then where else are you going to meet people.

It’s a non-issue. Just don’t be a ******** in general.
 
saor said:
Next time she vents say something like: "wanna go grab a quick coffee and have a proper vent? HR is really pissing me off today and texting just isn't cutting it".

Low stakes, easy for her to say yes or no and doesn't really change anything going forward. Obviously if she says yes, well - then you're in 'we should do this again' territory.
Click to expand...
Actual nice advice. I'll keep that in mind.
 
Agent69 said:
8... :rolleyes:

And I'm on the spectrum, so it's hard for me to read people's intentions, etc.
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I was thinking maybe a little broader like 20s, 30s, 40s… but ok.
 
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