Ya boi needs some advice...

Agent69 said:
This is probably my first post on myBB in a long time (haven't been doing much pol posting because work + studies are moering me, anyway...)

So I’m in a bit of a confusing situation with a coworker and I genuinely don’t know what to make of it anymore. I’m hoping for some outside perspective because at this point I feel like I’ve been stuck in my own head about it for weeks. Arguing with myself, trying to figure things out, etc.

For context: we work together since September and have neighbouring offices (next-door to each other). From the start of the year, we’ve been talking on WhatsApp almost every day (she initiated at the start of January, suddenly got my number off the work group). Before that we did interact here and there. Sometimes it’s work-related, but often it’s joking, venting about work, sharing gifs, just talking, etc. She has opened up to me about stress and feeling overwhelmed with work and I’ve tried to be supportive when she vents. She has also thanked me directly for the emotional support before.

Here’s where it gets confusing.

On WhatsApp she’s generally relaxed and playful. She jokes, sends voice notes, and we’ve had some genuinely good conversations. Recently she even said we have each other’s back. She’s also called me “cute” jokingly and teased me a bit.

But in person the dynamic is completely different. Sometimes she’s nervous or fidgety around me. Sometimes she avoids eye contact or me completely in group situations or seems like she wants to end conversations quickly. There have even been times where she physically ran out of a room when I walked in (looked like a deer in headlights). Yet other times when we’re alone (she shares her office with someone), she’ll stare at me until I come over to talk to her, laugh at my jokes, or start chatting normally.

So it feels like a constant push-pull. Another thing that confuses me is that she clearly notices things about me. She’ll comment on my mood, tease me about things I’ve said before, and remember small details (I've also noticed she's learnt the sound of my footsteps). But then other times she’ll leave messages on read, suddenly go quiet or not talk to me for a long time.

So I’m over here thinking: "What the **** is going on?".

But then some of her behaviour (the nervousness, the staring, etc.) makes me wonder if there’s something else going on that she’s hesitant about, especially since workplace gossip is a thing. To complicate things further, she used to talk a lot about a “special person” in her life earlier in the year but hasn’t mentioned him at all since end of January.

I mean if there was absolutely nothing there, why get so nervous around me? Why physically run away sometimes? Why does seem to want to hide the fact that we talk? Why tease me? Etc, etc, etc

I genuinely don't understand what's going on.

So my question to you guys is basically: "What do?"
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Bro

At least when she murders you we will know why. Thanks for the share.

Will bookmark the thread for when the cops come asking.

Anyway, run a mile while you can. This is not how normal woman act.
 
On the whole dating coworkers thing I have actually become ambivalent. Casual dating/hookup culture, sure, stay away. That leads to disaster. However if the person is a genuinely great catch and it has the potential to go the distance (marriage) go for it. You only get so many chances to meet the person you hopefully spend the rest of your life with and that may be it. Easier to find a new job than a really good partner. I know of several very happily married couples who met at work. One of my colleagues is married to someone she met at work and they still work at the same company 25 years later in different departments. If you keep it professional I don't see why not. Perhaps don't go for an immediate super physical relationship and hang out casually for a bit to figure out if it's worth committing to something more. Should not take more than 3 months in my opinion to know if it's an obvious red flag.

And to me this lady sounds like someone that is typical Gen Z. They are nervous in person, more confident on tech. It's a thing of this younger generation. My own daughter had to get a date for a school ball event 2 weeks ago and she eventually asked the guy over whatsapp as she was too nervous to do it face to face. Blew my mind that something like that was not done face to face. They seem to prefer it somehow. So your call, but understand if you do this and it ends messily it may require one of you to job hunt. Good luck.
 
Look if you’re honest about your intentions and you don’t treat her like trash if things don’t pan out, it shouldn’t interfere with your work relationship.
1. Behave like adults
2. Be honest about your intentions
2. Use protection
4. Have fun.
If it doesn’t work out, see point one and two and move on.
 
FiestaST said:
For most people 23 = young, dumb & full of....

I (somewhat) understand the need for the Q now.
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Most of the trouble I've been in over my whole life was in that time.
Brawler said:
Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

Have a pluk before work to keep the head clear and out of trouble.
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OP, these guys are giving you some solid advise.
Cius said:
On the whole dating coworkers thing I have actually become ambivalent. Casual dating/hookup culture, sure, stay away. That leads to disaster. However if the person is a genuinely great catch and it has the potential to go the distance (marriage) go for it. You only get so many chances to meet the person you hopefully spend the rest of your life with and that may be it. Easier to find a new job than a really good partner. I know of several very happily married couples who met at work. One of my colleagues is married to someone she met at work and they still work at the same company 25 years later in different departments. If you keep it professional I don't see why not. Perhaps don't go for an immediate super physical relationship and hang out casually for a bit to figure out if it's worth committing to something more. Should not take more than 3 months in my opinion to know if it's an obvious red flag.

And to me this lady sounds like someone that is typical Gen Z. They are nervous in person, more confident on tech. It's a thing of this younger generation. My own daughter had to get a date for a school ball event 2 weeks ago and she eventually asked the guy over whatsapp as she was too nervous to do it face to face. Blew my mind that something like that was not done face to face. They seem to prefer it somehow. So your call, but understand if you do this and it ends messily it may require one of you to job hunt. Good luck.
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I work with two couples that met at work and are married, one couple even works in the same department, and it works for them. But I've seen many many more instances of things going to crap, really fast. Hence the saying, don't **** where you eat.
 
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It is a bit difficult to help people on a forum if you don't know the real situation.
How can we forget that clown here that said after a girl at worked smiled at him, it was a F$%k me now smile or something like that.
Some crazy men on this forum.
 
Agent69 said:
This is probably my first post on myBB in a long time (haven't been doing much pol posting because work + studies are moering me, anyway...)

So I’m in a bit of a confusing situation with a coworker and I genuinely don’t know what to make of it anymore. I’m hoping for some outside perspective because at this point I feel like I’ve been stuck in my own head about it for weeks. Arguing with myself, trying to figure things out, etc.

For context: we work together since September and have neighbouring offices (next-door to each other). From the start of the year, we’ve been talking on WhatsApp almost every day (she initiated at the start of January, suddenly got my number off the work group). Before that we did interact here and there. Sometimes it’s work-related, but often it’s joking, venting about work, sharing gifs, just talking, etc. She has opened up to me about stress and feeling overwhelmed with work and I’ve tried to be supportive when she vents. She has also thanked me directly for the emotional support before.

Here’s where it gets confusing.

On WhatsApp she’s generally relaxed and playful. She jokes, sends voice notes, and we’ve had some genuinely good conversations. Recently she even said we have each other’s back. She’s also called me “cute” jokingly and teased me a bit.

But in person the dynamic is completely different. Sometimes she’s nervous or fidgety around me. Sometimes she avoids eye contact or me completely in group situations or seems like she wants to end conversations quickly. There have even been times where she physically ran out of a room when I walked in (looked like a deer in headlights). Yet other times when we’re alone (she shares her office with someone), she’ll stare at me until I come over to talk to her, laugh at my jokes, or start chatting normally.

So it feels like a constant push-pull. Another thing that confuses me is that she clearly notices things about me. She’ll comment on my mood, tease me about things I’ve said before, and remember small details (I've also noticed she's learnt the sound of my footsteps). But then other times she’ll leave messages on read, suddenly go quiet or not talk to me for a long time.

So I’m over here thinking: "What the **** is going on?".

But then some of her behaviour (the nervousness, the staring, etc.) makes me wonder if there’s something else going on that she’s hesitant about, especially since workplace gossip is a thing. To complicate things further, she used to talk a lot about a “special person” in her life earlier in the year but hasn’t mentioned him at all since end of January.

I mean if there was absolutely nothing there, why get so nervous around me? Why physically run away sometimes? Why does seem to want to hide the fact that we talk? Why tease me? Etc, etc, etc

I genuinely don't understand what's going on.

So my question to you guys is basically: "What do?"
Click to expand...
Sound like you have quiet the keeper there…

1773829690115.gif


Just make sure which version of Patrica you have.

GG
 
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