Venomous
Honorary Master
another point...
a child is entitled to a safe and secure place to live.
it does not say live in a home with his/her parents.
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Question of the Day: Main reasons you wouldn't get an EV?
A long story perhaps, but one I need some good, solid advice on...
- Thread starter Strusbob
- Start date
a child is entitled to a safe and secure place to live.
it does not say live in a home with his/her parents.
It's not surprising that social services favour the biological family. It's demonstrably true that if a family can be salvaged it is better for the children than ripping them away from their parents. Social workers are also doing something where it is impossible to have truly workable hard and fast rules, or get things right all the time. In my experience no matter what rules they are supposed to follow they get it wrong more often than right.
This is reasonable advice. It's a circumstance where grassing is an acceptable response.
They're unlikely to switch unless they can't get their drug of choice. Of course one could buy heroin and sneak it into the methamphetamine.
Not really true. Before methamphetamine it was some other drug. Take away methamphetamine and these people will find something else to abuse.
Not really spreading. It's been in general use amongst the more affluent for a good 15-20 years.
my thoughts on this is that you need to try get custody of the foster child. approach the courts or child welfare. if this fails then you need to really think this lot through and forget about the child because sometimes life just is like that. it either is for us or against us and if it works out that you gain custody of the foster child then so be it. but you need to put your own child first now and bring your child up in an environment that is not of the one you are presently in. you need to get the hell out of this house because you sure don't want to have your child witnessing all the drama going on. it will be unfair on your child if you don't give him/her a fair chance in life.
My friend, let me sketch you a little scenario here: a 3 month old child gets placed in your arms and stays there for the next 7 or so years. You put all your love, all your energy and most of your time into her, and she is like your own, sees you as mom and/or dad, comes to you for everything, loves you all around the world and back, gives you more joy than most adults could and, most of all, is INNOCENT as only a child could be. So please, before you say 'forget about the child' think about what you're saying. You might as well tell my wife and I to give up on our own biological kid because there is absolutely NO difference in this instance. Sure, maybe if they're older and you only get involved then. But from fragile little baby to 7 years of age? You can forget it, and anyone who has the ability to do such a thing should not be involved with children in the first place.
Cheers.
+1 , you cannot honestly say "leave the child". Not a chance in hell will that happen regardless of the circumstances.
My opinion, get sneaky footage of the parents being addicts , hit up child welfare and try get custody with said footage showing they are unfit. Sorry to hear about your situation, sounds extremely tough and big ups to you and your wife, i hope it works out.
My opinion, get sneaky footage of the parents being addicts , hit up child welfare and try get custody with said footage showing they are unfit. Sorry to hear about your situation, sounds extremely tough and big ups to you and your wife, i hope it works out.
D3nz
Honorary Master
TheMightyQuin
Not amused...
Either you have not read what the OP said about raising this child, OR you are hopefully not a parent yourself. "...forget about the child..." OMG
Ja nee... I don't quite get where these people fall out of the bus, but it's definitely NOT on my side of the tracks! Cheers!
It would help if said child had decent parents to begin with... Her only REAL parents here are my wife and I, and she will certainly not be allowed to be ripped away from us, that much I can guarantee you!
TheMightyQuin
Not amused...
I'm a father of 2 myself, my boy nearly 5 years old. My heart bleeds for these children, especially the 5 yr old that is living WITH these people. I so wish there is something I could do to help you in any way at all, but this is so complicated.
I would really approach social services, maybe anon and ask their advice. Try and go to someone, sit across from them and pour your heart out.
Forget about tapes and movies of these morons doing tik. That wil get you absolutely nowhere and will be a waste of time and probably also illegal.
Your main focus MUST be to get legal custody of these children. Once that is accomplished, get a restraining order against this drug addict, which will force him to either move or go to jail.
You , dear sir, are a good father. I hope everything works out
One can but try my friend. Thanks for the kind words.
Sound advice, thanks! I was PM'd last night by a social worker, so will be doing 'due dilligence' investigations regarding the children and so on to see what we can and can't do.
I was wondering about the legality of video footage etc. Would be interesting to find out, but I did mention it to the person, so let's see what the verdict is.
Either way, thanks for the support mate. Cheers!
Nerfherder
Honorary Master
The family is enabling this guy by letting him stay, that is the stand that you need to make. Force them to kick him out, let the police arrest him when he tries to get back in.
or
Tell him the cops are coming for him, right when he is in the middle of a batch... then antagonise him when he has smoked it all. Give him an unloaded gun.... let the police take care of the rest.
or
Tell him the cops are coming for him, right when he is in the middle of a batch... then antagonise him when he has smoked it all. Give him an unloaded gun.... let the police take care of the rest.
Avenue
Expert Member
So I sent your message through to a social worker friend and this is her reply- hope it helps:
Please find the response to the email below, this case is sensitive due to the abuse and involvement of drugs. I would really encourage the individual who sent this request to deal with the children first before doing anything concerning the Brother in law, as they are the most vulnerable in the situation. I hope he get some assistance……..
After receiving the request for assistance with the matter at hand, I am only able to advice in terms of my knowledge of process and I do not work in the Cape Town area.
Working from the background that you sent through I will respond according to the various issues that you highlighted.
Firstly, your unofficial foster daughter is a concern as at any time her secure world can come tumbling down due to the fact that there are no statutory process in place to secure the wellbeing of the child. It is thus important that you and your wife make this foster placement a legal and binding placement in the best interest of the child. The process that must be followed is a follows;
· Contacting the Cape Town Child welfare Regional office
· Lower Klipfontein road, Gatesville, Athlone, CT
· Tel: 0216383127
· Email: [email protected]
· Foster care placements are done through the children’s court. As this is a legal placement guided by The Children’s Act 38 of 2005, it means that the foster parent is appointed as the legal caregiver of the child for a period as indicated by the court.
· Becoming a foster parent:
Should you be interested in becoming a foster parent, you can contact the organization. You will receive an application form which you need to complete and return to us with the names of two references and a copy of your identity document.
The length of foster placements is determined by the children’s court and has to be reviewed prior to the expiry date of the order. During the period of placement, the biological parents have the right to have contact with their child, and the social workers will attempt to assist the parents in addressing the issues which led to the removal of the child in the first place. Our first choice is always for the child to be returned to his home of origin.
Child welfare will also be able to advice you on the other child and the unborn baby, and what would be in the best interest of the children. But it is advised that you phone until you get a response, and until a social worker has been to see you.
If you do not get a response on your enquiry, in terms of the children’s act you can complete a form 2 which is available from the internet and complete and hand in at the nearest magistrate office, children court; in term of the children’s act , any person concerned about a child has the right to complete the form 2 and to be heard on the matter. Depending on the court it can be a long process but it is a far quicker process than waiting for child welfare.
According to the new children’s act it looks at what’s in the best interest of the child, and when considering the information you have described in the email it is evident that your brother in law is not acting in the best interest of the children and that he is putting them at both at an emotional and psychological risk.
If after a few days you get no response as per the information above please contact the Centre for child law in PTA; ( please just confirm with them with they do not have a Centre at UCT)
§ Center for child law – PTA University
o Tel: 0124204502
o Email; [email protected]
Secondly, concerning your Brother-in-law the following needs to be considered in terms of the safety of your family. It is important that everything that you do is all above board and that you do not land yourself in a court room on assault charges. It is also important to remember that even though you and your family are the victims, he is given the opportunity to defend himself and still has the same rights as you do until proven guilty or found to be a unfit parent.
It is on the above statement that it is recommended that you and your family apply for a protection order, as you are all adults it is important that you each apply individually and in the protection order under part A, point 4, 4.1 you are able to list the children and adults who are being affect by the violence and dysfunctional behavior of your brother-in-law. It is under this section that it is advised that you mention the fathers involvement in drugs and that it is when he is under the influence or not that he is violent, emotionally, financially and physically abusive. The more information you put into the application document, the better your chances of getting the order served to appear. It is on the application of the protection order that you may be referred to the children court concerning the two minor children, if this is the case you need to go and ask for advisement in terms of the children. Before leaving the magistrate who referred you, you must ask why he is referring you to the children’s court. (the protection order is generally an easy and straight forward process, if you feel you need guidance please contact the below mentioned)
You can contact legal Aid in Cape town arrange to go in and speak to them about the situation concerning the situation at home. Legal aid is a free service but please note that they do have service criteria and you as a client need to fall into to receive their services.
· Legal aid – regional office
§ Tel: 0218813000
· Cape town office;
§ Tel: 021 426 4126
§ 3rd floor SA Revenu Bank Building, 60 ST Georges Mall, Cape Town
· They deal with the following issues;
o Family matters
o Evictions
o Protection orders
o You can discuss the matters and rights concerning the children
Thirdly, it is advised that u contact a Victim empowerment center in Cape Town, as they are aware of the process in Cape Town. Each province and region in South Africa have different ways in reporting and it is through this Centre that you will be referred to the correct authorities in terms of the various problems that you have reported in the email.
§ ST Annes Home
§ Ask to speak to Joy
§ Tel: 0214486792 / (I have taken out the cell number, but can PM you if you like)
Fourthly, in terms of the drug and manufacturing of the drugs; It is recommended that you contact Crime stop and report the case. On all cases reported and opened it must be investigated a legal process must run. If you get no joy from the police as you have reported, make contact with you Sectorial Policing Supervisor.
§ Crime Stop – 0800111213
It would be a Good idea to contact the DA if you get no joy out of the system in Cape Town. They are detecting to eradicating drug and violence in the community of Cape Town.
Hope that you receive some assistance concerning this matter.
Please find the response to the email below, this case is sensitive due to the abuse and involvement of drugs. I would really encourage the individual who sent this request to deal with the children first before doing anything concerning the Brother in law, as they are the most vulnerable in the situation. I hope he get some assistance……..
After receiving the request for assistance with the matter at hand, I am only able to advice in terms of my knowledge of process and I do not work in the Cape Town area.
Working from the background that you sent through I will respond according to the various issues that you highlighted.
Firstly, your unofficial foster daughter is a concern as at any time her secure world can come tumbling down due to the fact that there are no statutory process in place to secure the wellbeing of the child. It is thus important that you and your wife make this foster placement a legal and binding placement in the best interest of the child. The process that must be followed is a follows;
· Contacting the Cape Town Child welfare Regional office
· Lower Klipfontein road, Gatesville, Athlone, CT
· Tel: 0216383127
· Email: [email protected]
· Foster care placements are done through the children’s court. As this is a legal placement guided by The Children’s Act 38 of 2005, it means that the foster parent is appointed as the legal caregiver of the child for a period as indicated by the court.
· Becoming a foster parent:
Should you be interested in becoming a foster parent, you can contact the organization. You will receive an application form which you need to complete and return to us with the names of two references and a copy of your identity document.
The length of foster placements is determined by the children’s court and has to be reviewed prior to the expiry date of the order. During the period of placement, the biological parents have the right to have contact with their child, and the social workers will attempt to assist the parents in addressing the issues which led to the removal of the child in the first place. Our first choice is always for the child to be returned to his home of origin.
Child welfare will also be able to advice you on the other child and the unborn baby, and what would be in the best interest of the children. But it is advised that you phone until you get a response, and until a social worker has been to see you.
If you do not get a response on your enquiry, in terms of the children’s act you can complete a form 2 which is available from the internet and complete and hand in at the nearest magistrate office, children court; in term of the children’s act , any person concerned about a child has the right to complete the form 2 and to be heard on the matter. Depending on the court it can be a long process but it is a far quicker process than waiting for child welfare.
According to the new children’s act it looks at what’s in the best interest of the child, and when considering the information you have described in the email it is evident that your brother in law is not acting in the best interest of the children and that he is putting them at both at an emotional and psychological risk.
If after a few days you get no response as per the information above please contact the Centre for child law in PTA; ( please just confirm with them with they do not have a Centre at UCT)
§ Center for child law – PTA University
o Tel: 0124204502
o Email; [email protected]
Secondly, concerning your Brother-in-law the following needs to be considered in terms of the safety of your family. It is important that everything that you do is all above board and that you do not land yourself in a court room on assault charges. It is also important to remember that even though you and your family are the victims, he is given the opportunity to defend himself and still has the same rights as you do until proven guilty or found to be a unfit parent.
It is on the above statement that it is recommended that you and your family apply for a protection order, as you are all adults it is important that you each apply individually and in the protection order under part A, point 4, 4.1 you are able to list the children and adults who are being affect by the violence and dysfunctional behavior of your brother-in-law. It is under this section that it is advised that you mention the fathers involvement in drugs and that it is when he is under the influence or not that he is violent, emotionally, financially and physically abusive. The more information you put into the application document, the better your chances of getting the order served to appear. It is on the application of the protection order that you may be referred to the children court concerning the two minor children, if this is the case you need to go and ask for advisement in terms of the children. Before leaving the magistrate who referred you, you must ask why he is referring you to the children’s court. (the protection order is generally an easy and straight forward process, if you feel you need guidance please contact the below mentioned)
You can contact legal Aid in Cape town arrange to go in and speak to them about the situation concerning the situation at home. Legal aid is a free service but please note that they do have service criteria and you as a client need to fall into to receive their services.
· Legal aid – regional office
§ Tel: 0218813000
· Cape town office;
§ Tel: 021 426 4126
§ 3rd floor SA Revenu Bank Building, 60 ST Georges Mall, Cape Town
· They deal with the following issues;
o Family matters
o Evictions
o Protection orders
o You can discuss the matters and rights concerning the children
Thirdly, it is advised that u contact a Victim empowerment center in Cape Town, as they are aware of the process in Cape Town. Each province and region in South Africa have different ways in reporting and it is through this Centre that you will be referred to the correct authorities in terms of the various problems that you have reported in the email.
§ ST Annes Home
§ Ask to speak to Joy
§ Tel: 0214486792 / (I have taken out the cell number, but can PM you if you like)
Fourthly, in terms of the drug and manufacturing of the drugs; It is recommended that you contact Crime stop and report the case. On all cases reported and opened it must be investigated a legal process must run. If you get no joy from the police as you have reported, make contact with you Sectorial Policing Supervisor.
§ Crime Stop – 0800111213
It would be a Good idea to contact the DA if you get no joy out of the system in Cape Town. They are detecting to eradicating drug and violence in the community of Cape Town.
Hope that you receive some assistance concerning this matter.
Last edited:
Hi all. I would just like to thank everyone for their replies, valuable, indifferent and otherwise. It seems as though my wife and I are in for a long and drawn-out process. Hopefully everything pans out the way it should but I guess this is where having some faith comes in handy. Right now we'll have to weigh everything up and look at how we're going to approach things, whether to do it through the children's court or through welfare themselves, although going through the court might prove to be the more effective option as far as getting the ball rolling. Unfortunately with this type of situation you can never be 100% sure that you're making the right decision, but then again, nothing ventured, nothing gained. The bottom line is we can't keep sitting on this forever because enough is enough and everyone deserves to live a peaceful and happy life without the likes of an addict and his friends causing unnecessary trouble, especially for the kids.
I hope to post back here in the not-so-distant future with some positive news. Judging by the response my OP received I think it would only be fair to keep everyone informed. Regardless, I'm positive God will come through for my wife and I in this matter.
Thanks a lot and take care.
I hope to post back here in the not-so-distant future with some positive news. Judging by the response my OP received I think it would only be fair to keep everyone informed. Regardless, I'm positive God will come through for my wife and I in this matter.
Thanks a lot and take care.
ToxicBunny
Oi! Leave me out of this...
Good luck dude.
first and foremost and most importantly, MY child comes first. the OP has allowed the situation to continue all this time and not stopped it by moving out and making his and his wife's life more bearable. there comes a time in one's life when enough is enough. do you want something like this to continue to bring you down and make your life miserable continually or do you want to make something of your life.
now if the foster child is legally fostered then move with the child, if not then there is absolutely nothing he can do but to move on and leave it alone.
all he is doing is making himself more and more miserable by being in the situation. he has a choice and the choice is by moving out, end of story.
Wow. Just, wow.