A long story perhaps, but one I need some good, solid advice on...

Celine said:
first and foremost and most importantly, MY child comes first. the OP has allowed the situation to continue all this time and not stopped it by moving out and making his and his wife's life more bearable. there comes a time in one's life when enough is enough. do you want something like this to continue to bring you down and make your life miserable continually or do you want to make something of your life.

now if the foster child is legally fostered then move with the child, if not then there is absolutely nothing he can do but to move on and leave it alone.

all he is doing is making himself more and more miserable by being in the situation. he has a choice and the choice is by moving out, end of story.
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Not cool Celine. That's an innocent kid you're talking about, and the OP and his wife are the only parents she knows.
 
Celine said:
first and foremost and most importantly, MY child comes first. the OP has allowed the situation to continue all this time and not stopped it by moving out and making his and his wife's life more bearable. there comes a time in one's life when enough is enough. do you want something like this to continue to bring you down and make your life miserable continually or do you want to make something of your life.

now if the foster child is legally fostered then move with the child, if not then there is absolutely nothing he can do but to move on and leave it alone.

all he is doing is making himself more and more miserable by being in the situation. he has a choice and the choice is by moving out, end of story.
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I get the point you are trying to me, but the "foster" child is like his own too. Maybe not by blood, but by the emotional relationship they. It's all fine and well to say that your own child comes first, but does that mean you willing to just leave a small child to fend for herself? Easy way out me thinks.
 
F1 Fan said:
I get the point you are trying to me, but the "foster" child is like his own too. Maybe not by blood, but by the emotional relationship they. It's all fine and well to say that your own child comes first, but does that mean you willing to just leave a small child to fend for herself? Easy way out me thinks.
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no that's not what i'm trying to say. what i'm saying is that there are huge obstacles stopping the OP from taking the child if he moves. so my question is this? why is the biological father doing this? is the foster documents legal? if not then the OP doesn't have a leg to stand on and there is going to be an ongoing battle to get the child in his care if he wants to move.

why stay in a situation like this and make your life miserable and then bring a child into the world only to make your own child unhappy? that is not on.

there are times when you have to admit defeat and move on and forget things and people. perhaps this is one of those times.
 
Celine said:
no that's not what i'm trying to say. what i'm saying is that there are huge obstacles stopping the OP from taking the child if he moves. so my question is this? why is the biological father doing this? is the foster documents legal? if not then the OP doesn't have a leg to stand on and there is going to be an ongoing battle to get the child in his care if he wants to move.

why stay in a situation like this and make your life miserable and then bring a child into the world only to make your own child unhappy? that is not on.

there are times when you have to admit defeat and move on and forget things and people. perhaps this is one of those times.
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You are a moron. Your comments are ignorant and insensitive and you add no value to this thread and will never ever be able to add any value to any threads in the future.

I think you should STFU and GTFO.
 
eish .... see a social worker and claim he is abusing the kids. He is a drug addict is word will not hold. There is not much you can really do, this is what abuse of heavy drugs do.

Perhaps you can get the social worker to intervene take the kids and temporarily give them to you while he and his partner go to rehab. Second thing is find a way to get a government grant for the kids the problem is how would you stop him from using the grant to buy tik.

Most importantly dont take the law into your own hands, you cant help your own family from jail. I read some posters are suggesting an overdose but will you be able to live with that?

Also go down to your MAIN police station and ask to speak to the captain in charge and explain your story about the ex cop and the cops ignoring the thing (exactly how you explained it here and appeal to him you trying to look out for your niece/nephews). If your base level of law enforcement doesnt work step it up.

Other than that there isnt much you can do. You gotta look out for your own at the end of the day. You could also consider taking the child and moving if possible but I dont think you can help all 3

EDIT:

The only way to legally get the kids and win is to get both parents arrested. Though some people disagree with arresting drug users but in situations like this its absolutely necessary if you thinking about the future of the children.
 
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May I suggest you get hold of JP Smith ( CoCT Safety & Security ) 0836753780
He is very resourceful & if SAPS are needed he will bring in the appropriate people to ensure an arrest.
He could possibly fast track you regards social services.
Regards legal assistance, many of the big law firms do pro bono work ie (http://www.ens.co.za/pro_bono/), JP Smith may well know of a big law firm who may consider assisting on a pro bono basis.
 
Is there no way you can pay the father R5000 for signing over the kid to you permanently?
 
TheGuy said:
Is there no way you can pay the father R5000 for signing over the kid to you permanently?
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why pay him ? no he must go to jail his existence is ruining 7 other lives
 
landryc said:
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Is that your kid playing with your phone or on your computer?
@Celine : Do you have kids?
 
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*bump!

grantza said:
May I suggest you get hold of JP Smith ( CoCT Safety & Security ) 0836753780
He is very resourceful & if SAPS are needed he will bring in the appropriate people to ensure an arrest.
He could possibly fast track you regards social services.
Regards legal assistance, many of the big law firms do pro bono work ie (http://www.ens.co.za/pro_bono/), JP Smith may well know of a big law firm who may consider assisting on a pro bono basis.
Click to expand...
 
i think what celine is trying to say is forget about his in-laws and focus on his own kids.

You cannot blame any parent for looking out for their own bloodline. Some people are very lucky they never have to deal with situations like this
 
Loumina said:
Is that your kid playing with your phone or on your computer?
@Celine : Do you have kids?
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just when was this posted? i have just come out of hospital from another shoulder surgery. i haven't posted in this thread or come back to it for a few days.
 
MightyQuin said:
You are a moron. Your comments are ignorant and insensitive and you add no value to this thread and will never ever be able to add any value to any threads in the future.

I think you should STFU and GTFO.
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don't be calling me names unless you wish to have the same directed back at you. i am NOT ignorant or insensitive. i have seen 3 cases where the family have taken on their siblings children where there was abuse and abuse of drugs and alcohol. believe me those children are messed up already by the hands of their own bllod parents and eventually the child gives the foster parents absolute hell. so much so that the foster parents have no choice but to give up on the child despite doing everyhting for that child.

now this is where your child/ren must take precedence over the foster child. YOUR child/ren must have a home where there is not going to be any of these sort of problems that he/she has to live with. it is unfair to your own flesh and blood.

now i have to leave this as it is as i am in too much pain, when i am able to type properly i will continue with this.
 
I strongly suggest:

- Call a welfare officer : http://www.helpkids.org.za/
- Report him to the police

This case is severe.
Puzzee footing about will get you nowhere and might lead to murder or severe abuse of an innocent.

Your cry for help seems desperate, now act on it.
 
grantza said:
May I suggest you get hold of JP Smith ( CoCT Safety & Security ) 0836753780
He is very resourceful & if SAPS are needed he will bring in the appropriate people to ensure an arrest.
He could possibly fast track you regards social services.
Regards legal assistance, many of the big law firms do pro bono work ie (http://www.ens.co.za/pro_bono/), JP Smith may well know of a big law firm who may consider assisting on a pro bono basis.
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Thanks Grantza, I will be sure to keep this number handy so that I can phone him and give him a heads-up about the situation.

@Celine: you clearly have NO idea what you are talking about. It is because of people like you that society has been allowed to spiral out of control. I would like to see YOU raise a child from 3 months old to the age of seven and a half years and see how easy it is for you to leave that kid behind. Anyone that says to me they will easily do it is a liar of note. Obviously you have been emotionally blunted at some point in your life, because ANY parent out there worth their salt will tell you that you are MAD. She might not be blood on a biological level, but emotionally she is more than blood. I don't expect you to understand this as it is clear that you obviously don't and never will. Life is hardly ever as cut and dry as you seem to think, and that just speaks of a lack of wisdom and inexperience on your part. I am glad that I never had the 'privilege' of having you as my mom.

For the rest of you folks that actually give a crap about innocent kids, I have a new update that will see things progressing a lot quicker than we at first expected.

The mother has given birth (you will recall that she was pregnant) under dubious circumstances. By dubious I mean that it looks like she was beaten by the father, which of course led to the early onset of birth of the child (a boy).

A social worker phoned us this morning, enquiring about the circumstances in which the mother and father lives and whether they have the means to support the child at all. This call came after the mother had been spoken to at the hospital, at which point she spun stories about how she hasn't done any drugs in the last six years, how the father kamstig has his own business and so on and so forth - lying blatantly through her teeth as addicts do. Of course my mother in law answered the phone and she gave the social worker the whole nine yards on the two of them, the father's blackmail, threats, tendency towards violence - the WHOLE can of worms.

Bottom line is that God intervened after all as He tends to do. The newborn will be kept at Mowbray Maternity until a full and complete investigation has taken place, and IF the parents are found to be fit the baby will be released to them. Of course, we all know that THAT will never happen. On top of it all I've found out that this woman has had 6 kids to date, none of whom she's EVER looked after. This was mentioned to social too.

Either way we are not quite sure how the social worker became suspicious enough to phone, but she did and now the office that serves this region HAS to do an investigation. What the outcome of that investigation will be is anyone's guess of course, but as of now it has been taken out of our hands and the ball is on the roll. Mom in law is of course fearing for her life because of this psycho but we're getting the coppers involved on standby so that if anything untoward goes down or this excuse for a father decides he wants to go on a killing spree he will be finally arrested and taken care of.

I will keep you posted as things unfold. The updates may not come thick and fast but they will come as and when I have them. I think it is important to share this with as many folks as possible so that anyone who is dealing with or knows of a similar situation knows of how things operate.

Cheers for all the well wishes from everyone that gives a crap out there. For the rest of you, well, what can I say? The world as it stands isn't a very compassionate place, so I guess I should not be too surprised that there would be those amongst you who would choose the easy way out. Ironically there is no such thing as an easy way out in life. Anyone with half a bit of wisdom will tell you that.

Thanks and talk soon.
 
Dealing with bureaucracy (SAPS, Social Welfare, etc.) with all its red tape is tedious to say the least and you are never certain that the children will be given to you to care for a foster parents - you may end up losing them, as you yourself said.

Just a thought - scum like this would be willing to sign away all rights to their in children in exchange for ......... (you name it).
 
Strusbob said:
Thanks Grantza, I will be sure to keep this number handy so that I can phone him and give him a heads-up about the situation.

@Celine: you clearly have NO idea what you are talking about. It is because of people like you that society has been allowed to spiral out of control. I would like to see YOU raise a child from 3 months old to the age of seven and a half years and see how easy it is for you to leave that kid behind. Anyone that says to me they will easily do it is a liar of note. Obviously you have been emotionally blunted at some point in your life, because ANY parent out there worth their salt will tell you that you are MAD. She might not be blood on a biological level, but emotionally she is more than blood. I don't expect you to understand this as it is clear that you obviously don't and never will. Life is hardly ever as cut and dry as you seem to think, and that just speaks of a lack of wisdom and inexperience on your part. I am glad that I never had the 'privilege' of having you as my mom.

For the rest of you folks that actually give a crap about innocent kids, I have a new update that will see things progressing a lot quicker than we at first expected.

The mother has given birth (you will recall that she was pregnant) under dubious circumstances. By dubious I mean that it looks like she was beaten by the father, which of course led to the early onset of birth of the child (a boy).

A social worker phoned us this morning, enquiring about the circumstances in which the mother and father lives and whether they have the means to support the child at all. This call came after the mother had been spoken to at the hospital, at which point she spun stories about how she hasn't done any drugs in the last six years, how the father kamstig has his own business and so on and so forth - lying blatantly through her teeth as addicts do. Of course my mother in law answered the phone and she gave the social worker the whole nine yards on the two of them, the father's blackmail, threats, tendency towards violence - the WHOLE can of worms.

Bottom line is that God intervened after all as He tends to do. The newborn will be kept at Mowbray Maternity until a full and complete investigation has taken place, and IF the parents are found to be fit the baby will be released to them. Of course, we all know that THAT will never happen. On top of it all I've found out that this woman has had 6 kids to date, none of whom she's EVER looked after. This was mentioned to social too.

Either way we are not quite sure how the social worker became suspicious enough to phone, but she did and now the office that serves this region HAS to do an investigation. What the outcome of that investigation will be is anyone's guess of course, but as of now it has been taken out of our hands and the ball is on the roll. Mom in law is of course fearing for her life because of this psycho but we're getting the coppers involved on standby so that if anything untoward goes down or this excuse for a father decides he wants to go on a killing spree he will be finally arrested and taken care of.

I will keep you posted as things unfold. The updates may not come thick and fast but they will come as and when I have them. I think it is important to share this with as many folks as possible so that anyone who is dealing with or knows of a similar situation knows of how things operate.

Cheers for all the well wishes from everyone that gives a crap out there. For the rest of you, well, what can I say? The world as it stands isn't a very compassionate place, so I guess I should not be too surprised that there would be those amongst you who would choose the easy way out. Ironically there is no such thing as an easy way out in life. Anyone with half a bit of wisdom will tell you that.

Thanks and talk soon.
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well your post just smacks of anger. and it's no only at the mother and father of these children, but to anyone who dares cross your path and challenges you in any way. perhaps its you who needs to sit down and have a geart to heart talk to yourself before you go any further with any of this.

being angry at people just wont help any. you need to be the caring individual right from the get go, and from what i've been reading it all boils down to if you don't get your own way you will throw your toys and say what you want to whoever crosses your path and in between all that you will bring god and his disciples in it as well.
 
Celine said:
well your post just smacks of anger. and it's no only at the mother and father of these children, but to anyone who dares cross your path and challenges you in any way. perhaps its you who needs to sit down and have a geart to heart talk to yourself before you go any further with any of this.

being angry at people just wont help any. you need to be the caring individual right from the get go, and from what i've been reading it all boils down to if you don't get your own way you will throw your toys and say what you want to whoever crosses your path and in between all that you will bring god and his disciples in it as well.
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Please... I am merely stating the facts, and that is that you have a bare bones understanding of the situation, because that's ALL you were ever given. If you want to construe that as anger, that's your problem, not mine darling. Perhaps you and Baron should meet up. I bet you'd have a lot in common.

If anyone here has a right to be angry it IS me, yes, considering the situation I'm trying to resolve. But the fact is that I am merely frustrated.

Cheers and take care.
 
For those of you who are actually interested in what's happening, I got another call from a gentleman from Cape Town Metro social services (whom I thanked, FYI) and it seems an investigation will ensue within the next seven days.

For the rest the coppers are still on high alert should things go south here tonight. I hope it doesn't though, as it is my foster daughter's rewards evening at school and we would love for her to have a relaxed and chilled night without any drama. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how things pan out.

Thanks to all who have given their words of support. It is appreciated.
 
Truly a relief to hear the good news. While I haven't posted until today I was actually following the thread to see what happens and I have a lot of empathy for everyone involved with this. I will be eagerly awaiting good news, all the best to you.
 
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