AcidRazor's Intervention

Dude, go get yourself some Urbanol at the pharmacy. That should sort out the pesky panic attacks.
 
I don't like the fact you're giving up AcidRaZor, and i really hope this is all a joke.
I am on another international forum where somebody i knew was down was considering doing it, and up until his final post he kept everybody on tenderhooks.
He never returned and i assumed he did it.
He even PM'ed me a few months before and everything was fine, it was a gradual downhill spiral that i hope isn't happening to you.

I attended a friends cousins funeral on Saturday that shot himself at work, the nicest guy in the world who never talked of his problems.....
His family is devastated, and nobody knew why he did it, the family assumed responsibility...

And now i read this.

At the end of the day its your life, live or die it makes no difference to the universe, but it will affect all of your family and coworkers.
Its your life and its a grey area in my book, but if every moment is a drag and miserable existence for you, then get meds, if that fails try others, then again others.

Life ain't easy, in fact in can kick your ass and then some.

www.sadag.org/

I dont care what you think of me, i care about you being happy, and if you cannot be happy naturally then do it chemically, anything is better then nothing.......
 
We shared house with our best friend who spoke of suicide for months, we eventually just stopped listening everytime he spoke about it because he didn't want to seem to help himself no matter how hard we tried. We found him hanging from the ceiling in his bedroom. Was one of the most traumatic days of my life.

Good luck Acid, with what ever you decide to do. X
 
Carol35 said:
We shared house with our best friend who spoke of suicide for months, we eventually just stopped listening everytime he spoke about it because he didn't want to seem to help himself no matter how hard we tried. We found him hanging from the ceiling in his bedroom. Was one of the most traumatic days of my life.

Good luck Acid, with what ever you decide to do. X
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His selfishness caused you pain. Ugh, reading this just makes me angry.
 
AcidRaZor said:
Yea I was actually thinking I should make a bucket list. Only this isn't a list that will never be done because I wouldn't know the "end date" as opposed to not and letting it drag on for years.

Was thinking of skydiving :) Maybe learn to fly a plane (I always seem to **** up on the simulators on the PC) and the last bit I could possibly involve my cousin in. He was going to be a fighter pilot but has a severe case of "WTF? THIS IS RED?!!" syndrome :p So they stuck him in avionics/weapons repair which he hated.

I haven't written anything in YEARS. And I'm afraid to start. Maybe I should?

For now I'm just focussing on the anxiety and panic attacks. I always tell my friends: How do you eat an elephant?

So it's one step at a time. I do feel loads better now that I decided where I'm headed though
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Whatever you do with your life is up to you. You only live once so have as much fun as you can :)

As long as you are not gonna hurt anyone else in the process.

Do things you have always wanted to.
 
I see a bit of intervention and a lot of anti-intervention happening here, so that's great, thanks mybb'ers.

Acid... this is really the wrong decision to make. So you got to mid-30's, realized your life is a shambles, and your solution is to top yourself off? Even if your life is a mess, it's still better than non-life. There's still hikes and relationships and future kids and friends, and you're still worth the life you were gifted with.
 
That's just the thing, in the last 2 decades nothing really has changed.

I'm not the "lets go out and club and get drunk and meet random girls" type guy. And I'm not really bound to any physical item or activity. If you told me I can NEVER watch TV again, fine. If you told me I could NEVER have sex again, fine (doing great so far anyway, lol). If you burnt down my apartment, took away my internet, blew up my car, deleted all my photos, took away my cell phone.... then fine... I don't need those things, I don't want those things, they don't make me who I am, I don't crave or have a need to have anything in my life. And the one thing I do want I'll never get.

So it's really hard for me to choose to do anything when everything is so insignificant to me. not that I'm arrogant and full of myself, it's just. What's the point when if you take anything away or put anything in my path, it doesn't interest me or makes me WANT to live to be able to enjoy it?

I know it all sounds doom & gloom. But that's just how I feel. What's the point if nothing is going to change anyway. I might as well just scribble down a list of things I've thought of doing over the years, do it, and then bow out. Thanks for all the fish and all.
 
What's the one thing you do want? And why do you think you'll never get it? A family?
 
If you do this thing,is there anyone who will miss you ? Will there be anyone who will be devastated at the fact you're no longer around ? Yes, I know we don't live our lives to please other people...but,think about it...is there no one you will be hurting by leaving ?
 
Hmmmmmm... Can't say that I can't really relate to Acid's last post. Difference is that I know what I want and what has the potential to make me happy, but my life doesn't permit me having those things... ever unfortunately, so yes... all those things you mentioned are kind of "insignificant". That's just the thing though, if you look at the list of stuff you used as an example... they are all material. None of my material things can make me happy and I have everything I need. That's why I think there is something that can make you happy, but it's not something you can buy somewhere even if money was no object.

Dude. Believe me, this is not talk from someone wanting to add their two cents on a forum, but someone who knows exactly how you feel. I also haven't found the solution yet, but some very small granule of my brain keeps telling me that this can't be it. You need to find that little part again... and then people like us... we keep looking.
 
dendens said:
If you do this thing,is there anyone who will miss you ? Will there be anyone who will be devastated at the fact you're no longer around ? Yes, I know we don't live our lives to please other people...but,think about it...is there no one you will be hurting by leaving ?
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They'll be sad maybe. I wouldn't say they'd miss me much, if at all. just for the fact that i don't see my family or friends that much anyway

cerebus said:
What's the one thing you do want? And why do you think you'll never get it? A family?
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A family will be a side effect of the "thing" i want.

abzo said:
Acid, ever considered going to the Himalayas? Not kidding.
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Was actually looking at basecamp tours but I want to summit it, not just mull around basecamps
 
AcidRaZor said:
They'll be sad maybe. I wouldn't say they'd miss me much, if at all. just for the fact that i don't see my family or friends that much anyway



A family will be a side effect of the "thing" i want.



Was actually looking at basecamp tours but I want to summit it, not just mull around basecamps
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You want to be loved?
 
You don't have to answer if I'm being too personal,but, do you have sisters?
 
AcidRaZor said:
That's just the thing, in the last 2 decades nothing really has changed.

I'm not the "lets go out and club and get drunk and meet random girls" type guy. And I'm not really bound to any physical item or activity. If you told me I can NEVER watch TV again, fine. If you told me I could NEVER have sex again, fine (doing great so far anyway, lol). If you burnt down my apartment, took away my internet, blew up my car, deleted all my photos, took away my cell phone.... then fine... I don't need those things, I don't want those things, they don't make me who I am, I don't crave or have a need to have anything in my life. And the one thing I do want I'll never get.

So it's really hard for me to choose to do anything when everything is so insignificant to me. not that I'm arrogant and full of myself, it's just. What's the point when if you take anything away or put anything in my path, it doesn't interest me or makes me WANT to live to be able to enjoy it?

I know it all sounds doom & gloom. But that's just how I feel. What's the point if nothing is going to change anyway. I might as well just scribble down a list of things I've thought of doing over the years, do it, and then bow out. Thanks for all the fish and all.
Click to expand...


Find good advice here.gif
 
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