Dating . . . after the break up!

Lament said:
To be honest, the last two months has done me a world of good, im getting in good shape again, partying weekends, and honestly just enjoying myself, i don’t think i have enjoyed myself this much in my enite lifetime, so ja, let’s give it another 3 months :D

I still miss her and what we had though, breakups are not fun, allot happens in 3 years, i honestly thought the bond we had was stronger than anything, apparently not stronger than the urge to make out with a guy it Hatfield while i was at home.....

The only thing that gets to me about being single is the loneliness , not waking up next to someone or coming home to someone, it’s a lifestyle im not used to, but the weekends are AWESOME....hahaha
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I know exactly what you're going through right now. It takes a certain mindset to change that. Once you're there, theres no turning back.

the last two months has done me a world of good, im getting in good shape again, partying weekends, and honestly just enjoying myself, i don’t think i have enjoyed myself this much in my enite lifetime,
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You might not know it but you've already started changing that mindset.
 
samr1wp said:
thats why u need friends ...not for the waking up next to part or if you have lady friends that want that lol but for taking away that loneliness

while i was apart from my SO for 4 months i never stayed at home ..

every night somewhere doing something ..it was nice cos it was a break we needed

we were 3 and a half years together and we got back 4 months later so yeah we together a long time

so yes do all that and you will meet people and do things

its simple not hard as people make it out to be and dont forget to smile always ...that girl will smile back and its jackpot
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I struggle to get the motivation to go out, I would much rather sit and mope but it's probably better to be social in these times.
 
razedinblack...come to my building one day

stand outside for few minutes ...heaven is on my doorstep :p

Wezzy777 said:
I struggle to get the motivation to go out, I would much rather sit and mope but it's probably better to be socail in these times.
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sit at home and do what cry ?

watch tv and think of her ?

do that and think of her ?

why not go out make new memories..even if its on your own or with friends ..its new ones
 
samr1wp said:
its simple not hard as people make it out to be and dont forget to smile always ...that girl will smile back and its jackpot
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I like what you said about confidence earlier. It can make a world of difference. Females can smell it a mile away :D
 
F@k ................ if only I had the tools kids have today for picking up girls (fb, twitter, mxit, internet, CAMERA PHONES..........) on the other hand surley that cannot replace that feeling on walking up to a girl and doing your 'pitch' :D
 
samr1wp said:
razedinblack...come to my building one day

stand outside for few minutes ...heaven is on my doorstep :p



sit at home and do what cry ?

watch tv and think of her ?

do that and think of her ?

why not go out make new memories..even if its on your own or with friends ..its new ones
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Sit at home watch TV and think of her it's terrible I know, but I can't find the motivation to go out :(
 
Pynet said:
F@k ................ if only I had the tools kids have today for picking up girls (fb, twitter, mxit, internet, CAMERA PHONES..........) on the other hand surley that cannot replace that feeling on walking up to a girl and doing your 'pitch' :D
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Problem is most dudes suffer from approach anxiety, its how you control it. Online dating has its own perks in a way I guess.
 
Pynet said:
F@k ................ if only I had the tools kids have today for picking up girls (fb, twitter, mxit, internet, CAMERA PHONES..........) on the other hand surley that cannot replace that feeling on walking up to a girl and doing your 'pitch' :D
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hahaha yes and the sorry or hello to get her attention part haha

i was thinking the same thing the other day ..when i met my current SO the only big thing was fb and mxit ..and she wasnt on fb tho

but today bbm and whatsapp ..damn theres ladies and ladies and ladies
 
AcidRaZor said:
lol, OP sounds like me 8 years ago

good luck with that ;)

you'll learn later that it's better to fix what is broken than to just give up and move onto something else
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Oh please! How many of your emo threads did I have to endure over this past few years. Whats there to fix?
 
samr1wp said:
where do you stay ?

do you have close friends ?

even if you not clubbing or some time waster

movies, braais, chilling

do all that
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That's the thing my friends are always calling me to go do stuff, like yesterday they called to get me to come play football and I just didn't have the motivation to get up and join them.

But yes you are right she proabably is not sitting around moping over me, gotta get my ass into gear and meet new people.
 
she is definitely now

sad thing is some other guy is trying to hit her up and she is probably enjoying it

Dude soccer playing or watching with friends is awesome ...do it bro ...

stop being a sad little girl and go out :p
 
RazedInBlack said:
Dude! Are you serious? I've met some pretty nice women on line and in person. You just need more practice. It build confidence. trust me I've been there.
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About 5 years back i met allot of girls on dating sites, but it seems like there just are not any more girls on the dating sites i know, and the dating sites that are worth it cost money, i don’t have a problem with paying, but most times both parties have to pay, and that’s the major hurdle.
 
yeah, search the internet, think back to some of the things you could have changed, and remember that for the future, but at the end of the day people follow their hearts, not their heads and often a chick will break up with you because "its just doesn't feel right any more." Not because of something she can even pin point. You can be doing everything mens health tells you; you can check off 100% on that list of yours and she may still not "feel it."
There is nothing you can do.
But you're right, once you've had a few months to cool down, and have met another chick, you start to wonder what spell you were under that made you look past all those terrible things about your ex. Women are just people with as many issues and problems as anyone else, and if there is a void in your heart/ problems with your confidence or whatever, having a girlfriends not going to fix that. Those are things people need to deal with in their own hearts. I think too often guys see women as some kind of mythical, almost perfect creature that you have to possess to define who they are. Its crazy man.
 
RazedInBlack said:
Problem is most dudes suffer from approach anxiety, its how you control it. Online dating has its own perks in a way I guess.
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Really? Most guys I know aren't shy at all. They just make asses of themselves later but they don't have approach anxiety. Ask any girl if she thinks guys are too shy in general.
 
Lament said:
Thanks... but why does everyone say i need time off....hahaha

I have Facebook, but have no idea to use it to meet new people, im not one of those weird dudes that’s just going to add random people :D

But i guess everything will happen in good time :P
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The facebook thing is easy and goes like this.

Some random but good looking chick comments on a friends post.
You facebook stalk her a bit to see if she is single and if she is actually in your province/country.
You comment something on your friends status that references to her comment.
If she sees it she might start up a conversation.
When you feel the conversation on you friends post has gone well then just invite her as a friend.
From there you chat and ask her on a coffee date.

whalla. Done this so many times a couple of years back when I was still single. Test drove girls like cars just to find the right one.
 
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