Just sitting here and thinking about the whole fcked up situation. The family isn't making any contact with me, instead decided to contact my one brother instead. Ironically, the one that doesn't give a damn and hasn't contributed much either. lol
I think they are now well aware of my position and my feelings towards them Lol. It is a life lesson you learn only once, and it leaves a considerable mark. The best advice I can give is to not be me, you might think you can handle it. But trust me however strong you think you might be, you ain't nearly as strong as you think you are. Not to be sexist or anything, but daughters should NOT ever do it, they are way too emotionally invested, and it won't end well, even as a son it will get to you at some point.
Just don't. I have gone through the worst of it now, and I came out shyte stained out the other side, to the point I have a hard time giving anyone empathy or emotion. You sort of have to emotional shutdown, and you do it for so long, it becomes second nature it gets hard sharing emotional connection with someone else.
it is going to take some time to mentally heal, even with the two weeks I have been "off" I have not been physically productive in any way or form.
Make time for your self, do it, from day one. Get up your family's ass and stay there till they eventually relent. You need downtime as much as you can get, your mental well-being is even more important than the well-being of your parents.
Find a place to sleep as far away as possible from their room, get ear plugs.
No candles, no open fires.
Declutter every thing in their room.
Get plastic cups, plates, water bottles anything that won't break if thrown, they will throw stuff
Get a hospital bed with railings, the higher the bed can raise, the better.
They become a dead weight, moving them becomes hard, will become impossible. I have a shower and a waterproof wheel chair, I can push her into the shower and clean her.
For females, you have to stay on top of them with nappy changes, as often as reasonably possible. They are especially prone to UTI's, you will need some extra care here, have stuff at the ready to deal, with UTI's or yeast infections.
Linen savers are your friend, they don't need to be sterile, puppy training pads are half the price and does exactly the same thing.
Waterproof everything, especially bedding, there will be accidents and numbers 2 that will have you gagging for air, I call them sloppy joes.
Avoid laxatives if you can, especially with nappies, you don't want deal with nuclear wast, so a good diet that promotes healthy bowel movements are essential.
If they are mobile, lock them in their rooms at night, for their safety. It is essentially to declutter their room, you want essentially just the basics, once they are no longer to move on their own you can relax a bit. But for their safety, they might still have the body strength to sit upright in bed. So place a soft mattress below the bed, with pillows and a blanket, so if they do manage to fall out of bed they are safe and secure and able to sleep where they fall.
Invest in earplugs, enough said.
Do NOT give in to their every demand and calls. Set up a routine and schedule and stick to it.
Overeating is a thing with dementia, so small regular meals.
Invest in a liquidiser, soup, soft foods ECT. Set meal times, and stick with it, do NOT give heavy meals late at night period.
Avoid spicy foods, rich foods, or anything that is acidic, like onions, tomato's ect, unless you want to avoid cleaning up vomit. lol
Avoid coffee, tea or anything with caffeine, unless you want to clean nappies every hour, basically avoid any diuretics. If they do drink coffee or tea it should be decaf period.
Limit fluid intake, especially water, that can lead to electrolyte depletion. Limit to recommended daily intake for age.
Some people get annoyed and agitated with noise, so avoid.
They eventually stop reading, or stop hobbies and social interactions, ECT. You will need to figure out a way or stuff to do to keep them active, they have the attention span of a 2-year-old. So nothing complex, stuff that can be done in a few minutes.
Just some stuff I learned over the last few months
