Depression.

SIL doing much better, even though there are still challenges, mostly to get help from the state as the doctor is seldom available or just not pitching up for work. She On bipolar meds, but needs some adjustment. She cant remember anything that happened in December when I posted here. (somewhere above). Mom, who was on her death bed during the same time SIL went bonkers , in December, just visited us for 3 weeks. She is doing much much much better after getting help at the right hospital and on the right meds.
 
RedViking said:
SIL doing much better, even though there are still challenges, mostly to get help from the state as the doctor is seldom available or just not pitching up for work. She On bipolar meds, but needs some adjustment. She cant remember anything that happened in December when I posted here. (somewhere above). Mom, who was on her death bed during the same time SIL went bonkers , in December, just visited us for 3 weeks. She is doing much much much better after getting help at the right hospital and on the right meds.
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I am glad things are a little bit better for your family
 
lexity said:
I once witnessed someone go into a state in which he switched from being an adult to a baby.

Like literally flipping a switch. As though he were literally 8 or 9 months old.

It was surreal. And there were a bunch of us who witnessed it. And his wife was sitting next to him at the time, obviously upset/embarrassed but it was perhaps 2 mins and he snapped out of it just as easily as he went into it.

And he had absolutely no idea what had just happened. Zero... he acted normally but with no idea what we had all just witnessed.

It was as though he had been given a hypnotic command, and he was being the chicken on stage, but instead it was being the baby slouched back in the chair. No awareness of the transition in himself whatsoever.
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Saw this sort of extreme polar reaction with a family member. It happened a few times. A brain scan revealed a tumor which was cutting off blood supply to the front of the brain. Died a year later
 
I don’t usually post things like this, but I can’t keep quiet anymore.

In this community... right here, I’ve seen posts, lyrics, comments that clearly hint at people struggling with depression and loneliness. Even thoughts of suicide, and nobody seems to even acknowledge them.

Some of us have written music or shared art that was practically a cry for help. I know I have. I even saw someone else recently post song lyrics that screamed of suicidal thoughts, and not a single person replied. Not a “hey, you okay?”, not a “we see you.” Nothing. I suppose people figure it's "AI Slop" and continue to go about their day, but sometimes we need to just look a little bit deeper.

The truth is that some people don’t make it. They die. Quietly. While the world scrolls past.

This is just asking for basic human awareness. A moment of kindness. You never know when your small reply might be someone’s last lifeline.

If you’re part of this community, then be part of it. Look out for each other. Say something. Be supportive. Show some kindness to others.
 
@OnlyOneKenobi Absolutely true.
I think the anonymity of online spaces plays a big part—it makes it easier for people to turn away, to feel disconnected. The bystander effect is real: “Someone else will say something.” But the hard truth is, most of the time, no one does.

I’ve felt this myself. These past few weeks—especially this one—have been incredibly hard. You reach a point where you just shut down. And often, the signs are subtle, hidden. People rarely say it outright. That’s exactly when they need support the most.

Even a simple “Hey, are you okay?”—like @OnlyOneKenobi said—can mean more than you think. Sometimes it’s the tiniest gestures that hold someone together.
 
OnlyOneKenobi said:
I don’t usually post things like this, but I can’t keep quiet anymore.

In this community... right here, I’ve seen posts, lyrics, comments that clearly hint at people struggling with depression and loneliness. Even thoughts of suicide, and nobody seems to even acknowledge them.

Some of us have written music or shared art that was practically a cry for help. I know I have. I even saw someone else recently post song lyrics that screamed of suicidal thoughts, and not a single person replied. Not a “hey, you okay?”, not a “we see you.” Nothing. I suppose people figure it's "AI Slop" and continue to go about their day, but sometimes we need to just look a little bit deeper.

The truth is that some people don’t make it. They die. Quietly. While the world scrolls past.

This is just asking for basic human awareness. A moment of kindness. You never know when your small reply might be someone’s last lifeline.

If you’re part of this community, then be part of it. Look out for each other. Say something. Be supportive. Show some kindness to others.
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The thread by itself is already a big help for many. Firstly being able to share in a 'anonymous' place and secondly seeing that many people have challenges to work through. Its great that people can openly express themselves through text or lyrics or whatever. It goes a long way for many to take the next steps.
 
Binary_Bark said:
@OnlyOneKenobi Absolutely true.
I think the anonymity of online spaces plays a big part—it makes it easier for people to turn away, to feel disconnected. The bystander effect is real: “Someone else will say something.” But the hard truth is, most of the time, no one does.

I’ve felt this myself. These past few weeks—especially this one—have been incredibly hard. You reach a point where you just shut down. And often, the signs are subtle, hidden. People rarely say it outright. That’s exactly when they need support the most.

Even a simple “Hey, are you okay?”—like @OnlyOneKenobi said—can mean more than you think. Sometimes it’s the tiniest gestures that hold someone together.
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I am sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. It sure does feel like life and circumstances can kick us in the teeth sometimes. Here's to hoping it will get better.
 
Mind is like a colossal Borg ship, black, silent, and empty. The inside is black steel, cold and smooth to the touch. There’s no sound, no movement, just dead silence. The millions of Borg inside are dormant. The Collective isn’t present, and it doesn’t even feel like there is a connection to the Collective.
 
The director comes and say's, I can see something's wrong, come talk to me. Problem is I can't, with my ASD/ADHD I can't articulate the feelings, I can't put words to them. There comes times I sit and stare at my screen, just trying not to get emotional/ burst into tears, right now writing this post
 
Binary_Bark said:
The director comes and say's, I can see something's wrong, come talk to me. Problem is I can't, with my ASD/ADHD I can't articulate the feelings, I can't put words to them. There comes times I sit and stare at my screen, just trying not to get emotional/ burst into tears, right now writing this post
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I know the feeling. And it seems like this is the generic response, but you're not alone. Just hang in there.
 
Usually, I’d get a bottle or two of whiskey or gin to silence the bad man in the back of my head. But that’s no longer an option. That particular solvent never solved anything, it only numbed the pain for a night and made the following day even worse.

People often say things like, “Why don’t you go for a walk?” or “Why don’t you go out?” as if doing so will magically fix everything.

Do they really think it’s that easy? That life is like a book where you can just flip to the next page and move on? It’s not. It’s more like trying to turn the page of a tiny A6 notebook while an aircraft carrier is parked on top of it.
 
Binary_Bark said:
Usually, I’d get a bottle or two of whiskey or gin to silence the bad man in the back of my head. But that’s no longer an option. That particular solvent never solved anything, it only numbed the pain for a night and made the following day even worse.

People often say things like, “Why don’t you go for a walk?” or “Why don’t you go out?” as if doing so will magically fix everything.

Do they really think it’s that easy? That life is like a book where you can just flip to the next page and move on? It’s not. It’s more like trying to turn the page of a tiny A6 notebook while an aircraft carrier is parked on top of it.
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Personally, I don't trust myself drunk or high...last time I smoked weed I could feel immense darkeness pushing down on me and that was a scary thought so I rather stay fully in control. It's like I can see the monster looking at me, but at least it can't get to me when I'm sober.
 
Binary_Bark said:
The director comes and say's, I can see something's wrong, come talk to me. Problem is I can't, with my ASD/ADHD I can't articulate the feelings, I can't put words to them. There comes times I sit and stare at my screen, just trying not to get emotional/ burst into tears, right now writing this post
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Can you write the feelings down?

Maybe open a line of communication that way?
 
TofuMofu said:
Personally, I don't trust myself drunk or high...last time I smoked weed I could feel immense darkeness pushing down on me and that was a scary thought so I rather stay fully in control. It's like I can see the monster looking at me, but at least it can't get to me when I'm sober.
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Its just a crutch anyways that can very easily become its own problem. Numbing things short term can work if its a short term problem and you can get yourself out of it but for more prolonged states it only makes things worse and its better to find the cause and try and improve on the situation.
 
Binary_Bark said:
People often say things like, “Why don’t you go for a walk?” or “Why don’t you go out?” as if doing so will magically fix everything.

Do they really think it’s that easy? That life is like a book where you can just flip to the next page and move on? It’s not. It’s more like trying to turn the page of a tiny A6 notebook while an aircraft carrier is parked on top of it.
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Its definitely not that easy but for many including myself regular exercise definitely helps with my state of mind. I'm fortunate my dogs are pretty insistant on the 3 days they know are walk days and usually don't let me skip them without much complaining and begging.
 
Exercise does help, but there comes a point when, even despite the lifestyle changes you make, things become a bit too much. I've thrown just about everything I can at my darkness... from meditation, to journaling, to exercise, to many, many hobbies. They all help, for sure.
But sometimes even when you throw everything, including the kitchen at it, it still comes at you and still overwhelms you. To keep fighting even when you're so utterly and completely tired of everything and sometimes it just feels impossible... but you have to keep going.
 
Sinbad said:
Can you write the feelings down?

Maybe open a line of communication that way?
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I've been exploring putting things in metaphors/ creative writing like poetry. It does seem, at the starting end of doing this, that there are some help.
Not that one can go off spouting one's own poetry out loud
 
Binary_Bark said:
I've been exploring putting things in metaphors/ creative writing like poetry. It does seem, at the starting end of doing this, that there are some help.
Not that one can go off spouting one's own poetry out loud
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Either using it as an outlet as you say - but you also said that your manager was reaching out but you couldn't engage?

Have you tried journaling?
 
My mother had severe depression, but mostly expressed it when she wasnt getting her way she would "OD". Never worked because she was also taking a handful of painkillers and sleeping pills three times a day 7 days a week - with her wine.

The depression bug bit a few of her children as well. I spent a lot of money on getting help, which didnt work.

Then met someone who was qualified but not practicing anymore in doing business in an entirely different field and she just one day pointed out what my issue was. For free she casually just knew.

There was a specific thing that would trigger my depression and once you know what type of events would trigger it, it is easier to manage.

Edit: I have learned a long time ago that my happiness and wellbeing was my responsibility and if I expected it from other people, I would not be here today
 
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