Depression.

It is - the new station we are working with will not be playing Christmas music for that reason. So if anyone wants to listen to a station that doesn't focus on Christmas - let me know and I will give you the link. It also doesn't do news but does to interviews of SA musicians.
 
Today is my last day at work and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with being alone for the next two weeks. I had a lot of things planned to keep myself busy but am scared of the isolation and if I can keep things together till next year. Times like these I turn to alcohol because medication doesn't work as well. Just feeling a bit lost.
 
Today is my last day at work and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with being alone for the next two weeks. I had a lot of things planned to keep myself busy but am scared of the isolation and if I can keep things together till next year. Times like these I turn to alcohol because medication doesn't work as well. Just feeling a bit lost.
Don't you have family you can see ?
 
Don't you have family you can see ?
No, with the death of Dan C last year I have no close family left other than my brother who is overseas. My last friend moved to the cape and while we have some conversations sometimes it's not workable. Like @wizardofid I have a mom who is is in the late stages of dementia and might not make it past the next year. Have lost 4 family members since 2020, it's brutal but I'm still trying to keep positive. This christmas will be me, myself and Irene (my midi keyboard).
 
No, with the death of Dan C last year I have no close family left other than my brother who is overseas. My last friend moved to the cape and while we have some conversations sometimes it's not workable. Like @wizardofid I have a mom who is is in the late stages of dementia and might not make it past the next year. Have lost 4 family members since 2020, it's brutal but I'm still trying to keep positive. This christmas will be me, myself and Irene (my midi keyboard).

Yeah I made a plan with my neighbor even thought they don't do Christmas, just not to be alone, same for new year.
 
No, with the death of Dan C last year I have no close family left other than my brother who is overseas. My last friend moved to the cape and while we have some conversations sometimes it's not workable. Like @wizardofid I have a mom who is is in the late stages of dementia and might not make it past the next year. Have lost 4 family members since 2020, it's brutal but I'm still trying to keep positive. This christmas will be me, myself and Irene (my midi keyboard).
Sorry man. That's not nice. Next year you joining the running club (which is also for walking), the paddle club or CrossFit (which is also a sect).
 
Just off the side, gone off meds. Maybe not the best idea, started the beer again. But starting a interactive/non-interactive/interactive/non-interactive hobby like starting a aquarium has helped a bit. (Till the novelty starts waning, there is a build for that)
Found myself staring at it for 20min, it calmed the thoughts and most importantly, helped calm the ADHD, the Kill yourself thoughts, dissolved
 
No, with the death of Dan C last year I have no close family left other than my brother who is overseas. My last friend moved to the cape and while we have some conversations sometimes it's not workable. Like @wizardofid I have a mom who is is in the late stages of dementia and might not make it past the next year. Have lost 4 family members since 2020, it's brutal but I'm still trying to keep positive. This christmas will be me, myself and Irene (my midi keyboard).
Tried joining a Meetup group? Not sure where you live but the hiking one's are quite easy to deal with. Can be chatty if you want or just enjoy the walk if you want. Found it a nice way to spend time with & meet other people.
 
No, with the death of Dan C last year I have no close family left other than my brother who is overseas. My last friend moved to the cape and while we have some conversations sometimes it's not workable. Like @wizardofid I have a mom who is is in the late stages of dementia and might not make it past the next year. Have lost 4 family members since 2020, it's brutal but I'm still trying to keep positive. This christmas will be me, myself and Irene (my midi keyboard).

The MyBB shxt posting committee will be here to keep you company
 
Today is my last day at work and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with being alone for the next two weeks. I had a lot of things planned to keep myself busy but am scared of the isolation and if I can keep things together till next year. Times like these I turn to alcohol because medication doesn't work as well. Just feeling a bit lost.

Try and force yourself to get out a bit. Take a tour of some sort, do a group hike etc. If you look around there are quite a few things that will force interaction. Even a uber to the shops instead of driving or ordering delivery. It can be difficult but even a little human communication can go quite a long way.
 
First Christmas without my husband who passed away cancer at the beginning of this year. My brothers all live far, except for one who is planning to visit for 24th and 25th along with two nephews.

Life has been bittersweet this year and probably will never be the same again. He was my soulmate.

While I don't feel lonely or alone, because I'm an introvert, I miss him like crazy and wish for a speedy exit from this planet.
 
First Christmas without my husband who passed away cancer at the beginning of this year. My brothers all live far, except for one who is planning to visit for 24th and 25th along with two nephews.

Life has been bittersweet this year and probably will never be the same again. He was my soulmate.

While I don't feel lonely or alone, because I'm an introvert, I miss him like crazy and wish for a speedy exit from this planet.

Sorry Jings.
 
First Christmas without my husband who passed away cancer at the beginning of this year. My brothers all live far, except for one who is planning to visit for 24th and 25th along with two nephews.

Life has been bittersweet this year and probably will never be the same again. He was my soulmate.

While I don't feel lonely or alone, because I'm an introvert, I miss him like crazy and wish for a speedy exit from this planet.
I am so sorry Jings. I do hope that this holiday isn't too lonely for you. There is always someone here - so pop in when you are feeling down
 

The thing that’s always saved me so far is turning my depression into rage.
 
Anyone specifically that you let it out at ?

My general answer is inanimate objects (heavy bag etc).

In truth it goes out wider than that. Cutting remarks in lieu of violence at work or whatever.

Not done processing your comment, just thought I’d report progress.
 
First Christmas without my husband who passed away cancer at the beginning of this year. My brothers all live far, except for one who is planning to visit for 24th and 25th along with two nephews.

Life has been bittersweet this year and probably will never be the same again. He was my soulmate.

While I don't feel lonely or alone, because I'm an introvert, I miss him like crazy and wish for a speedy exit from this planet.
those "firsts" are difficult - a void is left behind.

a b/f of mine was killed in a motor vehicle accident some yrs back - suddenly the absence brings a different meaning to certain dates or events.
by coincidence, his funeral was held on the date of my birthday - ever since then i've ignored my birthdays - letting them slip by quietly.

my mother died christmas eve (today) a few years back.
i was on my way back to her place to get her things for her hospital stay (was an emergency admission).
just after uber arrived and we left, i got a call to return to the hospital "as she had taken a turn for the worse".
i get back and am told she had died - i'm led to the resuscitation room, and there is her dead body.
i returned to the hospital at 9pm to meet the undertakers.
the next morning - christmas day - i had to go off to the undertakers to sign docs & make arrangements.
i've never been big on christmas - but now its always a flashback to that resuscitation room & undertakers.

so for me, birthdays and christmas are days i would rather somehow skip.

interestingly many ppl having gone thru similar, prefer to be in company on those dreaded days.
for me - leave me alone to my own devices - i'm much happier that way.
 
for me - leave me alone to my own devices - i'm much happier that way.
i have to admit, i milk it for all its worth.

phones are on flight mode, intercom is switched off.
been in and out the pool all day - a couple of icy beers - music really cranked up - having a good old time doing my own thing.

and yet nobody ever asks me what an i doing, or what was i doing on these days - i sometimes wonder if ppl think i'm sitting here wailing with a black veil over my head mourning.


volume in the lounge right now:
WhatsApp Image 2025-12-24 at 15.53.05.jpeg
 
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