Favourite movie quotes

Blood Diamond

Danny Archer: So you're a fisherman, ha? What do you catch mostly?
Solomon Vandy: Fish.

Danny Archer: T.I.A. This is Africa.

and the guardian:

Billy Hodge: [after hitting his teacher in the face] United States Coast Guard I'm here to help you.

Jake Fischer: I am a rescue swimmer at heart. Born, bred and water fed, HOORAH!
Ben Randall: You must have practiced that all morning goldfish.

Jake Fischer: Mr. Fisher is our high school swim champ but I'm a rescue swimmer at heart
Ben Randall: When you set records in a pool... what if your noseplug didn't work?
[the other cadets smirk]
Ben Randall: Good golly you could've been killed

Jake Fischer: That was definitely NOT in the manual!

Ben Randall: [to his class] Can someone tell me what's the Coast Guard's motto?
Jake Fischer: So others may live, Senior Chief!
Ben Randall: Ooohhh, I feel safer already.

Jake Fischer: You gotta make a move!
Billy Hodge: I can't. I get nervous.
Jake Fischer: You're tellin' me you can jump outta helicopters but you're afraid to go talk to a girl?
Billy Hodge: Uh... pretty much, yea.

Ben Randall: [as Jake is supposed to be performing CPR on a dummy] Why aren't you breathing, Fischer?
Jake Fischer: I wasn't aware it was possible for someone to still be alive and hold their breath for fifteen minutes, Senior Chief.
Ben Randall: Are you a coroner? I didn't think so. It isn't our job to decide if they're dead. Keep breathing.
 
Empire Records:
Joe: And what makes you think that?
Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear.
 
Also from snatch:

Turkish: What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what . . . zee Germans?
Click to expand...

Vinny: What's the matter with that space over there?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: "Too tight?" You could land a jumbo-fu**ing-jet in there!
Click to expand...

This made me laugh sooooo hard :D

Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four-ton truck, Tyrone. It's not a Sosa packet of fu**ing peanuts, is it?
Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
Vinny: It's behind you, Tyrone. Whenever you reverse things come from behind you.
Click to expand...
 
:D

ANCHORMAN
I'm Reg Hartner and this is a News
Now bulletin. A Provasik animal
testing facility in boulder was the
focus of an attack by a terroristic
primate rescue syndicate calling
themselves the Coalition for
Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers.
Or simply, C.L.I.T.

A graphic of the C.L.I.T. logo appears beside him, nailing
home the joke.

ANCHORMAN
In a videotape sent to authorities
this morning, credit for the
liberation of an orangutan from the
lab last night is taken by these men--

A VIDEO CAPTURE of JAY and SILENT BOB from pre-break--in
appears on screen.

ANCHORMAN
--identified in literature that
accompanies the tape as Jay and Silent
Bob. In this chilling clip, they
make it very clear that they are in
control of the C.L.I.T.

On screen is the C.L.I.T. Logo. A digitized voice narrates.

DIGITIZED VOICE
We are the C.L.I.T. None of you are
safe. Now tremble before the might
of our merciless leader.

The logo gives way to the video of Jay and Bob that Sissy
shot before the Provasik break-in. Jay's yelling into the
camera.

JAY
I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER!!!

Coming out of the video footage, the Anchorman shakes his
head, chilled.

ANCHORMAN
Terrifying. Here to help us understand
this footage is Federal Wildlife
Marshal Willenholly.

PULL OUT to reveal Willenholly beside the Anchorman.

ANCHORMAN
Marshal, what can you tell us about
the C.L.I.T.?

WILLENHOLLY
From the intelligence we've been
able to gather, we've discovered
that the C.L.I.T. is a tiny offshoot
of the L.A.B.I.A.

ANCHORMAN
The Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning
Apes movement.

WILLENHOLLY
Exactly. The men you saw in the video
are believed to be the masterminds
responsible for the frenzied C.L.I.T.
activity last night. They go by the
obvious code names "Jay" and "Silent
Bob."
(to camera)
If you should come across them or
any other C.L.I.T.-ies, please--
exercise extreme caution.

INT. POTZEK'S INC. OFFICE--NIGHT

On the TV screen is Willenholly and the video capture of Jay
and Silent Bob. Holden looks up from his drawing table,
shocked.

ANCHORMAN (O.S.)
(from TV)
Marshal, how do you respond to
allegations that Federal Wildlife
Marshal's Office allowed the C.L.I.T.
to slip through their fingers?

WILLENHOLLY (O.S.)
Nonsense. We're all over the C.L.I.T.,
Reg.

HOLDEN
(shakes his head)
Nights like this, I miss dating a
lesbian.

INT. QUICK STOP--NIGHT

From behind the register, Dante and Randal stare at the TV,
slack-jawed.

ANCHORMAN (O.S.)
(from TV)
Is there also speculation that Jay
and Silent bob may be responsible
for the Diamond Exchange jewel heist
that occurred in the same vicinity
of downtown Boulder last night?

WILLENHOLLY (O.S.)
There's nothing to suggest that, no.
But these men are still to be
considered very dangerous.

RANDAL
(to Dante)
I told you that restraining order
was a good idea.

EXT. SEEDY MOTEL ROOMS--SAME

On the second-floor terrace of a run-down, roadside motel,
Sissy, Missy and Chrissy dance in their undies and drink
champagne. On the first floor terrace below, Justice leans
against the open sliding glass door, watching the news report
on a TV inside the room with the volume turned way up.

ANCHORMAN
(on TV)
Is that your cell phone?

WILLENHOLLY
(on TV)
Yes, Excuse me.
(on TV, into cell
phone)
Federal Wildlife Marshal. I'm on my way!
(shuts phone; to anchorman)
We got 'em. They're in Utah.
(to camera)
Citizens of Utah--steer clear of the
C.L.I.T. Stimulation of the C.L.I.T.
is not recommended.
Click to expand...
 
Gentlemen! You can't fight in here. This is the War Room.

Colonel "Bat" Guano: I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts.
 
It's gotta be Snatch.

Vinnie Jones

Bullet Tooth Tony:
So, you are obviously the big dick.
The men on the side of ya are your balls.
There are two types of balls.
There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever.
They smell ***** and they want a piece of the action.
And you thought you smelled some good old *****, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time.
But you've got your parties mangled up, there's no ***** here,
Just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman.
Like a prick, you are having second thoughts.
You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya.
The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun.
And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point
five O" written on the side of mine,
Should precipitate your balls into shrinking,
Along with your presence.
Now... **** off.
 
Turkish: My guess is the rabbit gets f Llcked
Tommy: What, like proper f Llcked?
 
Donnie Darko

Donnie: [earnestly] First of all: Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette - Gargamel did! She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gangbang scenario - Huh! I - it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual, th-they don't even have...reproductive organs under those little...white...pants. That's what's so illogical, y'know, about being a Smurf. Y'know what's the point of living... if you don't have a dck?
 
Bond:

"Why do Chinese girls taste different from other girls" - You Only Live Twice.

"No! No! No! No more foreplay" - Goldeneye

"They come in Pints?" Merry from "Lord Of The Rings - Fellowship Of The Rings"

"Yeah! I Can Fly!" - Tony Stark - Iron Man
 
Can't really think all the way back, but this is the best I've heard this year:
Hostage Taker: [Hancock arrives on the scene] Oh sh*t, Handjob!
Hancock: Yep, now just tell me what you need.
Hostage Taker: Well I need them to put those guns down.
Hancock: [to the cops] All right fellas just put the guns down.
Hostage Taker: Now I need you and that tight ass Wolverine outfit to get me outta here assh*le!
Click to expand...
 
"Fly, you fools!"

"Do you believe in fate, Neo?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"'Cos I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life."
"I know exactly what you mean."
 
"My gawd, i haven't been f Llcked like that since grade-school" Marla Singer, Fight Club
 
how to rob a bank said:
Nick: A tactical analysis? What would that currently be?
Simon: Fcked.
Nick: Great.
Click to expand...

perfect score said:
Roy: [looking at a crow in a tree] Caw! Caw! Caw, caw, caaaaaw!
Matty: [to Kyle] You've assembled a crack team, chief.
...
Roy: In the woods?... With that big ass crow?
[has a flashback to the woods]
Click to expand...

And pretty much anything from snatch.
snatch said:
Sol: You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sat in a car that is worth less than your shirt?
Click to expand...

lucky number slevin said:
: "The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."
Click to expand...
 
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Old one from Clint Eastwood- Do you feel lucky punk, well do you? still one of my favs
 
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