Getting over a romantic heartbreak

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Only time helps you understand what went wrong...

Don't message her, or write her letters etc. I'm sure you've done that already, guys always do the same thing so don't feel bad on that front.

Just try and keep your mind occupied. Take all the photos off your phone and store them somewhere else. Don't read old messages, archive all that. Don't listen to old songs or do anything that reminds you of her.

It takes time until your mind is strong enough to process all that.

Don't go out drinking to numb the pain, it doesn't work and only makes it worse.

You need to focus on you and understand where it all went wrong. Work on your negatives so it doesn't happen again. Talk to yourself so to speak... I could have done better here, there etc. this is not a finger pointing blame game, this is an understanding and work in progress.
 
supersunbird said:
Hey, I didn't even realise how deep I had fallen until she left me. Not normal for this type of thing to happen to me.
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That sucks man, but at least she didn't waste any more of you time.

The fact that you go emotionally invested here means you are ready for something important. She wasn't, or at least wasn't seeing the same future.
3 months is long enough to get locked in. I have been there.
Spend some time mourning this loss and then align to what you want again.
Go watch "500 days of summer", put some distance between yourself and the ex and then start again.

I met my wife a few months after one of the biggest heart breaks in my life. It was only 4 months or so and completely one sided but still hurt.
 
supersunbird said:
How does one get over a romantic heartbreak?

Very recently got dumped (after about 3 months together, I thought things were going well), very painful (in my chest) and sad. Last time my heart was broken was 2012 but it wasn't nearly this bad, the other 2 relationships over the intervening years didn't end in heartbreak. My sleep is all messed up, I do not want to work, food is off little interest beyond having to force myself because my stomach is complaining.

So to the people with more experience in these things, how does one deal with it?
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Been there, done that. Even after 2 months i've gone so all-in emotionally its like being hit by a train over and over and over again.

Unfortunately - firstly - the old cliche is true: Time does heal everything. So in time you will feel better.

Until then however, distraction distraction distraction... (not alcohol, I mean fill your life with things that distract you emotionally - new friends, old friends you've neglected, travel, buy stuff, focus on a hobby etc)
 
Avbob se stoep said:
The more you let yourself go, the harder you are going to spiral. Sleep is super important for all your hormone levels to regulate correctly, which make you feel normal. When hormonal imbalances happen, that's when you start feeling like **** and depressed. In my opinion, you are going to have to take some time to focus on yourself to bounce back to feeling and operating like normal again. The sadness becomes less with time, so you are going to have to grind through for a bit.

What helped for me was going to the gym. Nothing like heartbreak to motivate you to get yourself going in the gym. Some people like running or bicycling to run away from their "demons".

All the best.
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The key to getting over any breakup is to get onto another horse, so to speak. Even the OP knows it.

Like you said it's about self love and doing stuff for yourself. Start looking at the pros of not having anyone in your life and the freedom that brings with it. Gym isn't for everyone, just do stuff that you enjoy that you didn't have the time for before. Eventually it'll start getting less and less.

There OP, we just saved you an hour of paying a psychologist...
 
neoprema said:
Been there, done that. Even after 2 months i've gone so all-in emotionally its like being hit by a train over and over and over again.

Unfortunately - firstly - the old cliche is true: Time does heal everything. So in time you will feel better.

Until then however, distraction distraction distraction... (not alcohol, I mean fill your life with things that distract you emotionally - new friends, old friends you've neglected, travel, buy stuff, focus on a hobby etc)
Click to expand...
No not distraction, self focus. Distraction doesn't address underlying issues with yourself, which is there's nothing wrong with you. Except OP, for some reason he has a penis but lost the will to pomp...
 
Wrath of Khan said:
Only time helps you understand what went wrong...

Don't message her, or write her letters etc. I'm sure you've done that already, guys always do the same thing so don't feel bad on that front.

Just try and keep your mind occupied. Take all the photos off your phone and store them somewhere else. Don't read old messages, archive all that. Don't listen to old songs or do anything that reminds you of her.

It takes time until your mind is strong enough to process all that.

Don't go out drinking to numb the pain, it doesn't work and only makes it worse.

You need to focus on you and understand where it all went wrong. Work on your negatives so it doesn't happen again. Talk to yourself so to speak... I could have done better here, there etc. this is not a finger pointing blame game, this is an understanding and work in progress.
Click to expand...

I do not know what went wrong, which is bad for me.
 
supersunbird said:
How does one get over a romantic heartbreak?

Very recently got dumped (after about 3 months together, I thought things were going well), very painful (in my chest) and sad. Last time my heart was broken was 2012 but it wasn't nearly this bad, the other 2 relationships over the intervening years didn't end in heartbreak. My sleep is all messed up, I do not want to work, food is off little interest beyond having to force myself because my stomach is complaining.

So to the people with more experience in these things, how does one deal with it?
Click to expand...
How did things end? Why did she break up with you?
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
No not distraction, self focus. Distraction doesn't address underlying issues with yourself, which is there's nothing wrong with you. Except OP, for some reason he has a penis but lost the will to pomp...
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Its not just about the sex, its about the emotional connectivity and heart as well.
 
supersunbird said:
When did that happen and why didn't anyone tell me? :mad:
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Then that is something that you need to ask her and listen to her reply...
This is not a "but I did this and gave you that.. response"

You can provide everything for someone, but if you are not there emotionally and are selfish then that is a problem. One needs to listen to their needs, it can be something small to you, but to them it is huge... small chips can crumble an entire house.
 
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