Girlfriend letting go

Pho3nix said:
What were the other 4 conversations about?
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1. Fire someone
2. Telling someone who I really and get along with that I also have to fire them if their performance does not improve (sounds easier than it is)
3. When I was young i had to go to the pharmacy and get the "morning after pill", back then this was REALLY hard as you have to discuss this with the pharmacist, Now its like buying smarties :p
4. Telling a best friend no one likes his wife
5. Then this right here.
 
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Lament said:
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i had to go to the pharmacy and get the "morning after pill" ... Now its like buying smarties
...
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They allowed you (as a guy) to buy a "morning after" pill? Did you fill out the form?

Just curious XD
 
Cr419 said:
Good on you for sticking with your girl. Would have been easy to just end it instead of facing the problem. Good luck.
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Thanks
I'm not a quiter :p. But believe me, she is still angry as hell, luckily she did not leave me, but it was real close.
 
ShaunSA said:
Angry because you chose to communicate? She's a keeper alright.
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Well, that probably depends on HOW he communicated it. "We need to talk about your weight. I find you less attractive now that you've gotten SO big" will do that....
 
Lament said:
Its difficult for me writing this and asking for advice since I know I’m going to get flamed….probably badly…but here goes :
Last year November I started dating a girl, we have been together ever since. She is extremely nice and I do love her. She has a good job, has her own place, I adore her family so everything is just perfect.
Now comes the problem, since we met she has probably picked up 40kg, I don’t even know how this is possible. Each time I see her its as if she is even bigger than last. When we met she was average weight, now she is just letting go and I don’t know what to do, I have given subtle hints to lose weight but she just brushes it off. I know if I tell her flat-out to lose weight or lose me it will break her heart as she is one of the firm believers in “love conquers all”.
As I said before, I do love her as she is really a wonderful person, but I find her gross and cant even touch her anymore. Before anyone tells me I’m an A-hole and shallow, if there was a button in my brain i could push to just accept her, believe me I would have pushed it a long time ago. Unfortunately me feeling this way is not a choice, same as some people don’t like avo’s….Its simply who I am.

So ja, I don’t know what to do….im thinking be honest and straight with her as it is a problem which is really pushing me away, but I know this is going to break her heart.

I might also add, im not a thin guy or anything, I wear a XL shirt. But im pretty much in perportian. And since we have met I believe I have actually lost weight.
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You're right you really are shallow, but not necessarily an A-hole.

1. You really think she will be heart broken if you break up with her.
2. You can't see past her physical looks despite claiming to love her. If you truly loved her, you could be unhappy about the weight gain, but you wouldn't want to go as far as breaking up with her. I think you care about her, but don't love her.

You admit that you're fat. Maybe she feels that since you're fat and she accepts you just the way you are, then you will also reciprocate and accept her just the way she is. Most couples tend to be similar in weight, so maybe you're the bad influence in her life? You might need to find out whether she has developed any medical issues or something has changed in her life that has affected her emotionally. Some women tend to over eat when they're unhappy.

If there isn't anything mentally or physically wrong with her then be honest and tell her the truth. Don't go blurting out that you find her repulsive and can't even touch her. Be tactful about it and just say something along the lines of - you found her more attractive when she was slimmer and she motivated you to lose weight. Now you're worried about her weight gain and it's affecting your attraction to her. Something like that.

No ways getting past it though, you will definitely hurt her feelings, but at least it will be out in the open and the two of you can deal with it. Whether your relationship will survive is another matter.
 
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