Girlfriend letting go

Patrick_Hockstetter said:
Women often gain weight in a relationship. I think its because they feel secure and loved unconditionally. Which says a lot about you by the way. Thumbs up.

Its a difficult decision to make though. You will be judged by her friends and family if you break it off with her now.
Click to expand...

And he will have to admit to himself that he is maybe shallower than he thought he was. All of this is OK. There is no shame in liking what you like. If you no longer find her physically attractive, then it would be better for everyone involved to break it off earlier rather than later. She will then be free to find someone who is OK or even happy with the fact that she is now a (probably) 100kg woman.

There needs to be a discussion though. Sometimes people gain weight due to life's circumstances (40kg though...), and maybe she will learn to love an active, healthy lifestyle.

I have seen women gain weight early in their relationships, then as normality sets in they manage to get their routines in order and lose weight again.
 
40Kg though.

Must be very hard for a guy to see his SO grow so much.

At least not married. Move on .

Can a female on mybb give some input?
 
Kerrits said:
And he will have to admit to himself that he is maybe shallower than he thought he was. All of this is OK. There is no shame in liking what you like. If you no longer find her physically attractive, then it would be better for everyone involved to break it off earlier rather than later. She will then be free to find someone who is OK or even happy with the fact that she is now a (probably) 100kg woman.

There needs to be a discussion though. Sometimes people gain weight due to life's circumstances (40kg though...), and maybe she will learn to love an active, healthy lifestyle.

I have seen women gain weight early in their relationships, then as normality sets in they manage to get their routines in order and lose weight again.
Click to expand...

Hate that word, SHALLOW. uggg.
Shallow is just the word that unattractive or unhealthy people use to try to guilt people outside of their league into lowering their standards.

We are all shallow. Until we have spent enough time with someone to fall so far inlove with them that unexpected changes to their physical appearance will hardly change our affections.
OP has not spent enough time with this person to build up that level of affection. And now he is feeling "Guilty" that the world expects that he should have been that "deep".
 
SoulTax said:
Hate that word, SHALLOW. uggg.
Shallow is just the word that unattractive or unhealthy people use to try to guilt people outside of their league into lowering their standards.

We are all shallow. Until we have spent enough time with someone to fall so far inlove with them that unexpected changes to their physical appearance will hardly change our affections.
OP has not spent enough time with this person to build up that level of affection. And now he is feeling "Guilty" that the world expects that he should have been that "deep".
Click to expand...

One would expect a womans body to change after pregnancy and a birth. This is normal.

But a man is attracted to a woman who is aesthetically pleasing. This is normal.

Putting on more than 10kg is just not going to cut it.
 
SoulTax said:
Hate that word, SHALLOW. uggg.
Shallow is just the word that unattractive or unhealthy people use to try to guilt people outside of their league into lowering their standards.

We are all shallow. Until we have spent enough time with someone to fall so far inlove with them that unexpected changes to their physical appearance will hardly change our affections.
OP has not spent enough time with this person to build up that level of affection. And now he is feeling "Guilty" that the world expects that he should have been that "deep".
Click to expand...

I love it when people try to attack other people who admit to being attracted to certain body types and appearance as shallow.

Usually this comes from people who have been in a relationship for some time with an attractive woman. And I'm like, so why did you get with her in the first place? Was it her amazing personality? You were taking your psychic pills that day and you knew that this beautiful woman also happened to have an amazing personality?
 
Emjay said:
The OP is not being shallow. 40kg is a significant amount of weight. Imagine that on a small frame. It is almost a whole person on its own. There is a difference between love and desire. It is possible to love someone and not desire them. It's very hard to keep that feeling of desire and passion in long term relationships. Adding 40kg of fat into the mix does not really help. 7 months is not long term at all, but I challenge you guys to tell me you would still be attracted to your GF/wife after such a massive weight gain. I see Pitbull as an exception.

To put it into perspective, 40kg of weight gain in 7 months (November to May) is putting on 190g of fat per day. That is an extra 2800kj per day. You won't believe it, but two packets of microwave popcorn is around that amount. It is possible. I would still recommend visiting a doctor though. Contraception, especially the injection types, have a tendency to cause some impressive weight gain. I would look at this as well.
Click to expand...
Fat girls do it better
 
Ancalagon said:
I love it when people try to attack other people who admit to being attracted to certain body types and appearance as shallow.

Usually this comes from people who have been in a relationship for some time with an attractive woman. And I'm like, so why did you get with her in the first place? Was it her amazing personality? You were taking your psychic pills that day and you knew that this beautiful woman also happened to have an amazing personality?
Click to expand...

Yeah. Since I got fat I laugh at my wife when she says I'm sexy. I tell her if she loves this, there's something wrong with her. :p
 
Lament said:
Last year November I started dating a girl

...

since we met she has probably picked up 40kg
Click to expand...

2016? So 7 months?

That does not sound right. Picking up 10kg is a lot in that time period, nevermind 40kg (I'm assuming that's an exaggeration).

Is she pregnant and perhaps not telling you?
 
esvi said:
2016? So 7 months?

That does not sound right. Picking up 10kg is a lot in that time period, nevermind 40kg (I'm assuming that's an exaggeration).

Is she pregnant and perhaps not telling you?
Click to expand...

He didn't tell us he naaid her. I wonder if he did. But 40kg? :crylaugh:
 
esvi said:
2016? So 7 months?

That does not sound right. Picking up 10kg is a lot in that time period, nevermind 40kg (I'm assuming that's an exaggeration).

Is she pregnant and perhaps not telling you?
Click to expand...

It's not likely (because you'd have to eat junk every day), but definitely possible to pick up that much due to food. Watch Supersize Me to see someone pick up over 11KG in 30 days.

Also, he used 40 as an estimate, it could be 30 for all we know.
 
Slootvreter said:
He didn't tell us he naaid her. I wonder if he did. But 40kg? :crylaugh:
Click to expand...

I doubt he weighed her, it probably just seems like 40kg to him.

One thing I can think of to make her gain so much weight so quickly would be a lil' Lament :D

Not sure how much is "normal" for that scenario... I would assume 15-20kg?
 
Ho3n3r said:
It's not likely (because you'd have to eat junk every day), but definitely possible to pick up that much due to food. Watch Supersize Me to see someone pick up over 11KG in 30 days.

Also, he used 40 as an estimate, it could be 30 for all we know.
Click to expand...

Wouldn't he notice her eating 60 burgers a day?
 
esvi said:
I doubt he weighed her, it probably just seems like 40kg to him.

One thing I can think of to make her gain so much weight so quickly would be a lil' Lament :D

Not sure how much is "normal" for that scenario... I would assume 15-20kg?
Click to expand...

Fair point! :D Yeah, probably looked like 40kg, not knowing what 40kg actually looks like hahaha. But if it looked like that to him, it must still be a substantial expansion!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X