Help! Crazy woman advice

[Hamster]

I'm sure there are some programmer ladies out there. Maybe not so much in South AFrica though.,

Ugos :/

 

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

It's like Raid to a bug. Salt to a slug.

"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a software developer"
*dazed look*
"I write computer programs"
"Oh...you must be smart"

*gone*

Next time they ask me I'm just gonna tell them I whore around and steal my mother's money. Seems to work for most guys out there

Or tell them something really dramatic like:
You: I'm not in a good mood
She: what's wrong.
You: My sister is pregnant.
She: its not the end of the world.
You don't understand, my parents think I impregnated her since we usually shower together
She: Excuse me, just going to the bathroom quickly

 

[bwana]

I`ve known this girl for a week,shes batsit insane

Event 0:
she sends me flirty texts such as "Mwah Miss you",
"I cant take it if anything bad happens to you",
"I hope we`ll be close in future"
"Heyy are you busy?,wanna have dinner?"

Event 1:
We go for lunch and she insists on choosing my order for me(control freak much?)
I refuse and order what I want,she gets grumpy and beechies
Doesn`t talk to me,makes snide comments,criticizes my choices.

later on she starts talking to me like nothing happened...DAFUQ??


Event 2:
Suddenly out of the blue she starts asking me about my sexual relations with females.
I mention a few(bad idea probably)

And suddenly I`m the spawn of satan,I`ve committed and unforgivable offence(I`m still a virgin,technically)
So now she`s saying I`m morally inferior than her and I`m going to burn in hell.

the next day shes back to normal like nothing happened again and tells me about her boyfriend(see the cycle)
DAFUQ No 2

Event 3:
She invites herself to my place for a while and looks for something to drink,she finds it and drinks a coffee
then she takes out a book and starts reading
DAFUQ No 3
1.
I am seriously stumped about wth is going on...anybody can make this sense for me?
2.
It seems like she thinks I`m her play thing?


I don`t enjoy her company anymore... I`d like to cut off/reduce contact without souring our relations(I don`t want to die,or be drowned in sheep blood while sleeping.)

I see her atleast weekly due to mutual work...
3.How do I get away?

The inevitable question....pm for pics
I`l censor out irrelevant stuff and her identity(like those black bars over their eyes and genitals)

Congratulations. You're married.

 

[Hamster]

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

 

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

Congratulations. You're married.

 

[ponder]

Sex with the batschit crazy ones is usually great! Once you get bored or it becomes a bit to much get rid of her.

 

[Suspect99]

Where does she fit on this scale?

 

[rubytox]

Maybe she's on medication for some mental illness?
Have you checked her pupils? When she acts normal, are they dilated?

 

[Voicy]

Chicks are car guards™ Kick her inna panty. Also, never stick your dick in crazy.

My work here is done.

 

[The_Mowgs]

P
I
C
T
U
R
E
S
!
!
!

 

[DerpiesFreud]

I have a solution....

Why dnt u start acting crazier.... like

1) sniff her out of the blue
2) storm out screaming n ranting and act like nothing happened an hour later
3) carry a piece of ur gfs hair around with you and talk to her through it
4) refuse to turn left when walking, instead make a 270 degree right turn
and so on.....

Your rep might take some damage but at least you will be alive....

My rep is already in tatters... anymore and I`d be shipped of to the asylum

I would just tell her to stop acting so strange and to leave me alone.

WTF is wrong with you, fission?!!! Your in the prime of your life.

Tell her you're really into her and you'd love to have a kiss (French open). Then tap that schit! And while you're at it pop it in the poopa!

Then next time you're playing tennis you make a Mr. Bean face to let her know that you're in charge now.

Romeo is back!

:erm: I cant tolerate being in the same room as her,how would I manage sticking it in her?

Take her to dinner and when the mood is set take her hand, softly, look her straight in the eyes and tell her you are gay. Or that you picked up some incurable STD at a zoo last weekend.
again asylum territory...
Either way, still waiting for the PICS.

Or this approach. Get her in bed and REALLY get your freak on. I mean do the kinda stuff you only read about on the interweb - and I mean the kinda stuff that would freak out a hooker. It's all about YOU for a change.

Hopefully you do something so weird that you would freak her out completely and she'd just leave you alone.

hopefully shes not into whatever crazy stuff there is out there
As said I`d like to solve this without getting my reputation in tatters...
Being blamed for sleeping with my sister would be such an example :erm:

I also tried teaching her about basic data structures and processor architecture,didn`t work very well
She one upped me by talking about Organic Chemistry,Wynberg taxis and sandwiches

and the above statements would sour relations which is what I`m trying to avoid

good news is that I haven`t spoken to her in 3 days
Whoever wants pics,send me a PM so I know who it is...

oh and sticking ones meat in crazy is usually great,except when they turn violent afterwards and try to make holes in my rubbers...

oh and shes really religious(see event2),so I doub`t she'll put out
and its possible shes on medication/drugs

 

[bwana]

And suddenly I`m the spawn of satan,I`ve committed and unforgivable offence(I`m still a virgin,technically)

oh and sticking ones meat in crazy is usually great,except when they turn violent afterwards and try to make holes in my rubbers..

Something does not add up.

 

[biometrics]

BS.

 

[DerpiesFreud]

Something does not add up.

BS.

Technically
I do have rubbers,which had holes in them.
I didn`t stick my meat in them due to threats of stalking,kidnapping and following me to the depths of hell after the act

 

[Hamster]

BS.

This.


And if it is not THIS then just know that men and women weren't made to be friends. You have what seems to be friendship but the moment you get that first "heart-ache" it's over. You are either a couple or never really spending time together again.


But this.

 

[DerpiesFreud]

This.


And if it is not THIS then just know that men and women weren't made to be friends. You have what seems to be friendship but the moment you get that first "heart-ache" it's over. You are either a couple or never really spending time together again.


But this.

Dafuq,I have plenty of female friends...she was one till the crazy stuff started

 

[biometrics]

Dafuq,I have plenty of female friends...she was one till the crazy stuff started

Soort soek soort.

 

[DerpiesFreud]

Soort soek soort.

I`m eccentric,not crazy

 

[Swa]

The inevitable question....pm for pics
I`l censor out irrelevant stuff and her identity(like those black bars over their eyes and genitals)

You have those? :erm: Anyway sounds like she's obsessive and paranoid. Not bipolar but perhaps schizophrenic. The reason for her sudden mood swings could be that she was just trying her luck but then realised she wasn't going to get away with it. You can wait to see if things change if you're interested in her and not scared of her turning out to be a psycho. On the other hand if you have those pics I don't think you can complain of weird.

I don`t think she has romantic interest in me,she`s said so many times... and she has a boyfriend
Which makes her behaviour even weirder... :erm:

Break it off!!!

The best way to get rid of chicks is to wee on them.

Yeah, and hope she isn't in to that.

 

[Shake&Bake]

Congratulations. You're married.

Nominates for "Post of the Thread Award"

Nukey - CPT's getting you rattled up for all the wrong reasons.

Just be firm and ignore.
Or at the very least, don't let her come over - unless its for batsch1t crazy sex.