How to return supposedly non-returnable items to Amazon?

No, because it's not eligible for return.
Yeah but that's surely contingent on you getting what you paid for. You can't advertise X, send me Y, but then also claim it's not eligible for refunds. Glad you're happy to take being scammed lying down, but I reckon most people would try to do something in a situation like this.
 
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And I bet you get to keep it too?
Yes, it seems with an item which isn't eligible for return if there is an issue with it they refund without needing it to be returned.
 
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