How's Tinder these days?

Harmonic said:
Hy
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Haai
 
Merlin said:
I regained my bachelor status a few months ago, after more than 3 years...

Having been through the emotional wringer, I put the past behind me and availed myself to meeting someone again. I opted to try out various apps again, with no expectations. My experiences have been a mixed bag, to say the least.

I swiped right notably more often than I got matches. Of those matches, probably around half never bothered to reach out nor respond when I did.

Some have turned into pen pals, which I'm OK with. Not every connection needs to move beyond platonic status and I was open about making new friends first and foremost.
I've met four people in person via the apps and one outside the apps. One of the former and the latter I have a definite romantic interest in on my part.

All that aside, I sit disheartened though as the comms have by and large been erratic and meets are non-committal, at best, in spite of assertions that things have gone well and the interest is mutual.

I just don't get it. If the interest is mutual and things are flowing, why does the interest drop and the communication stall?

There is a definite pattern.

This topic has come up with two of the friends I've met via the apps, just this past week. Their experiences are similar.

Quite by fluke, I stumbled upon this article a few days ago and I have to say, I strongly agree with the conclusions that are reached within it.

www.theatlantic.com

Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex?

Despite the easing of taboos and the rise of hookup apps, Americans are in the midst of a sex recession.
www.theatlantic.com www.theatlantic.com

There is a major problem with the way the we, as society, meet, communicate and connect with those around us these days.

I've been chatting with a number of friends over the past couple months, around my age (41) and older, for context. I'm both shocked and saddened by the number of them that have largely sworn off dating, coupling, fairytale romance notions and are, for all intents and purposes, jaded when it comes to love and romance.

I'm really trying to see past all this, however it's not easy.
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As a man, this is pretty normal. Most men do not do very well on apps. There are way more men than women on the apps and women are very selective because of the amount of options and matches they get. There was a stat that men swipe right on roughly 50% of profiles and for women, it's less than 10% IIRC.

Some women also have a second filter after you match with them where they eliminate certain guys based on the options they have and this is why they do not respond. Some also just use the apps for validation and don't respond to any guys.

The only guys that do well on these apps are good-looking guys and even some of them do badly if they do not have nice photos.

A lady friend who is fairly good-looking said she got 41 likes in a day and this is the norm for any fairly attractive lady on the apps. For an attractive lady, every second or third guy she swipes on will probably be a match, so most guys are going to have a very very difficult time if they rely solely on apps to meet people.
 
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When I was in Ghana, Kenya and Nigeria earlier this year I was receiving about 60-70 likes a day. Any chick I swiped on was a match,

Back here in SA I receive about 2 likes a day lol.
 
Stickfigure said:
When I was in Ghana, Kenya and Nigeria earlier this year I was receiving about 60-70 likes a day. Any chick I swiped on was a match,
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Chances are that a lot of the matches in Nigeria were scammers. Kenyan and Filipina women do have a reputation for using apps to find a rich husband/visa sponsor so the Kenyan ones were probably mostly legit. Can't comment on Ghana.

But yeah, if you are white, white guys tend to do well in places where they are revered even if they are average-looking. Asian and Indian guys tend to have it the worst on dating apps, OKC released data which confirmed this some years ago. I do think that Asian guys will do better going forward given the rise of K-Pop which has given them an image boost. It's not rare to find Western women going to Asia to find a boyfriend nowadays and K-Pop has definitely had a role to play in this.

With black guys, it depends on where they are. They tend to do well in liberal areas.
 
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