I am having a breakdown

Pho3nix said:
But you know the family will never agree to a divorce. I've seen family meetings where the man was physically abusing the wife and they were told to stick it out.
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Telling them about their son's shenanigans is just a way to make them aware that they have groomed a devil & you are now stuck with it.
That way, even if things do go sour & you pack & leave... they cant really blame you in the long run.

But as with all things in life, the uncles sit around & try to smooth things over... few weeks later their devil is back to his old tricks again *sigh*
 
By family I am also referring to the *negotiators* who originally came to your family to ask for your hand in marriage. Not just his mom & dad.
 
ice_cubes said:
Telling them about their son's shenanigans is just a way to make them aware that they have groomed a devil & you are now stuck with it.
That way, even if things do go sour & you pack & leave... they cant really blame you in the long run.

But as with all things in life, the uncles sit around & try to smooth things over... few weeks later their devil is back to his old tricks again *sigh*
Click to expand...

Fair enough. Just not one to place much faith in such.
If my wife cheated, there wouldn't be a meeting. I'd want her out. She can explain why she needs to move back in with her parents.

/wonders if this will impact my chances with ice_cubes sister :p
 
Sinbad said:
Sort out the maintenance thing. It's for your kid, not for you and your husband, and to be frank it's none of his business.
That will also give you a bit of leeway when you decide to leave your husband should you do so.
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This is all you need to take from this thread.

Make sure you can support yourself and your child first. You and your child come first.
 
ice_cubes said:
By family I am also referring to the *negotiators* who originally came to your family to ask for your hand in marriage. Not just his mom & dad.
Click to expand...

True, I suppose the whole "Negotiators" thing is worth going to in that sort of culture. I still sort of feel like the first attempt should always be direct, then if that fails, tell the negotiators on your way out the door. But meh, it is not my culture, so I wouldn't understand the nuances involved.
 
yes its a cultural obligation unfortunately. if we were not married i would be out of the door. but i cant just pack and go. Just as his parents/uncles were involved when we got married. they have to be involved when we are dropping each other off this journey. consulting the parents is a way of building a case, so that when i finally leave, there is already reasons put forward and its clear I have tried to make it work. same goes with him. If i give him issues in the marriage, he first has to inform my parents/uncles before running to the courts.
 
ice_cubes said:
Telling them about their son's shenanigans is just a way to make them aware that they have groomed a devil & you are now stuck with it.
That way, even if things do go sour & you pack & leave... they cant really blame you in the long run.

But as with all things in life, the uncles sit around & try to smooth things over... few weeks later their devil is back to his old tricks again *sigh*
Click to expand...

^^^^this.
:mad:
 
Pho3nix said:
Fair enough. Just not one to place much faith in such.
If my wife cheated, there wouldn't be a meeting. I'd want her out. She can explain why she needs to move back in with her parents.

/wonders if this will impact my chances with ice_cubes sister :p
Click to expand...

she's single again :)
 
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