Love Woes

[Wall]

Sorry Bud

 

[Rocket-Boy]

She was just the wrong person, dont let that change your outlook or make you out to be someone you are not.
When you find the right one it will all just work.

 

[grok]

So what have i learned from this?, well for one don’t try to be a good guy and a wonderful boyfriend, be a insensitive dick, they seem to like that.

It's like you just answered your own question ..

 

[Noob-Noob]

Lament, the thing is, if I may put it bluntly, you were too nice. You became predictable and boring.

You have already said she was in to 'bad boys'. These kinds of women want to have an uncertainty in their relationships. They want to feel a constant power struggle or want you to be the dominant one.

I was and still am like you, to an extent. You need to stop being the nice guy and start being the good guy. Stake out some ground for yourself. Develop your personality more (for you, not her).

That said, I no longer go after these types of women. Way too much work and life is too short to try and please a woman that high maintenance (emotionally and/or financially).

Good luck going forward.

She was just the wrong person, dont let that change your outlook or make you out to be someone you are not.
When you find the right one it will all just work.

What both of you are saying i understand 100% and i agree with it,
What bothers me is she told me i was the type of guy she was searching for, i told her from the start the type of guy i was, and she was more than happy with it, she said she did not want another bad boy, believe me i don't go out searching for high maintenance woman, she did not ask for anything i did for her, but ooo did she LOVE it.
But yeah the problem here was probably more her than me, i think she was not sure what she wanted. Even though i'm pretty pissed and down, i'm okay, its what the family and friends are going to say that gets me really down, after everything i told them, I'm so embarrassed i even deleted my FB.

 

[Segg]

Typical, would put money on her having found someone else.

Move on, don't allow her to use you.

THIS!!!!!

I know a few people like that, one in particular went through one guy in 2 weeks, like a month later she is with another guy, difference was that the first guy is a decent bloke, second guy constantly belittles those around him and is 3 or 4 years older. I think its ruined quite a few friendships in that old circle for sure!

Just my 2c up above, chances are you'll be better off without her. Go have a mens night out with some old mates on Friday

 

[Deadmanza]

What both of you are saying i understand 100% and i agree with it,
What bothers me is she told me i was the type of guy she was searching for, i told her from the start the type of guy i was, and she was more than happy with it, she said she did not want another bad boy, believe me i don't go out searching for high maintenance woman, she did not ask for anything i did for her, but ooo did she LOVE it.
But yeah the problem here was probably more her than me, i think she was not sure what she wanted. Even though i'm pretty pissed and down, i'm okay, its what the family and friends are going to say that gets me really down, after everything i told them, I'm so embarrassed i even deleted my FB.

Why should you be embarrassed? As far as you were concerned it was going to last, because of how she was acting, from what you say she was probably saying some things that made you believe that she was the one.

Besides who cares what people think or say?

 

[DeathOnSight]

Perhaps she realized she liked the things you did for her more than actually liking you.
Maybe the sushi thing was the last deciding factor in her mind.
Either way,crazy i tell you

 

[semblance]

What both of you are saying i understand 100% and i agree with it,
What bothers me is she told me i was the type of guy she was searching for, i told her from the start the type of guy i was, and she was more than happy with it, she said she did not want another bad boy, believe me i don't go out searching for high maintenance woman, she did not ask for anything i did for her, but ooo did she LOVE it.
But yeah the problem here was probably more her than me, i think she was not sure what she wanted. Even though i'm pretty pissed and down, i'm okay, its what the family and friends are going to say that gets me really down, after everything i told them, I'm so embarrassed i even deleted my FB.

Never believe what a women tells you. They don't know what they want (or at least very few do).

Judge women the way you should judge everyone. By their actions.

Even then, the unpredictability in women (people actually) is always something to keep note of in the back of your mind. Nothing stops her from saying the exact same thing even if you were together for 10 years and had children.

Anyway, start no contact with this woman now and move on. She'll come to realise how much you were worth one day and what a mistake she made. I implore you to not take her back, unless you like being a doormat.

 

[TehStranger]

Sorry to hear, never a nice situation.

I may have missed it, but how long were you two involved for?

 

[TelkomUseless]

Naah, i knew after that it was over, thanked her for being devious, and deleted her number.
She could have told me before i wasted R400 on bloody sushi.

I just don't understand, i did nothing wrong, we have not had a single fight or disagreement, i took all my previous mistakes with woman and made sure i did not repeat them, she still told me literally 2 days ago how crazy she was about me, and still....
I'm actually quite upset and sad about this, i told my whole family and all my friends what a wonderful woman she is and how happy she makes me feel, what the hell am i supposed to tell them now.....

I'll bet R50 there is someone else.. nothing you could have done!

 

[semblance]

I'll bet R50 there is someone else.. nothing you could have done!

I'll bet another R50 it's the cheating ex.

 

[Noob-Noob]

Anyway, start no contact with this woman now and move on. She'll come to realise how much you were worth one day and what a mistake she made. I implore you to not take her back, unless you like being a doormat.

Thanks!, and I wont, i'm to proud and much of a hardass to make contact with my ex'es. i also delete their numbers to avoid the "drunk dialing" scenario.

 

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

I just don't understand, i did nothing wrong, we have not had a single fight or disagreement,

That's your problem right there!!!

 

[Noob-Noob]

Sorry to hear, never a nice situation.

I may have missed it, but how long were you two involved for?

Well yeah, it might sound pathetic, but the actual dating was only a few weeks, i know its not long, but it was soooo intense and fun.....i wanted to be very sure before i changed my FB status and inform the family, so that all happened last week.

 

[Batista]

Glad you figured out that nice guys finish last.

 

[Ancalagon]

What both of you are saying i understand 100% and i agree with it,
What bothers me is she told me i was the type of guy she was searching for, i told her from the start the type of guy i was, and she was more than happy with it, she said she did not want another bad boy, believe me i don't go out searching for high maintenance woman, she did not ask for anything i did for her, but ooo did she LOVE it.
But yeah the problem here was probably more her than me, i think she was not sure what she wanted. Even though i'm pretty pissed and down, i'm okay, its what the family and friends are going to say that gets me really down, after everything i told them, I'm so embarrassed i even deleted my FB.

She lied to you, plain and simple. She deluded herself into thinking she wanted a nice guy, but when it came round to it, she realised she actually didnt.

There are two facts you need to remember.
Fact 1, all women love drama. They will lie to you and swear to you that they hate drama and hate mind games and all that stuff, but its a lie. They love it, they feed off it.
Fact 2, most women (but not all) believe that they are worthless creatures that nobody could love.

The second part is more important actually. What it means is that when you are super nice to a women, this is what she thinks.
"I am worthless, and yet this guy still likes me. This must mean he is worthless too, because only somebody worthless would be nice to me."

If, however, you play games with her, you do not message her immediately, you make her wait, you confuse her, this is what she thinks.
"This guy is not falling all over me. None of my usual charms are working - he must be a keeper! I need to work harder to make sure he is mine."

Its simple psychology. Fact 1 just refers to the fact that women get bored with nice guys precisely because there is no drama. Everything is too easy and there are no battles.

 

[TehStranger]

Well yeah, it might sound pathetic, but the actual dating was only a few weeks, i know its not long, but it was soooo intense and fun.....i wanted to be very sure before i changed my FB status and inform the family, so that all happened last week.

It doesn't sound pathetic, but it does explain her reaction slightly. I think you were just too much to handle (in a good way, always going the extra mile and pouring as much of yourself into the relationship as possible), and her instinct was to push away rather than let things get closer. You went out of your way to be perfect for her, and maybe you were. That frightens her, considering she has been through marriage and divorce, as well as dating a bad boy serial cheater (and the other relationships in between). She was scared of being picked up so high by you and this intense love, that rather than risk being dropped and having her heart shattered (again), she'd rather cut her losses and run. Too much of a good thing always ends badly, right?

Does this sound plausible but highly irrational and illogical? If so, welcome to world of women.

 

[blahdihel]

You mention she's divorced. Divorced from the personal trainer?

If so, maybe he's threatening her, that he will klap you if she continues to see you.

 

[Deadmanza]

You mention she's divorced. Divorced from the personal trainer?

If so, maybe he's threatening her, that he will klap you if she continues to see you.

This is highly unlikely.

 

[Seriously]

Strange, Ask her for a get together and discuss it. Something does not seem right. Then again it's a woman.

Be sure that there is not something or someone else behind this before you judge her actions!