Love Woes

[Topdoggdbn]

Have one more tryst with her if she so wishes, which should be soon. use her. She wants to be treated like meat. then pull out rub some vicks on junior and slam it back in. if you really wanna be nasty hit the back door too! lol

 

[NeonNinja]

The day you comprehend the mind of the female specie, contact me.

 

[Noob-Noob]

It doesn't sound pathetic, but it does explain her reaction slightly. I think you were just too much to handle (in a good way, always going the extra mile and pouring as much of yourself into the relationship as possible), and her instinct was to push away rather than let things get closer. You went out of your way to be perfect for her, and maybe you were. That frightens her, considering she has been through marriage and divorce, as well as dating a bad boy serial cheater (and the other relationships in between). She was scared of being picked up so high by you and this intense love, that rather than risk being dropped and having her heart shattered (again), she'd rather cut her losses and run. Too much of a good thing always ends badly, right?

Does this sound plausible but highly irrational and illogical? If so, welcome to world of women.

wow, thanks, this actually sounds like the best explanation so far...Its sad really, throwing everything away because you are afraid of being let down, rather going for a average relationship so you wont fall to hard , talking about shooting yourself in the foot.
One thing is for sure, me being a complete gentleman wont happen again, they can open their own damn door from now on.


@Blahdihel
Yip, the ex husband was the personal trainer (the cheater), according to her they did not have contact anymore. And I'm a big guy and did wrestling for many years, she knew i would wipe the floor with him, so pretty sure its not that

 

[TelkomUseless]

She lied to you, plain and simple. She deluded herself into thinking she wanted a nice guy, but when it came round to it, she realised she actually didnt.

There are two facts you need to remember.
Fact 1, all women love drama. They will lie to you and swear to you that they hate drama and hate mind games and all that stuff, but its a lie. They love it, they feed off it.
Fact 2, most women (but not all) believe that they are worthless creatures that nobody could love.

The second part is more important actually. What it means is that when you are super nice to a women, this is what she thinks.
"I am worthless, and yet this guy still likes me. This must mean he is worthless too, because only somebody worthless would be nice to me."

If, however, you play games with her, you do not message her immediately, you make her wait, you confuse her, this is what she thinks.
"This guy is not falling all over me. None of my usual charms are working - he must be a keeper! I need to work harder to make sure he is mine."

Its simple psychology. Fact 1 just refers to the fact that women get bored with nice guys precisely because there is no drama. Everything is too easy and there are no battles.

Agreed.. you should have played little bit hard ball. You were too easy available...

 

[XennoX]

Sounds more like infatuation than love to be honest. Also I don't know about constantly spoiling her, it might have lost its impact after the first couple of times.

 

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

@Blahdihel
Yip, the ex husband was the personal trainer (the cheater), according to her they did not have contact anymore. And I'm a big guy and did wrestling for many years, she knew i would wipe the floor with him, so pretty sure its not that

You're not Paul Main Man by any chance heh?

 

[Noob-Noob]

You're not Paul Main Man by any chance heh?

Hahaha, then i would have klaped the charna!!, im talking about normal amature wrestling, not Paul Main Man WWE (i challange the Ultimate Warrior) wrestling

Sounds more like infatuation than love to be honest. Also I don't know about constantly spoiling her, it might have lost its impact after the first couple of times.

You might be right, difficult to differentiate between infatuation and love....

 

[TehStranger]

wow, thanks, this actually sounds like the best explanation so far...Its sad really, throwing everything away because you are afraid of being let down, rather going for a average relationship so you wont fall to hard , talking about shooting yourself in the foot.
One thing is for sure, me being a complete gentleman wont happen again, they can open their own damn door from now on.

Don't lose your manners, they're what make you stand out. Keep them, but perhaps take a more measured approach in how you deal with women from now on. It sucks, but you'll move on in no time.

 

[Noob-Noob]

Don't lose your manners, they're what make you stand out. Keep them, but perhaps take a more measured approach in how you deal with women from now on. It sucks, but you'll move on in no time.

Thanks, you make the most sense in this thread!! (no offense to the others )

 

[TJ99]

You say:

i did absolutely nothing wrong,

But then:

i treated her like a queen, i took her to different places, i complemented her every day

Those 2 are pretty contradictory.

She told me her ex was a "bad boy"

Of course he was. And she probably started banging another ******* who treats her like crap the day you got the first "strange" message from her. Maybe even the same douche as before. That's how women roll. Are there still people out there who don't know this? Still buying into the fantasy that our mothers teach us about how to treat women?

 

[Noob-Noob]

Are there still people out there who don't know this? Still buying into the fantasy that our mothers teach us about how to treat women?

I like to believe there are, but they are unfortunately very rare.
Dont get me wrong, i have had many girlfriends in the past, more than i would like to admit, i just went overboard with this one because i really wanted it to work, im 30 with no kids, all my friends are married and happy, this was the first one i could really see fit in with everyone and i wanted it to badly....lesson learned.

 

[Loumina]

wow, thanks, this actually sounds like the best explanation so far...Its sad really, throwing everything away because you are afraid of being let down, rather going for a average relationship so you wont fall to hard , talking about shooting yourself in the foot.
One thing is for sure, me being a complete gentleman wont happen again, they can open their own damn door from now on.

For women's sake, don't say that! We need gentlemen around the world

But listen, if you being a nice guy or gentleman was an act, then don't try to be it in the future. Be just you!
If it wasn't, I bet you'll get a "Forgive me, I don't know what I was thinking... Give us another chance" sms or call before the end of the week.
I have a husband who gives the "I don't care" look at first sight, gives the impression to be rude (I mean R-U-D-E) when you don't know him! But when you get to know him, he's the complete opposite! Wasn't love at first sight I must admit, but I learned to love him... As for the guy I dated before getting married, he was the perfect gentleman (Expensive date, etc. Everything you described here) but he was such an as***le!!! Sometimes gentleman seems to be just in fairy tell and she was afraid to wake up from her Cinderella fairy tell as TehStranger said.

 

[Deadmanza]

Lament - Just a question had you guys at least bumped the proverbial uglies?

 

[kianm]

[video=youtube_share;SV2hshsChlk]http://youtu.be/SV2hshsChlk[/video]

sorry man, we will never understand them. Just move on

 

[Noob-Noob]

Lament - Just a question had you guys at least bumped the proverbial uglies?

No, we did not, i thought it would be sweet to wait for a special occasion.

 

[semblance]

No, we did not, i thought it would be sweet to wait for a special occasion.

*sigh* you know what I'm thinking right...?

Too damn nice.

Ask yourself, in these past few weeks, what did you get out of it? Not saying it's just about sex, but were you so in to pleasing her, you forgot to take care of your needs (emotional/physical) as well? Anything tangible?

 

[TJ99]

I like to believe there are, but they are unfortunately very rare.
Dont get me wrong, i have had many girlfriends in the past, more than i would like to admit, i just went overboard with this one because i really wanted it to work....lesson learned.

It's called NAWALT - Not All Women Are Like That. It's true, as with anything you can't automatically assume that all people of a certain gender will behave the same and there are exceptions, everyone is an individual etc but the fact is, in general most women ARE like that. They like guys that treat them like **** and enjoy drama. People who treat them well are considered "boring". They also enjoy complaining about how terrible their boyfriends/husbands are to all the poor saps they keep around in their friendzone. Constantly bitching about how he forgets her birthday, yells at her, doesn't care, bla bla bla. But they day it stops, she's out of there because "she's not happy" or "the spark is gone lol" or some equally lame excuse.

 

[Noob-Noob]

For women's sake, don't say that! We need gentlemen around the world

But listen, if you being a nice guy or gentleman was an act, then don't try to be it in the future. Be just you!
If it wasn't, I bet you'll get a "Forgive me, I don't know what I was thinking... Give us another chance" sms or call before the end of the week.
I have a husband who gives the "I don't care" look at first sight, gives the impression to be rude (I mean R-U-D-E) when you don't know him! But when you get to know him, he's the complete opposite! Wasn't love at first sight I must admit, but I learned to love him... As for the guy I dated before getting married, he was the perfect gentleman (Expensive date, etc. Everything you described here) but he was such an as***le!!! Sometimes gentleman seems to be just in fairy tell and she was afraid to wake up from her Cinderella fairy tell as TehStranger said.

It was not an act, i'm normally a gentleman and a very nice and polite guy, my grandmother raised me like that

 

[Noob-Noob]

*sigh* you know what I'm thinking right...?

Too damn nice.

Ask yourself, in these past few weeks, what did you get out of it? Not saying it's just about sex, but were you so in to pleasing her, you forgot to take care of your needs (emotional/physical) as well? Anything tangible?

Honestly, i generally don't care about my needs that much if i really like someone, if she is happy then i am happy.
i have had previous relationships just for the sex (one very recently), i just wanted to do things right with her.

 

[Deadmanza]

No, we did not, i thought it would be sweet to wait for a special occasion.

That's unfortunate... It doesn't pay to wait these days. Woman are just as forward as men, if not more so at least from my recent experience.