Men are Screwed (rule 43)

[Emjay]

Basically I pay for everything.

Yes I am well aware it is calculated on earnings which is also a load of bollocks.
It should be calculated on what the child needs not what the mother demands. (which the courts grant)

Happened to me happening to my 2 friends. Basically the system is skewed.

You may think it's a load of bullocks, but it is the fairest way to approach splitting maintenance payments.

If you think your payments are unfair, you should approach the Maintenance Courts to have this rectified. There are fathers on this forum who have said they have been treated fairly through the Courts. A search should point you in the right direction. Maybe start there instead of complaining about how screwed men are.

How to calculate child maintenance

Information on how to calculate child maintenance and support in South Africa.

www.divorcelaws.co.za

The formula applied in practice to determine this contribution is as follows:


(parent’s gross income) (child’s needs)
_____________________________ _____________

(total gross income of both parents) X 1

= R00.00 (parent’s contribution)


Maintenance cannot be measured in monetary terms alone. Usually, the parent who cares for the child on a daily basis indirectly contributes towards maintenance because of the time they spend together. Notwithstanding this, both parents still have a financial obligation to pay maintenance in accordance with their means, income and expenditures.

Maintenance may need to be adjusted regularly, depending on the changing needs of the child or the financial position of the parents. Once the need for a change in maintenance arises, whether filing a new application or seeking to vary an existing court order/settlement agreement, the applicant can request that the maintenance court:

• set aside an existing maintenance order;
• make a new maintenance order;
• decrease a current order;
• amend a current order; or
• change an existing order.

Either of the parents can apply to the Magistrate’s Court where the children reside for a variation of the current maintenance order, but only if circumstances change. Examples will be if the father for instance, loses his job or remarries; and, in the mother’s case, where a child may need special care (occupational therapy). It was decided in previous cases that where a father remarries and then has to support a "second" family, this financial obligation shouldn't impact negatively on his "first" family. A father may not raise a defence that the needs of his second wife is a reason to reduce maintenance in respect of the children of his first wife.

You see that statue of Lady Law in front of the court houses? The same one Zapiro's cartoon showed having been held down and raped by Zuma & Co? You know she's blindfolded for a reason, so she cannot see who stands in front of her lest she judges by looks, color, creed.. or even ability to rape.

That lady is so disappointed in your logic right now, it's like you just raped her (and the law) too.

You dirty, filthy, double rapist!

Oh wait, rape is systematic violins perpetuated by the patriarchy in order to deny freedom of women's bodies, so that means women can't rape, or some other crap. Lol, you know where its safe from the big bad world out there? Did you just think the kitchen? Good for you.

Just get over yourself ok..

Look at you, tough guy! Hard to imagine why you are divorced.

Yeah, I like the kitchen. I cook really well, and cook often. I even entertain large groups with my cooking. Is it meant to be an insult?

And, good for you that your maintenance terms are over. I mean it must totally suck supporting your children. It's such a chore.

 

[Ninja'd]

 

[TelkomUseless]

 

[Emjay]

I feel for you guys - I never married - I learnt from the shyte my folks caused after they divorced each other and remarried each other 3 times!! I like my freedom and will not put up easily someone else's shyte!

Getting married and raising a family can be one of the most rewarding things to do in life. While people do have issues, and relationships turn bad, that is not the majority of relationships. Divorces which are done quickly and on an amicable basis are even more common, and so are people in long term and loving relationships. I feel for younger people, and those who are still single in the age of Tinder, guys especially, but don't give up. Stay guarded, but at least be open to it.

 

[Magnum]

In other news, Dove Cameron Posted a selfie and got attacked. NSFW!

Dove Cameron shamed for posting braless selfie - but she's not having any of it

Disney star Dove Cameron has hit back at body shamers who called her out for posing without a bra on

www.mirror.co.uk

We as men are baited into slavery.

 

[Ancalagon]

Earnings are based on demand. It's not an area of advantage, but an area that is equal.

Yet, as a woman, I cannot go for a run or ride on my own for fear of being raped. Totes advantaged!

I mentioned earnings because it is held as one area in which men have an advantage over women. I'm not sure that the advantage is due to sexism - if the advantage exists all.

 

[My_King]

Dude.. lol. Divorcing a woman doesn't make someone a Incel...

Yeah some people learn a new word and try to be EDGY

 

[hungrymamba]

Will getting married make me happier? Do I have to do it? But is the love compete without marriage? Parents won't like a marriage less life... I have two kids with two women already... Why would I complicate my life further with marriage...? I'm really thinking about this now. I might as well focus on raising my kids and have a girlfriend for life then... I think.

 

[spiff]

Getting married and raising a family can be one of the most rewarding things to do in life. While people do have issues, and relationships turn bad, that is not the majority of relationships. Divorces which are done quickly and on an amicable basis are even more common, and so are people in long term and loving relationships. I feel for younger people, and those who are still single in the age of Tinder, guys especially, but don't give up. Stay guarded, but at least be open to it.

thanks Emjay for the encouraging words - I have had a few rewarding relationships - one lasted 12yrs till she decided she wanted her "freedom" after the last of her 3 kids left, but as far as marriage goes I don't see that happening as I don't see the point of it.

what difference does a legal document make to a healthy committed relationship?

 

[JayM]

what difference does a legal document make to a healthy committed relationship?

About half your money and stuff.

 

[Emjay]

thanks Emjay for the encouraging words - I have had a few rewarding relationships - one lasted 12yrs till she decided she wanted her "freedom" after the last of her 3 kids left, but as far as marriage goes I don't see that happening as I don't see the point of it.

what difference does a legal document make to a healthy committed relationship?

Sorry to hear. 12 years is a long time.

 

[thestaggy]

My brother didn't even need to get married to battle his arse off to see his daughter.

His attorney was a woman and she herself said everything is stacked against the man when it comes to divorce, maintenance and visitation rights.

 

[Zarnicate]

My brother didn't even need to get married to battle his arse off to see his daughter.

His attorney was a woman and she herself said everything is stacked against the man when it comes to divorce, maintenance and visitation rights.

And that is the point of the whole thread. (we are screwed)

My lawyer said same to me. Both my friend's lawyers said the same to them.
There is no point in doing the custody battle. You will loose as it is stacked against you.
The only time the male gets custody basically is when the woman voluntarily grants it. Any resistance then it goes to the woman

 

[Ancalagon]

In other news, Dove Cameron Posted a selfie and got attacked. NSFW!

Dove Cameron shamed for posting braless selfie - but she's not having any of it

Disney star Dove Cameron has hit back at body shamers who called her out for posing without a bra on

www.mirror.co.uk

We as men are baited into slavery.

She knew she looked hot with her nipples showing - that's why she posted. The whole feminism thing was just a slant that deflected criticism from some people.

I'm all for freeing the nipple, as long as I'm allowed to look.

 

[HartsockZA]

Yea, I took it upon myself to get the old snippy snippy, so no kids for me. My doctor said for a 27-year-old to do this is crazy and irreversible. Then I said to him well if you look at research done in the States, men that do the snippy and want kids all they need to do is go back and let them reattach the cords and there's a chance that your body will resume it's normal function. 9/10 subjects managed to have active sperm even after 4 years of snippy.

And to tell you the truth I am happier cause now I can prove each person I date that comes up with the pregnant crap I just look at them and say."well I can't have kids cause I've done the old snippy'

 

[Ancalagon]

I've never been quite brave enough for that. Maybe at some point I do want kids, I don't know.

But I think there are significant problems with relations between the sexes. I believe feminism has gone too far, and has actually got out of touch with reality. Men feel increasingly alienated, and that their problems are not being listened. Nobody cares about men's problems - feminists say, men had it so good for thousands of years, a little payback is in order.

Which is a strange notion to have - that men "deserve" a little sexism against them. But more than one feminist has said this. So, its no surprise that this alienates men. Why would a man support a feminist if they feminist is actively working against his own interests? If feminists were purely working for equality, then I can see why a man would support them, but they aren't. They don't want 50%, they want 100%.

Not that men are angels and without blame - we certainly aren't. But it feels like both sides are talking past each other, and not really understanding each other.

I predict fewer and fewer people will get married, and fewer and fewer babies will be born. The Western birth rate will drop dramatically, and in about 10 years it might be seen as the biggest threat to our survival. You might start to see adverts encouraging people to hook up. There will be many more single mothers than there are now.

I personally believe that women are more affected by loneliness than men are, but we will see if that is true in a few years. Already just about every dating site, or dating event you go to has a lot more women than men. If you are a guy that is good at picking up women (I unfortunately am not), you will clean up. It will get super easy. Get a snip and you don't have to worry about babies.

 

[Gingerbeardman]

Yea, I took it upon myself to get the old snippy snippy, so no kids for me. My doctor said for a 27-year-old to do this is crazy and irreversible. Then I said to him well if you look at research done in the States, men that do the snippy and want kids all they need to do is go back and let them reattach the cords and there's a chance that your body will resume it's normal function. 9/10 subjects managed to have active sperm even after 4 years of snippy.

And to tell you the truth I am happier cause now I can prove each person I date that comes up with the pregnant crap I just look at them and say."well I can't have kids cause I've done the old snippy'

You know, the tubes sometimes manage to spontaneously re-attach post-op. If you've actually been accused of being the daddy of someone's baby, it's conceivably possible you're a daddy and just don't know it.

 

[FaSMaN]

If she loves you and wants to get married she will sign a Prenuptial agreement stating that thing will be split fairly and you wont pay her to "keep up her lifestyle" if she doesnt want to sign it, she doesnt love you, move on.

 

[HartsockZA]

You know, the tubes sometimes manage to spontaneously re-attach post-op. If you've actually been accused of being the daddy of someone's baby, it's conceivably possible you're a daddy and just don't know it.

Yea they cap it when they do snippy snippy besides, no glove no love rules apply

 

[Mila]

So boys, next time you think its true live and she wants a dress and a party..
Say no but we can have a fantastic ‘honeymoon’ Go on holiday and for the love of the spaghetti monster do not make her pregnant